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|08-16-2012, 10:00 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2011
I've been in and out of the fellowships for over 22 years, more out than in. As a general rule I'd relapse long and hard and low and through a combination of shame and chemical blinders I didn't go back for months, years, a decade.
I hope I have a better chance this time. . . when I really went out (using and boozing) I went out for 5 days. But I came back. I have to meetings even when I have failed to acheive even 24 hours' sobriety. I've been back for a 33 days this time and while I haven't been sober the whole time, I'm managing to string together a couple, 4, 5 days at a time.
I am talking to the ceiling a lot more, too. I find The Ceiling is more receptable to me when I pray to it more than the minimum requisite "upon waking and before hitting the pillow."
Obviously there is so much more to be done than hitting multiple meetings a day and talking to the ceiling at random and frequent intervals. But I did find that hitting at least 2 (often 3) meetings a day has done wonders for my HP awareness. And it is one step at a time, right? One day at a time?
In 1 minute I will have my 2 day anniversary. And I will keepcomingbackkeepcomingbackkeepcomingback
for letting me share.
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|08-17-2012, 05:28 AM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2012
Welcome back !
A "chronic relapser" for 13 years, in and out ... 60 days , out, 45 and so on ... " staying" is more important than "keep coming back" to me.
Keep coming back is a but misleading. It implies I have the choice in whether I come back or not. I learned in my last relapse I have no choice, I have a better shot if I stay than rely on my old train of thinking "well, I can always come back."
Having lost the power of choice, suffering from a malady in which I could actually forget why I have to come back (stay clean and sober) ... I have to give it all to God and concede to my inner most self I am powerless, including the safety net of I can always come back. It was a delusion of my alcoholism that had to be smashed!
|08-17-2012, 06:35 AM||#3 (permalink)|
in my 24th year of sobriety
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
You will become aware that it is far easier to "stay" than to "come back". A hard lesson for an alcoholic of my sort.
All the best..
.If you want to drink, that's your business .....
.If you want to quit, that's A.A.'s business.
. --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.
. L.D. 1989
|08-17-2012, 06:45 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Bob took the words out of my mouth. Staying is so much easier than coming back. The key is to not only attend the meetings, but do what is suggested in the book and by the sober members at those meetings. Action is the key word. Youre on the right track. Keep it up.
~All Big Book Quotes from the 1st edition
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.
C. S. Lewis
|The Following User Says Thank You to bbthumper For This Useful Post:|| |
|08-17-2012, 07:51 AM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2011
You aren't alone. I started AA in 1986. I have 15 months and one day today.
I hope you find a sponsor who really understands the step process!
Keep Coming Back!
Someday everything will all make sense.
For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears,
& remind yourself that everything happens for a reason.
All Big Book quotes are from the first edition.
Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
|08-17-2012, 08:01 AM||#6 (permalink)|
Forward we go...side by side
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
The Steps were vital for me to go from often shakey
sobriety into solid recovery....
Hope this is your time for lasting recovery
Each Day Sober Is A Victory!!
Joy In AA Recovery!
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|08-17-2012, 09:13 AM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
I attended AA meetings my first few years intoxicated most of the time. I went for the free coffee and donuts they sometimes had. I don't it helped much because I would not be able to remember anything good I heard. Now I been sober over 1year minus 2 days and see things more clearly.
|08-17-2012, 03:43 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
It is beautiful that "we" have somewhere to go if "we" make those slips. Welcomed back home, not beat , looked down, ect....
So glad your back home.
Like all have said already, its easier to stay then come back. Plus you might not even get the option if there were to be a next time.
"The only real thing in life are dreams, which nature cant touch with decay." Bob Dylan
"Each day,somewhere in the world ,recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic , sharing experience,strength and hope."
|08-17-2012, 05:45 PM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jan 2012
I watched a friend struggle for 30 years bouncing in and out. All I know is that it's a lot easier to stay sober than it is to get sober.
|08-18-2012, 12:19 AM||#10 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2011
Thanks y'all. TBH if I didn't have to, like, shower and eat and stuff I probably would just stay all the time. But it's still summer here and in deference to the common welfare, I go home and shower and then come back, lol.
. . . I'm struggle with a few co-morbidities and finally got the buts* up to call Hazeldon tonight to request contact re: their scholarship programs.
*Typo. I like it. Gonna leave it.
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|08-20-2012, 07:16 PM||#11 (permalink)|
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: columbus ohio
honey praying does a great deal and if you are ready it will not be hard to be willing.Have you ever tried a sponsor and working the steps i was out there 30 years did everything you can think of i pray you get this and congrats on your 2 days hang in there sweety
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