Taking Family To Open Meetings? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

epskie · 09-16-2012, 06:43 AM

Hi Everyone,
It is an open meeting at my home group tonight. I've taken my H and my Sister before and my Mum has said on numerous occasions that she'd love to come to a meeting to witness the one thing that has helped me stay sober. So I am thinking of taking her tonight.
My question is this - how do other members feel about people bringing family? I don't mind it myself but I often wonder how others feel.
Any thoughts anybody?

Thanks x

Jeni26 · 09-16-2012, 07:00 AM

Hi. Great to hear how brilliantly you're doing my friend xx
I personally have no issue with family members being around in open meetings, that's the point of them isn't it? That they're open?
A few weeks ago a guy brought his little girl with him, she couldn't have been more than 3 years old, sat beautifully playing with her toys and watched her dad collect a chip for being sober 7 years. She obviously had never known him drunk. I thought it was lovely!
I think it's fine, I wouldn't worry about it xx

sugarbear1 · 09-16-2012, 07:27 AM

My sponsor reminds me "It's none of my business what others think or feel about what I do."

Does it matter what others think? They are so self-centered and are there to save their own butts....I don't think they are really thinking about you at the time of a meeting......

Live your life and do what you need to do for you!

p.s. Spiderman joins my Saturday morning meeting weekly, his dad is the chairperson...he arrives in full costume and is usually engrossed in a computer game while he's there. I bought him some stickers to give to him next Saturday. He's about 6......

CarolD · 09-16-2012, 08:43 AM

I think it's super that your family are willing to go...

Congratulations on your recovery progress.

I do hope you and your Mom enjoy the meeting..

DAB · 09-16-2012, 09:42 AM

I don't mind

Veritas1 · 09-16-2012, 09:43 AM

My suggestion would be to bring your mother to a birthday night, or open speaker, anniversary meeting versus an open discussion regular meeting.

Check your local area AA area website for area home group special events, speaker and anniversary meetings.

jennikate · 09-16-2012, 10:25 AM

Doesn't bother me at all. BTW, what is a birthday meeting? I've been to a lot of different meetings in my area and have never heard of this?

sugarbear1 · 09-16-2012, 11:00 AM

It's a Celebration Meeting for recognizing one or more years of continuous sobriety. Some are listed as Celebration or Anniversary of Birthday meetings, some are just part of the Group Conscience as decided by individual meetings. My 7 am meeting celebrates anniversaries on Friday mornings.

tomsteve · 09-16-2012, 11:55 AM

its an open meeting. if anyone has a problem with yer mother being there, it is their problem and they have to make the choice to pocket their pride and sit and listen or leave.
i personally didnt care who saw me fall off a bar stool. i dont care who sees me at a meeting. i love seeing others brings their family members. by the family members being there, they could very well plant a seed in someone they come across of a very good solution to alcoholism.

Mark75 · 09-16-2012, 12:44 PM

I never mind it... Sometimes it gets a little uncomfortable when I know the non alcoholic family member which has happened at least twice... It's an open meeting and if a member of AA finds it helpful to bring family to an open meeting then it's OK with me.

homeefrii218 · 09-16-2012, 02:14 PM

I say you bring them, just re-assure them that it is Alcoholics ANONYMOUS meaning not to break the anonymity of anyone there. I'm trying to find my way back into the rooms, I really am struggling, but when I was in, I loved bringing my non-alcoholic parents to open meetings so they can experience what changed my life for the best.

Tommyh · 09-16-2012, 05:47 PM

bring them
I like to see families get well together

sugarbear1 · 09-16-2012, 07:22 PM

A little sign is available at the Washington DC area intergroup AA office for groups to post at their meetings that states:

"Remember what you hear here and who you see here, please let it stay here."

