keepcomingbackkeepcomingbackkeepcomingback - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

lizak · 08-16-2012, 10:00 PM

I've been in and out of the fellowships for over 22 years, more out than in. As a general rule I'd relapse long and hard and low and through a combination of shame and chemical blinders I didn't go back for months, years, a decade.

I hope I have a better chance this time. . . when I really went out (using and boozing) I went out for 5 days. But I came back. I have to meetings even when I have failed to acheive even 24 hours' sobriety. I've been back for a 33 days this time and while I haven't been sober the whole time, I'm managing to string together a couple, 4, 5 days at a time.

I am talking to the ceiling a lot more, too. I find The Ceiling is more receptable to me when I pray to it more than the minimum requisite "upon waking and before hitting the pillow."

Obviously there is so much more to be done than hitting multiple meetings a day and talking to the ceiling at random and frequent intervals. But I did find that hitting at least 2 (often 3) meetings a day has done wonders for my HP awareness. And it is one step at a time, right? One day at a time?

In 1 minute I will have my 2 day anniversary. And I will keepcomingbackkeepcomingbackkeepcomingback

for letting me share.

Route164 · 08-17-2012, 05:28 AM

Welcome back !

A "chronic relapser" for 13 years, in and out ... 60 days , out, 45 and so on ... " staying" is more important than "keep coming back" to me.

Keep coming back is a but misleading. It implies I have the choice in whether I come back or not. I learned in my last relapse I have no choice, I have a better shot if I stay than rely on my old train of thinking "well, I can always come back."

Having lost the power of choice, suffering from a malady in which I could actually forget why I have to come back (stay clean and sober) ... I have to give it all to God and concede to my inner most self I am powerless, including the safety net of I can always come back. It was a delusion of my alcoholism that had to be smashed!

2granddaughters · 08-17-2012, 06:35 AM

You will become aware that it is far easier to "stay" than to "come back". A hard lesson for an alcoholic of my sort.

All the best..

Bob R

bbthumper · 08-17-2012, 06:45 AM

Bob took the words out of my mouth. Staying is so much easier than coming back. The key is to not only attend the meetings, but do what is suggested in the book and by the sober members at those meetings. Action is the key word. Youre on the right track. Keep it up.

sugarbear1 · 08-17-2012, 07:51 AM

You aren't alone. I started AA in 1986. I have 15 months and one day today.

I hope you find a sponsor who really understands the step process!

Keep Coming Back!

CarolD · 08-17-2012, 08:01 AM

Welcome back....

The Steps were vital for me to go from often shakey
sobriety into solid recovery....

Hope this is your time for lasting recovery

Justfor1 · 08-17-2012, 09:13 AM

I attended AA meetings my first few years intoxicated most of the time. I went for the free coffee and donuts they sometimes had. I don't it helped much because I would not be able to remember anything good I heard. Now I been sober over 1year minus 2 days and see things more clearly.

IndaMiricale · 08-17-2012, 03:43 PM

It is beautiful that "we" have somewhere to go if "we" make those slips. Welcomed back home, not beat , looked down, ect....

So glad your back home.

Like all have said already, its easier to stay then come back. Plus you might not even get the option if there were to be a next time.

Db1105 · 08-17-2012, 05:45 PM

I watched a friend struggle for 30 years bouncing in and out. All I know is that it's a lot easier to stay sober than it is to get sober.

lizak · 08-18-2012, 12:19 AM

Thanks y'all. TBH if I didn't have to, like, shower and eat and stuff I probably would just stay all the time.

But it's still summer here and in deference to the common welfare, I go home and shower and then come back, lol.

. . . I'm struggle with a few co-morbidities and finally got the buts* up to call Hazeldon tonight to request contact re: their scholarship programs.

*Typo. I like it. Gonna leave it.

chrissyburgess · 08-20-2012, 07:16 PM

honey praying does a great deal and if you are ready it will not be hard to be willing.Have you ever tried a sponsor and working the steps i was out there 30 years did everything you can think of i pray you get this and congrats on your 2 days hang in there sweety

08-16-2012, 10:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
lizak Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 10	keepcomingbackkeepcomingbackkeepcomingback I've been in and out of the fellowships for over 22 years, more out than in. As a general rule I'd relapse long and hard and low and through a combination of shame and chemical blinders I didn't go back for months, years, a decade. I hope I have a better chance this time. . . when I really went out (using and boozing) I went out for 5 days. But I came back. I have to meetings even when I have failed to acheive even 24 hours' sobriety. I've been back for a 33 days this time and while I haven't been sober the whole time, I'm managing to string together a couple, 4, 5 days at a time. I am talking to the ceiling a lot more, too. I find The Ceiling is more receptable to me when I pray to it more than the minimum requisite "upon waking and before hitting the pillow." Obviously there is so much more to be done than hitting multiple meetings a day and talking to the ceiling at random and frequent intervals. But I did find that hitting at least 2 (often 3) meetings a day has done wonders for my HP awareness. And it is one step at a time, right? One day at a time? In 1 minute I will have my 2 day anniversary. And I will keepcomingbackkeepcomingbackkeepcomingback for letting me share.

