Staying sober w AA

[Kelltic]

I would appreciate some feedback, please.

When I decided to live, and admitted I was a broken person and an alcoholic, the first thing I did that morning was call an outpatient rehab facility. I thought that's what I was supposed to do. I went to AA to demonstrate how serious I was, though I was sure it wasn't for me. Well, AA IS for me. I am embracing the spiritual awakening I'm experiencing and lifestyle.

I have a sponsor who has 20 years sober and a job like mine. She actually founded my home group. I have prayed on this, spoken to her, my husband, and my therapist. I am returning to work and leaving outpatient group therapy. I want to focus on AA, my family, and my career.

I am that alcoholic the big book describes - no amount of therapy (and I have had a LOT of it) could cure me as long as I was unwilling to admit I was an alcoholic and surrender my will. I go to at least one meeting a day (and will continue to), I'm working the steps (up to 4), I'm taking on a commitment at my meeting, I'm making phone calls. I still see my therapist.

Most of the members of the group attacked me today, and I understand the concerns (and two apologized for attacks based on projection of their own issues). My sponsor, husband, & therapist are on board with my decision. I always have the option of taking a leave of absence (thought it would endanger my job for next year) if working the program isn't enough. I am a firm believer, however, that AA works if I want it to. It is working and I am working as hard as I can.

Anybody get - and stay - sober with just AA?

[miamifella]

I do not think therapy can help ANYONE who will not admit to a problem.

Your question asks if AA works for other people---but I think the only important question is "does AA work for you?" You are upset that your therapy group is not happy with your decision to leave. Are you happy with it?

You do not have "just AA." You say you see a therapist as well. The two can compliment each other. If they are not enough for you, then you have other options. You do not have to have your absolute perfect solution now. You just have to get through today.

Lots of people stay sober with AA. Lot of people cannot. But you will never know which group you fall into until you give AA time and effort.

[Kelltic]

AA works for me. It's not just about not drinking - it's about being a better person in every aspect of my life. I also didn't mean "just AA" - I should have said get and stay sober without rehab.

Today I am sober. And grateful.

[candi7]

Originally Posted by Kelltic

I would appreciate some feedback, please.

When I decided to live, and admitted I was a broken person and an alcoholic, the first thing I did that morning was call an outpatient rehab facility. I thought that's what I was supposed to do. I went to AA to demonstrate how serious I was, though I was sure it wasn't for me. Well, AA IS for me. I am embracing the spiritual awakening I'm experiencing and lifestyle.

I have a sponsor who has 20 years sober and a job like mine. She actually founded my home group. I have prayed on this, spoken to her, my husband, and my therapist. I am returning to work and leaving outpatient group therapy. I want to focus on AA, my family, and my career.

I am that alcoholic the big book describes - no amount of therapy (and I have had a LOT of it) could cure me as long as I was unwilling to admit I was an alcoholic and surrender my will. I go to at least one meeting a day (and will continue to), I'm working the steps (up to 4), I'm taking on a commitment at my meeting, I'm making phone calls. I still see my therapist.

Most of the members of the group attacked me today, and I understand the concerns (and two apologized for attacks based on projection of their own issues). My sponsor, husband, & therapist are on board with my decision. I always have the option of taking a leave of absence (thought it would endanger my job for next year) if working the program isn't enough. I am a firm believer, however, that AA works if I want it to. It is working and I am working as hard as I can.

Anybody get - and stay - sober with just AA?

Your sponsor is in agreement-that's all that matters! You are doing an awesome job keep it up!

I do aa and deal with my mental health doctor for my mental issues-It works for me...

[miamifella]

Rehab is not going anywhere. It will always be there is you ever need it. But many people get sober without it. It sounds like you have a strong network of people to help you, and you seem highly motivated--so a lot of what people go to rehab to get, you already have.

If you have any doubts ask your therapist. He or she probably has worked with others in your position and can give you an informed opinion. Or if not, he or she can direct you to someone who can.

But your doubts actually seem like a positives sign to me. You are questioning yourself and not taking things for granted. That is what all of us need to do as we move along toward recovery and wholeness.

[Kelltic]

Thanks, Miami & Candi. I'm very early in recovery and I have a long way to go spiritually...I still have amends to make. It's too soon for my loved ones to trust my judgment, and I am questioning because when I was active in disease my judgment wasn't always so sound. I was accused of cutting corners today with my recovery. I don't feel that I need outpatient treatment if I'm working the program. Work is also part of my recovery. I love what I do, and I tend to fall into destructive behaviors when I am not working.

I think in my favor is that I was not drinking daily (binges that were sporadic) so I didn't have to go through physical withdrawal. I also have a solid background of therapy and I'm continuing with it.

My immediate family is very supportive, but my parents wanted me to be inpatient (the facility assigned me to outpatient intensive, 3 hours 3x/week). My sponsor & husband both advised that I not discuss outpatient treatment with them anymore, and if they bring it up, to tell them I have transferred to the night program. I don't like lying and I was surprised that they both recommended it. I believe that they are coming from the perspective that my parents are very controlling and the less opportunity they have to criticize or try to control my recovery the better.

[candi7]

You are doing a great job, keep up the good work, sounds like you have a great sponsor-that makes a big difference.