Taking5 · 09-16-2012, 08:50 PM

Its an Open Meeting. This is a non-issue, but make sure your mother understands what "anonymous" means. Sugarbear nailed this one.

muvinon · 09-17-2012, 04:48 AM

My son came with me to an open meeting, introduced himself, and the men all shook his hand afterwards, etc.

He is just so happy I'm sober and loved meeting people in AA. I think all families would benefit from meeting the real people in AA, myself.

laurie6781 · 09-17-2012, 02:15 PM

My first few months in sobriety, when I was still a very sick person I used
the "F" word a lot!!! My sponsor fairly early in my recovery suggested that
I try real hard NOT to use that word in 'open' meetings as there might be
family members or very close 'friends' of an A there.

Well all I can say is it sure was an inspiration for me to practice NOT using
that word. Work great for me, to this day I rarely use that word anymore
rofl.

So go ahead, bring your mom or other family members that request it
to your open meeting!!! That is AWESOME that you mom made ther re-
quest!!

J M H O

Love and hugs,

wordman · 09-20-2012, 06:06 AM

It's an Open meeting, there is no problem, open meetings are for anyone who wants to learn more about AA

09-16-2012, 06:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
epskie Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Newcastle Upon Tyne Posts: 111	Taking Family To Open Meetings? Hi Everyone, It is an open meeting at my home group tonight. I've taken my H and my Sister before and my Mum has said on numerous occasions that she'd love to come to a meeting to witness the one thing that has helped me stay sober. So I am thinking of taking her tonight. My question is this - how do other members feel about people bringing family? I don't mind it myself but I often wonder how others feel. Any thoughts anybody? Thanks x

09-16-2012, 07:00 AM	#2 (permalink)
Jeni26 Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: South East England Posts: 3,924	Hi. Great to hear how brilliantly you're doing my friend xx I personally have no issue with family members being around in open meetings, that's the point of them isn't it? That they're open? A few weeks ago a guy brought his little girl with him, she couldn't have been more than 3 years old, sat beautifully playing with her toys and watched her dad collect a chip for being sober 7 years. She obviously had never known him drunk. I thought it was lovely! I think it's fine, I wouldn't worry about it xx __________________ 25th May 2012 was the last time I took a drink. I will never forget it. I don't EVER have to feel like that again.

09-16-2012, 07:27 AM	#3 (permalink)
sugarbear1 ~sb Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: MD Posts: 9,763	My sponsor reminds me "It's none of my business what others think or feel about what I do." Does it matter what others think? They are so self-centered and are there to save their own butts....I don't think they are really thinking about you at the time of a meeting...... Live your life and do what you need to do for you! p.s. Spiderman joins my Saturday morning meeting weekly, his dad is the chairperson...he arrives in full costume and is usually engrossed in a computer game while he's there. I bought him some stickers to give to him next Saturday. He's about 6...... __________________ Someday everything will all make sense. For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears, & remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. All Big Book quotes are from the first edition. Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

09-16-2012, 08:43 AM	#4 (permalink)
CarolD Forward we go...side by side Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 37,601	I think it's super that your family are willing to go... Congratulations on your recovery progress. I do hope you and your Mom enjoy the meeting.. __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

09-16-2012, 09:42 AM	#5 (permalink)
DAB Member Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 259	I don't mind __________________ To Thine Own Self Be True

09-16-2012, 09:43 AM	#6 (permalink)
Veritas1 Member Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 3,039	My suggestion would be to bring your mother to a birthday night, or open speaker, anniversary meeting versus an open discussion regular meeting. Check your local area AA area website for area home group special events, speaker and anniversary meetings. __________________ AA quotes first edition

09-16-2012, 10:25 AM	#7 (permalink)
jennikate Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Connecticut Posts: 733 Blog Entries: 3	Doesn't bother me at all. BTW, what is a birthday meeting? I've been to a lot of different meetings in my area and have never heard of this?