08-17-2012, 06:35 AM	#3 (permalink)
2granddaughters in my 24th year of sobriety Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get Posts: 4,532	You will become aware that it is far easier to "stay" than to "come back". A hard lesson for an alcoholic of my sort. All the best.. Bob R __________________ . . .If you want to drink, that's your business ..... .If you want to quit, that's A.A.'s business. . . --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. . . L.D. 1989

08-17-2012, 06:45 AM	#4 (permalink)
bbthumper Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Cleveland, OH Posts: 1,152	Bob took the words out of my mouth. Staying is so much easier than coming back. The key is to not only attend the meetings, but do what is suggested in the book and by the sober members at those meetings. Action is the key word. Youre on the right track. Keep it up. __________________ *~BBThumper* ~All Big Book Quotes from the 1st edition A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. C. S. Lewis

08-17-2012, 07:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
sugarbear1 ~sb Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: MD Posts: 9,867	You aren't alone. I started AA in 1986. I have 15 months and one day today. I hope you find a sponsor who really understands the step process! Keep Coming Back! __________________ Someday everything will all make sense. For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears, & remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. All Big Book quotes are from the first edition. Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

08-17-2012, 08:01 AM	#6 (permalink)
CarolD Forward we go...side by side Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 37,601	Welcome back.... The Steps were vital for me to go from often shakey sobriety into solid recovery.... Hope this is your time for lasting recovery __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

08-17-2012, 05:28 AM	#2 (permalink)
Route164 Member Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 68	Welcome back ! A "chronic relapser" for 13 years, in and out ... 60 days , out, 45 and so on ... " staying" is more important than "keep coming back" to me. Keep coming back is a but misleading. It implies I have the choice in whether I come back or not. I learned in my last relapse I have no choice, I have a better shot if I stay than rely on my old train of thinking "well, I can always come back." Having lost the power of choice, suffering from a malady in which I could actually forget why I have to come back (stay clean and sober) ... I have to give it all to God and concede to my inner most self I am powerless, including the safety net of I can always come back. It was a delusion of my alcoholism that had to be smashed!

08-17-2012, 09:13 AM	#7 (permalink)
Justfor1 Member Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Midwest USA Posts: 2,164	I attended AA meetings my first few years intoxicated most of the time. I went for the free coffee and donuts they sometimes had. I don't it helped much because I would not be able to remember anything good I heard. Now I been sober over 1year minus 2 days and see things more clearly.

08-17-2012, 03:43 PM	#8 (permalink)
IndaMiricale Powerless over Alcohol Join Date: May 2011 Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny! Posts: 4,020	It is beautiful that "we" have somewhere to go if "we" make those slips. Welcomed back home, not beat , looked down, ect.... So glad your back home. Like all have said already, its easier to stay then come back. Plus you might not even get the option if there were to be a next time. __________________ "The only real thing in life are dreams, which nature cant touch with decay." Bob Dylan "Each day,somewhere in the world ,recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic , sharing experience,strength and hope."

08-17-2012, 05:45 PM	#9 (permalink)
Db1105 Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: De Posts: 631	I watched a friend struggle for 30 years bouncing in and out. All I know is that it's a lot easier to stay sober than it is to get sober.

08-18-2012, 12:19 AM	#10 (permalink)
lizak Member Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 10	Thanks y'all. TBH if I didn't have to, like, shower and eat and stuff I probably would just stay all the time. But it's still summer here and in deference to the common welfare, I go home and shower and then come back, lol. . . . I'm struggle with a few co-morbidities and finally got the buts* up to call Hazeldon tonight to request contact re: their scholarship programs. *Typo. I like it. Gonna leave it.

08-20-2012, 07:16 PM	#11 (permalink)
chrissyburgess Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: columbus ohio Posts: 5	honey praying does a great deal and if you are ready it will not be hard to be willing.Have you ever tried a sponsor and working the steps i was out there 30 years did everything you can think of i pray you get this and congrats on your 2 days hang in there sweety

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