I go to meetings because... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

dallasblues · 08-22-2012, 09:15 AM

I go to meetings, not so much because I'm worried I might drink, but because I just don't know how to live sober. I've been sober over two and a half years now. In this time, I've been a mess socially. I'm completely awkward around people and have had little success with relationships. My sponsor recommends that I spend some time getting to know other members of AA after each meeting. I'm just terrified of these situations. I'm so much more comfortable isolating. Yet, when I do, I become miserable in my loneliness.

Tommyh · 08-22-2012, 09:27 AM

so true

bbthumper · 08-22-2012, 09:31 AM

Hey dallas,
Sorry to hear about your struggle. Have you worked the steps with your sponsor? They seemed to have taken away a lot of my insecurities.

When I first came into AA I had been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder, so I can relate to where you are coming from. I can tell you that the more I stepped out of my comfort zone the bigger that zone got. I still struggle in situations where I dont know anyone, but it is no longer that crippling anxiety I used to get.

Wish you the best.

dallasblues · 08-22-2012, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bbthumper

Hey dallas,
Sorry to hear about your struggle. Have you worked the steps with your sponsor? They seemed to have taken away a lot of my insecurities.

When I first came into AA I had been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder, so I can relate to where you are coming from. I can tell you that the more I stepped out of my comfort zone the bigger that zone got. I still struggle in situations where I dont know anyone, but it is no longer that crippling anxiety I used to get.

Wish you the best.

Thank you. Yes, I've gone through the steps with him. I think it's time to double my efforts in the program. I don't know what else to do. I'm currently seeing a therapist and taking anti anxiety medication. I also go to meetings regularly. Unfortunately it's still a crippling situation... or so it feels. My relationship with my girlfriend is even suffering.

Jersey Nonny · 08-22-2012, 10:12 AM

I'm no longer physically able to attend meetings...and, I miss them something fierce!!!

I did go to meetings because I needed somewhere to go in early sobriety...my social life until then was in the bars.

As I made friends in AA, I continued to go to meetings because I enjoyed the comraderie. I was fortunate to live in an area with lots of meetings to choose from...and groups that were involved in social activities outside of the rooms.

There is a lot of wisdom in AA, and I feel privileged to be able to pass what I've learned over the years to others trying to get/stay sober.

With over thirty years of sobriety, even though I may never be able to attend another meeting, I'll always consider myself a member of AA.

UpperbucksAAguy · 08-22-2012, 12:45 PM

it took me awhile ( years) to start to learn to live sober

CarolD · 08-22-2012, 12:59 PM

I continue to go to meetings so I can meet members like you Dallas.
I'm always glad to see you ....good to know you are there for
others too...

Gives new meaning to the idea "It's a we program"

Mcribb · 08-22-2012, 02:05 PM

I don't really get along well with the people in AA. We are nice to each other but when we hang out outside AA they can get on my nerves. My friends outside the program drink a bunch and rarely get on my nerves. I keep an open mind though maybe it will get better.

2granddaughters · 08-22-2012, 02:18 PM

As it says in HOW IT WORKS "even those with grave emotional and mental disorders do recover if they have the capacity to be honest".

My fears, anxieties, worries etc can all be addressed in Steps 6 & 7 if I surrender them as well as the drink.

All the best.

Bob R

Kelltic · 08-22-2012, 04:02 PM

I have fierce social anxiety, so I force myself to either stay after a meeting and talk to someone or make a phone call - or both. I ran out of a meeting early yesterday bc I wanted to approach someone but was afraid. I called her an hour later because the only way I'm going to stay sober is to confront my fears. It's uncomfortable and I hope it gets easier as I keep on doing it.

muvinon · 08-23-2012, 05:33 AM

Just sit by someone like me. I'm chatterbox type. Find those.....and they will love ya.