09-16-2012, 11:00 AM	#8 (permalink)
sugarbear1 ~sb Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: MD Posts: 9,763	It's a Celebration Meeting for recognizing one or more years of continuous sobriety. Some are listed as Celebration or Anniversary of Birthday meetings, some are just part of the Group Conscience as decided by individual meetings. My 7 am meeting celebrates anniversaries on Friday mornings. __________________ Someday everything will all make sense. For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears, & remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. All Big Book quotes are from the first edition. Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

09-16-2012, 11:55 AM	#9 (permalink)
tomsteve Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: northern michigan. not the U.P. Posts: 2,876	its an open meeting. if anyone has a problem with yer mother being there, it is their problem and they have to make the choice to pocket their pride and sit and listen or leave. i personally didnt care who saw me fall off a bar stool. i dont care who sees me at a meeting. i love seeing others brings their family members. by the family members being there, they could very well plant a seed in someone they come across of a very good solution to alcoholism. __________________ all big book quotes from 1st edition

09-16-2012, 12:44 PM	#10 (permalink)
Mark75 Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 6,819	I never mind it... Sometimes it gets a little uncomfortable when I know the non alcoholic family member which has happened at least twice... It's an open meeting and if a member of AA finds it helpful to bring family to an open meeting then it's OK with me.

09-16-2012, 02:14 PM	#11 (permalink)
homeefrii218 Member Join Date: Sep 2012 Posts: 14	I say you bring them, just re-assure them that it is Alcoholics ANONYMOUS meaning not to break the anonymity of anyone there. I'm trying to find my way back into the rooms, I really am struggling, but when I was in, I loved bringing my non-alcoholic parents to open meetings so they can experience what changed my life for the best.

09-16-2012, 05:47 PM	#12 (permalink)
Tommyh Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 18,952	bring them I like to see families get well together

09-16-2012, 07:22 PM	#13 (permalink)
sugarbear1 ~sb Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: MD Posts: 9,763	A little sign is available at the Washington DC area intergroup AA office for groups to post at their meetings that states: "Remember what you hear here and who you see here, please let it stay here." __________________ Someday everything will all make sense. For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears, & remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. All Big Book quotes are from the first edition. Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

09-16-2012, 08:50 PM	#14 (permalink)
Taking5 Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: LA - Lower Alabama Posts: 4,244	Its an Open Meeting. This is a non-issue, but make sure your mother understands what "anonymous" means. Sugarbear nailed this one. __________________ It is easier to practice total abstinence than perfect moderation _______________________________________ Any quotes from the big book of AA are from the first edition, or are otherwise exempt from copyright infringement under the "fair use doctrine".

09-17-2012, 04:48 AM	#15 (permalink)
muvinon Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Houston Texas Posts: 510	My son came with me to an open meeting, introduced himself, and the men all shook his hand afterwards, etc. He is just so happy I'm sober and loved meeting people in AA. I think all families would benefit from meeting the real people in AA, myself.

09-17-2012, 02:15 PM	#16 (permalink)
laurie6781 Belgian Sheepdog Adictee Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: In Today Posts: 5,958	My first few months in sobriety, when I was still a very sick person I used the "F" word a lot!!! My sponsor fairly early in my recovery suggested that I try real hard NOT to use that word in 'open' meetings as there might be family members or very close 'friends' of an A there. Well all I can say is it sure was an inspiration for me to practice NOT using that word. Work great for me, to this day I rarely use that word anymore rofl. So go ahead, bring your mom or other family members that request it to your open meeting!!! That is AWESOME that you mom made ther re- quest!! J M H O Love and hugs, __________________ God Bless You All As You Trudge The Road Of Happy Destiny (especially when you are trudgin thru alligators up to your butt) Sobriety: AA June 7, 1981 Codependency: Alanon June 7, 1984

09-20-2012, 06:06 AM	#17 (permalink)
wordman Member Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: New York, NY Posts: 20	It's an Open meeting, there is no problem, open meetings are for anyone who wants to learn more about AA

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