Refusing Recovery

[Veritas1]

Why would someone refuse recovery?

Why refuse the pot of gold?

Why, after knowing all that people that have recovered using the AA program have...would anyone exposed to the AA program, say, no thanks, I am still going to do it my way?

Fear of change? Fear of people and relationships?

Unwillingness to let go of lifestyle and crutches to cope?

Old ideas?

Defiance?

Powerlessness?

What makes a person refuse recovery?

[UpperbucksAAguy]

There are two types of people sitting in a meeting that require a spiritual awakening:

Those that are ready

Those that aren't

[Justfor1]

The disease of addiction is why some people choose not to seek recovery. Sadly, I believe some people know they are dieing from alcoholism & continue to drink. It is there right to do that & forcing recovery on someone never works.

[Veritas1]

Is it that they hear others that have overcome and have changed their life, but have either tried that themselves and it didn't happen, or they don't on some core level believe that it really would be worth it...they don't really believe that their life could really be extraordinary.

(comparing and assuming no matter what they do, it won't ever be the way they want for it to be, or it could have been, etc.)

Have they given up, and settled for the only life they know or can imagine.

[Zee]

Are you talking about AA specifically or just people not wanting detox/rehab?
I have nearly a year now, I have liver disease. I just stopped and stayed stopped. When I was in hospital last year, nobody offered me any help, support or programme. Would I have taken it if they had? Not sure (I was bedbound, very ill and grumpy). I found SR when I was 6 months sober, and I have found it very very helpful in my continuing sobriety. I learn from everyone here, I have read numerous quotes from the BB posted here and I also visit the secular department. Its all knowledge and understanding as far as I'm concerned. I differs from person to person. I reached my bottom and I did something about it, many don't.

[Veritas1]

I'm talking about me.

[BackToSquareOne]

Here's an old thread I started trying to explore that topic.


http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...iving+sobriety (On Quitting Sobriety)

[Zee]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh I see... haha! My bad!
Take it from me... try not to hit your bottom... its not a nice place.
I always try to think of the lows of drinking, not the highs. I'm also still at a stage when I prefer monday mornings to friday nights (jealous of the times when I had fun maybe?)... so, I still have a long way to go.

[Route164]

WhO cares to complete to admit defeat.

I came to many times only to be staring step one in the face. I literally refused to take help on AAs terms until I was ready, ready to give up ALL my old ways and old thought and analysis and pontificating and excuses and so on ...

Defiance basically.

[tomsteve]

ok, im not that smart. so yer sayin its you that is having a hard time accepting recovery and cant stop drinking?

[2granddaughters]

Originally Posted by Veritas1

Why would someone refuse recovery?

Why refuse the pot of gold?

Why, after knowing all that people that have recovered using the AA program have...would anyone exposed to the AA program, say, no thanks, I am still going to do it my way?

Fear of change? Fear of people and relationships?

Unwillingness to let go of lifestyle and crutches to cope?

Old ideas?

Defiance?

Powerlessness?

What makes a person refuse recovery?

That's the disease of alcoholism....

Why would I drink again when the boss said he would fire me?
Why would I drink again when the wife said she would leave me?
Why would I drink again when the Doctor said that my liver was almost shot?



I have to come to the point where I can surrender to AA

One of the group Leaders in my Recovery Home in '89 saved my life. I didn't want AA either... for many reasons.
He said that, for some of us, recovery in AA was like learning to play the piano for someone who HATED the piano. If I could bring myself to sit at the piano (meeting) for an hour a day and practice what I was told that I would learn to play it whether I wanted to or not. The program got me, I didn't get it.
It worked for me. It's gets easier when you want it (and you will) but it isn't necessary when you come in.

All the best V

Bob

[Tommyh]

I was simply told that if I was not ready to go to any length to take the steps I was wasting good drinking time and to go have at it and get a bellyful


it took drinking to convince me I was a hopeless alcoholic
the AA people tried and failed because they lacked the power to get thru my delusion that I can drink like others or presently may be able too

[Music]

I had too realize alcohol was tbe problem, not the answer.