[bbthumper]

It sounds like you are doing all the right things. Especially working the steps with your sponsor! Keep it up!!!
I used to be on psych meds and see therapist and dr regularly. I havent had the need to see a therapist or take meds in the last 4 years since working the steps. That is not the case for everyone, but it was for me and many others. Some folks find they need outside help and AA encourages that.

[anotherquitter]

I know many people who got sober and have stayed sober with AA. It sounds like you have good support and are committed to working the program. There is no easy path.
I only have 4 months myself, but I know I wouldn't have managed that without AA, add the support of my loving wife.

[Kelltic]

I just got the idea about calling rehab from TV/movies lol. I'm so grateful for AA and people here.

[UpperbucksAAguy]

yes you can

[DayTrader]

I used AA AND a fair amount of outside stuff....still do. I got lucky and found a really strong therapist (2 actually) who are also long-term sober in AA (16 yrs for one, 32 or 3 for the other).

Some of the therapy stuff has been contradictory to AA stuff...and it's helped anyway....but not all of it. Some of it was rather counter-productive. Come of that contradictory stuff was, on the other hand, MORE helpful than AA's stuff. So really, there were no absolutes.

What I have found is that therapy has helped me a lot with inventory....helped me see a lot more and even accept a lot more of the truth about myself. In the actual dealing with that truth, I've not found anything even close to how well AA's program directs us.

Ultimately, to go or not to go is YOUR call. Talk to your sponsor......talk to the ppl you trust......and talk to God. (that last one is the most important, btw). When I'm doing something I know the group is "against," more or less...... I just keep my mouth shut and don't tell em. I look at it like this: I'm seeking truth and I'm seeking God......any tool I use to further those two searches is a good one. Sometimes though, what I think is a good tool isn't so good......and I have to keep my eyes open and my humility high to recognize/admit when I'm off the path. Sponsor's are good in that area.

[Db1105]

I did outpatient therapy my first 6 months. I ended it to start my education. The therapy helped me with not drinking, Alcoholics Anonymous got me sober.

[2granddaughters]

Originally Posted by Kelltic

Anybody get - and stay - sober with just AA?

Yup.

I was a suicidal, psych ward, hopeless, helpless drunk and surrendered to AA in 1989.

Over the years I have sat at tables with priests, ministers, doctors, lawyers, chiefs-of-police, nurses, financial planners, teachers, multimillionaires and street folks.
We all were at the meeting for the same purpose best described in "How It Works"

At my home group you can often sit at a table with 150-200 yrs sobriety, best therapy I can get. $1 a session... and free coffee !!
I hang out with quite a few AAs and I'm usually the "newbie" with 23 yrs. They are 25-40 yr folks

PM me if you want.

All the best.

Bob R

[tomsteve]

by the grace of God, AA has worked for me.
it is important for people to know that AA doesnt not say it is a cure all. there are problems physical and psychological that may effect some people that AA highly suggests outside help for.

[muvinon]

I did.

I have done therapy, and I did get alot out of it, but the solutions were in the 12 steps.

Therapy was very good for pulling me out of denial.

[todd6138]

To thine own self be true. I turned down therapy because Aa Is the most cost effective option and in the program we are all experienced professionals lol. My wife and I managed to stay together and I am employed all because of AA. It works if you work it!

[Hollyanne]

AA is doing it for me at this time.
I enjoyed reading this whole thread.
I have also used meds and had a great therapist (AA sober 20yrs+).
Right now, AA is doing it for me. Lots and lots of prayer and being tough with myself!
No shortcuts, I would love a shortcut!

[Kelltic]

I have a therapist I like and trust. I occasionally see a psychiatrist just to check in (I'm on Zoloft and when I'm not drinking it does its job). My psych issues have been good and I've done a lot of good work in therapy. The denial of alcoholism was the stone around my neck.

I answer to my higher power first and foremost. On the physical plane, I am accountable to my sponsor and my husband, in that order when it comes to my recovery. My sponsor is very supportive as long as I am open to returning if I need to.

As for my husband, it's amazing. I have done many very hurtful things, including lying repeatedly, but he has seen such a dramatic change since I surrendered 14 days ago that he is willing to trust my judgment on this. In fact, he was at work last night (he is gone 24+ hours at a time) and he texted me that he forgives me (and I didn't ask for forgiveness, as it's very early). How's that for a blessing? That's what working the steps has done for me.

I will miss the outpatient group, as the people there are good people. However, I want to go back to work and I want to focus on AA and my family. I don't want to be spread too thin, and I feel good about that. I'm taking on a commitment at the next business meeting.

Could I do outpatient at night? I could, and I will discuss that option tomorrow. But in my heart, I believe focusing on AA (and seeing my therapist) is what works for me. BTW, the counselor asks for my feedback on other people half the time bc I am the only person working the program as hard as I can. They encourage AA/NA. I have a support system that's growing. I know my triggers. I am aware of my major issues, and it is AA that is helping me work through them with the steps.

[Kelltic]

Has anyone else had the experience with AA that a radical change was immediate, like a light being switched on? I can't believe how rapid and extreme the transformation has been....and this is just the beginning.