AA Social Experience

[Kelltic]

Good morning!

My sponsor invited me to someone's house after a meeting to celebrate her 2-year anniversary. I went because I DIDN'T want to go. And important part of recovery is facing my fears, and I have tremendous social anxiety. I didn't know that woman celebrating, but she is a member of my home group and I knew most of the people there.

My husband didn't want to go - this is new to him too, and he felt uncomfortable. This was upsetting until I realized that he is pretty supportive and I am the only one who must do everything possible to stay sober, NOT him. And I prayed. I was feeling anxious and praying and more anxious that the anxiety wasn't going. Then I realized that it was OK to feel that way, and the anxiety lifted (left once I stopped trying to control my feelings and let it go to my higher power!)

After the meeting, my sponsor & I went to the party. Usually, I avoid social situations, get drunk, or if I stay sober, wish I were drinking. NONE of the above here! I felt really peaceful and had an excellent time. I stayed three hours. Everyone made me feel welcome.

Going to AA is the best thing I have ever done, and the spiritual awakening so far is the best thing that's happened to me. I still feel a little nervous some times...have I become a cult member? Then I think, I don't give a **** because IT WORKS. I feel it was my higher power that led me to choose my home group. There are all levels of recovery there, and some of the senior members have been providing excellent guidance. I finally feel like I belong somewhere. I don't have much of a social life and being with other people in recovery feels great.

I just wanted to share this and was wondering if anyone else has experienced this. I know I've been posting a lot, I'm sorry if it's too much...I have a lot of questions and I'm experiencing so much and I find that talking about it and listening to others helps with clarity.

[cheese1]

glad you had a great time, what a lovely story

[tomsteve]

cool beans!!!


naaaa, yer not a cult member. did someone get sacrificed at the party? were ya told when you could leave? has anyone said you cant leave AA? do you get demands put on you on how yer gonna thing and act?
or are you given the freedom to take what ya want, leave the rest and if ya dont like it, free to step away?

i felt like tht when it came to the 2nd step. i came to believe, then i thought," man, i sure hope they dont tell me that now that i have came to believe, they dont tell me what i am gonna believe." hasnt happened and wont.


no, yer posts are not too much. it is always great to see someone who wants to put in the footwork to change themselves and is responsive in a positive way of the replies. living sober was all new to me so i had a zillion and one questions.

[Kelltic]

My sponsor said, when I mentioned family issues, that she found family in AA (in addition to friends). I found that interesting. And most of her social life is with AA members because we have so much in common.

No one has had any objections to me being an atheist (which I've shared). I think it's pretty obvious that I've had the spiritual enter my life. In the almost 2 weeks I've been going to my home group, I've received comments on how I look physically different, like the program is working from the inside out. I wasn't a daily drinker, so I don't think the change is alcohol related. It's crazy that there has been a PHYSICAL change in my appearance from the spiritual awakening.

Thanks for the feedback. I am an eager student. I was always that kid who sat right in front and always raised my hand and took a ton of notes lol because I love learning. I also wanted the best grades I could get. I think this aspect of my personality will be very helpful in recovery...if tempted to relapse, the thought of losing the days would kill me. I also feel like if I learn as much as I can, LISTEN, and work hard, lasting sobriety is a gift that I can receive. It's a matter of how willing I am...and I've had enough of the old way.

[Tommyh]

aa friends are good.Helping AA friends celebrate birthdays are good.It does help us to get out and start ending our isolation.



I used to go to AA stuff a lot.However I use a word of caution here because of what I fell into,and I am not saying you are doing it.Just a word of caution for future reflection.

in the end,it depends on what I do with my family.
if I am gone every night to a aa meeting or off with aa friends,and neglecting my family,I am doing the wrong thing as long as I have been sober.At first,it helped a lot,but later on I found I was hiding out in meetings and with aa friends and neglecting my family and home responsibilities.AA is a great place to hide from life.
what good would I be to my family if I was gone every night?None.

a old timer told me once
any sobriety that don`t include my family ain`t much sobriety.He is right .Today,I spend as much time with my wife,children and grand daughter as possible.
good luck on your journey

[UpperbucksAAguy]

I find smaller gatherings like that easier to help get over social anxiety. Glad you went

[Kelltic]

Thank you, Tommy. I go back to work soon and I plan on not taking work home (a big issue in the past, I have already improved in that area since I had my 7-month-old). My priorities are my family & AA.

Someone shared in a recent meeting about how she lives in "an AA bubble" (this is one of the reasons why I decided not to ask her to be my sponsor). I want to be sure that I have balance in my life. Embracing AA is about being on a spiritual journey, healing, and applying the principles to ALL areas of my life. Balance is so important, and as a person with addictive tendencies, I am aware of the need for balance.

So far, it's a meeting a day (two on Sundays as I like to go to a women's meeting because women's meetings scare me and I need to get over that). Just one social outing, and while this group seems tight, it's not every night or even every weekend that they get together. Also, this group meets at 5pm, so I'm home to feed my kids and get them to bed, as well as spend some time with my husband.

I still have social events that revolve around my children and my husband's job and our mutual friends. Do you have any suggestions on how to avoid falling into hiding in the rooms?

So far, I actually feel like I am more PRESENT for my family, especially my kids. I think this is part of the spiritual awakening and living every day one day at a time, not crippled by the shame & guilt of the past and obsessive worry about the future.

[Freedom55]

Thank you so much for sharing this Kelltic.

lh

[candi7]

One evening I thought I didn't need a meeting and forget it... but I knew I needed it. So I went... They didn't know that I was feeling suicidal that night and maybe from the tone and content of what I shared a fellow AA member-knew he had to tell me his story-after the meeting. It truely saved my life.. Then I thought, I think I'll go to another meeting-around the corner from where I was at that night. I still felt I needed to be locked away or something... Then I met her! She walked up to me and said, You are just so beautiful, (I was thinking-Lady, if you know what I feel inside-you'd probably walk away), but she said, Hey, you want an ice cream (I said, well I don't have money for that) she's like forget about it, I'm buying! OH MY GOSH! As we sat there and talked, I found that her struggles are my struggles and what goes on in my head, was going on in her head... I met my BEST FRIEND! You have to understand I haven't had a best friend in YEARS-probably school age sometime-and I'm 42... AND I THOUGHT I SHOULD STAY HOME-WOW.. that would have been a bad choice... I can't believe how much this LONER has become social-mind you with like minded people-but that's ok, they understand me..

[Kelltic]

Thanks so much Candi for sharing. I really don't have a good girl friend I can call up...but I am forming friendships now. I'm only on day 12, but if I suddenly stopped showing up, I know there are people who would call.

I just confirmed that my temp sponsor is now my permanent sponsor and I am so joyful. She is the one who invited me out last night. I got the feeling last night that I belonged. I was accepted. People actually like me because I'm a pretty cool person. I can carry this experience with me outside of the world of AA. But it's pretty awesome that I have the opportunities to have this sort of experience.

[FlyerFan]

Thank you for posting this.