[RobbyRobot]

Originally Posted by Veritas1

Why would someone refuse recovery?

Why refuse the pot of gold?

Why, after knowing all that people that have recovered using the AA program have...would anyone exposed to the AA program, say, no thanks, I am still going to do it my way?

Fear of change? Fear of people and relationships?

Unwillingness to let go of lifestyle and crutches to cope?

Old ideas?

Defiance?

Powerlessness?

What makes a person refuse recovery?

All the above plays into refusing not just recovery, but also plays into refusing a quality filled life.

We make choices everyday in everyway. There is power in our choices. Choices can also be easily linked with other choices creating a chain of choices. These can be additional linked, creating a whole sphere, an entire world of choices.

In asking why, you won't always get a workable answer, even from yourself. Life is not just about knowledge, life is a doing kinda thing, and so our experiences are where we discover our true worth. You have a wealth of experiences, Veritas, both sober and not.

Make some lasting choices about what is troubling you in your life, both sober and not sober. Follow thru on those choices. Revisit your choices as often as you choose. Stay true to yourself. Be honest. Seek wisdom. Be careful and gentle with yourself. Gather with others of a like mind and spirit. Be helpful and be of service as much as you choose to be for others. Stand and be counted. Rejoice and be thankful for not only the successes in your life, but also for the failures. Love others as you love yourself. I know you're Christian, so relax, and know God loves you.

[shaun00]

Originally Posted by Veritas1

Why would someone refuse recovery?

Why refuse the pot of gold?

Why, after knowing all that people that have recovered using the AA program have...would anyone exposed to the AA program, say, no thanks, I am still going to do it my way?

Fear of change? Fear of people and relationships?

Unwillingness to let go of lifestyle and crutches to cope?

Old ideas?

Defiance?

Powerlessness?

What makes a person refuse recovery?

Ive asked myself this plenty of times.

A friend of mine drank himself to death a few years back, he had plenty of recovery friends, he could see the life's of others blossoming and yet......................

I ask him a good few times, if he wanted help to get back, because he had been sober for a year before the relapse that he just never came back from.

"Im happy like this" he would say......maybe his life seemed the only normal one ?
He point blank refused any help, and i never force it done his throat either.
We spent quite some time together, i don't think he ever got over the lose of all his family, and a career in the police force.

It takes courage to swallow a drastic proposal like the 12 steps and i guess he was all out of it....
Some are just too lost ?...the book tells me the authors opinion and ive never believed it to be the whole story..

[Dee74]

I knew that if I gave myself over to recovery my life would need to change, forever...I resisted that with all my strength for a long long time.

You seem smarter than I was Veritas lol

keep doing the right thing

D

[Veritas1]

Originally Posted by tomsteve

ok, im not that smart. so yer sayin its you that is having a hard time accepting recovery and cant stop drinking?

Yes, it's me.

Day 13

Thank you everyone.

[tomsteve]

Originally Posted by Veritas1

Yes, it's me.

Day 13

Thank you everyone.

thanks for clearin that up and very glad yer back here! i got a lil concerned about ya.
welp, i believe that there are some very good reasons written in "how it works" on why.

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.

At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol-cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power-that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.



pleaseget willing and go to complete,full measures.

it works if ya work it so work it yer worth it! God dont make no junk!

[onlythetruth]

It is important to remember that refusing a particular recovery program is not the same thing as refusing recovery.

[DayTrader]

Originally Posted by RobbyRobot

In asking why, you won't always get a workable answer, even from yourself. Life is not just about knowledge, life is a doing kinda thing,

Make some lasting choices about what is troubling you in your life, both sober and not sober. Follow thru on those choices. Revisit your choices as often as you choose. Stay true to yourself. Be honest. Seek wisdom. Be careful and gentle with yourself. Gather with others of a like mind and spirit. Be helpful and be of service as much as you choose to be for others. Stand and be counted.

I've tried my hand at recovery through knowledge and at times it can work....sort of. Recovery through actions though, that works alllllll the time.

Lack of surrender......lack of true belief in the first step (both halves)......that's what I see as the biggest hindrance.