08-22-2012, 09:15 AM	#1 (permalink)
dallasblues Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Posts: 21	I go to meetings because... I go to meetings, not so much because I'm worried I might drink, but because I just don't know how to live sober. I've been sober over two and a half years now. In this time, I've been a mess socially. I'm completely awkward around people and have had little success with relationships. My sponsor recommends that I spend some time getting to know other members of AA after each meeting. I'm just terrified of these situations. I'm so much more comfortable isolating. Yet, when I do, I become miserable in my loneliness.

08-22-2012, 09:31 AM	#3 (permalink)
bbthumper Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Cleveland, OH Posts: 1,143	Hey dallas, Sorry to hear about your struggle. Have you worked the steps with your sponsor? They seemed to have taken away a lot of my insecurities. When I first came into AA I had been diagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder, so I can relate to where you are coming from. I can tell you that the more I stepped out of my comfort zone the bigger that zone got. I still struggle in situations where I dont know anyone, but it is no longer that crippling anxiety I used to get. Wish you the best. __________________ *~BBThumper* ~All Big Book Quotes from the 1st edition A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. C. S. Lewis

08-22-2012, 10:12 AM	#5 (permalink)
Jersey Nonny Old & Sober Member of AA Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey Posts: 5,175	I'm no longer physically able to attend meetings...and, I miss them something fierce!!! I did go to meetings because I needed somewhere to go in early sobriety...my social life until then was in the bars. As I made friends in AA, I continued to go to meetings because I enjoyed the comraderie. I was fortunate to live in an area with lots of meetings to choose from...and groups that were involved in social activities outside of the rooms. There is a lot of wisdom in AA, and I feel privileged to be able to pass what I've learned over the years to others trying to get/stay sober. With over thirty years of sobriety, even though I may never be able to attend another meeting, I'll always consider myself a member of AA. __________________ He's coming to town... ...via the Polar Express!!!

08-22-2012, 12:45 PM	#6 (permalink)
UpperbucksAAguy Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 464	it took me awhile ( years) to start to learn to live sober __________________ All Big Book quotes are from first Edition -

08-22-2012, 12:59 PM	#7 (permalink)
CarolD Forward we go...side by side Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 37,601	I continue to go to meetings so I can meet members like you Dallas. I'm always glad to see you ....good to know you are there for others too... Gives new meaning to the idea "It's a we program" __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

08-22-2012, 09:27 AM	#2 (permalink)
Tommyh Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 18,953	so true

08-22-2012, 02:05 PM	#8 (permalink)
Mcribb Practice Sobriety Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: KC missouri Posts: 687 Blog Entries: 370	I don't really get along well with the people in AA. We are nice to each other but when we hang out outside AA they can get on my nerves. My friends outside the program drink a bunch and rarely get on my nerves. I keep an open mind though maybe it will get better. __________________ Open your mind, not a beer

08-22-2012, 02:18 PM	#9 (permalink)
2granddaughters in my 24th year of sobriety Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get Posts: 4,393	As it says in HOW IT WORKS "even those with grave emotional and mental disorders do recover if they have the capacity to be honest". My fears, anxieties, worries etc can all be addressed in Steps 6 & 7 if I surrender them as well as the drink. All the best. Bob R __________________ . . .If you want to drink, that's your business ..... .If you want to quit, that's A.A.'s business. . . --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. . . L.D. 1989

08-22-2012, 04:02 PM	#10 (permalink)
Kelltic Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: NY Posts: 117 Blog Entries: 2	I have fierce social anxiety, so I force myself to either stay after a meeting and talk to someone or make a phone call - or both. I ran out of a meeting early yesterday bc I wanted to approach someone but was afraid. I called her an hour later because the only way I'm going to stay sober is to confront my fears. It's uncomfortable and I hope it gets easier as I keep on doing it.

08-23-2012, 05:33 AM	#11 (permalink)
muvinon Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Houston Texas Posts: 514	Just sit by someone like me. I'm chatterbox type. Find those.....and they will love ya.

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