Powerless Over Alcohol - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

paulokes · 07-27-2012, 05:02 PM

Had a long talk with a friend of mine last night. He has been sober longer than me and around AA a long time. He says he saw something important for the first time.

He always struggled with what we call the physical aspect of this illness. Not having severe withdrawal symptoms and couldn't relate to the idea of loss of control when drinking. Kicked out of home in early twenties for drunkeness and spent years in hostels/ B&B's. But convinced for a long time that he got in a mess with drink because he was kicked out. Couldn't see he was kicked out because of drink.

For me, I quickly recognized the physical when I heard it. I had been experiencing it for years. A few drinks, and I would have to take more. Inevitable I would become out of control once I commenced to drink. Felt this as a physical pull in my body. Years of fear and confusion followed, feeling it but not knowing what it was.

At first, I resented the idea that there was still a lurking danger of those moments of insanity, the Mental twist. Didn't believe that after a long period of sobriety, the idea would come back for me - until it did.

"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic"

So easy to see once you see it, so confusing until. I sat in fear for a while in early AA days - this was a sentence hanging over my head. Knowing that I had the problem, but feeling I was not yet quite the real deal, that this solution wouldn't work for me YET!. Doomed to an inevitable 10 more years of literal hell.

I can't say for sure when acceptance came, but the result was I became willing to take actions that I had so far been unwilling to take. Willing to accept ideas I had so far been unwilling to accept.

Anyone struggling with this, my advice would be TALK, TALK, TALK about your drinking experience as it was on a 1-1 basis. Don't exaggerate it and don't belittle it. Instead of asking if you fit the AA template, ask how the AA template applies to you. Or go out and try some controlled drinking he he

God bless all

P

07-27-2012, 05:02 PM	#1 (permalink)
paulokes Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 89	Powerless Over Alcohol Had a long talk with a friend of mine last night. He has been sober longer than me and around AA a long time. He says he saw something important for the first time. He always struggled with what we call the physical aspect of this illness. Not having severe withdrawal symptoms and couldn't relate to the idea of loss of control when drinking. Kicked out of home in early twenties for drunkeness and spent years in hostels/ B&B's. But convinced for a long time that he got in a mess with drink because he was kicked out. Couldn't see he was kicked out because of drink. For me, I quickly recognized the physical when I heard it. I had been experiencing it for years. A few drinks, and I would have to take more. Inevitable I would become out of control once I commenced to drink. Felt this as a physical pull in my body. Years of fear and confusion followed, feeling it but not knowing what it was. At first, I resented the idea that there was still a lurking danger of those moments of insanity, the Mental twist. Didn't believe that after a long period of sobriety, the idea would come back for me - until it did. "If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic" So easy to see once you see it, so confusing until. I sat in fear for a while in early AA days - this was a sentence hanging over my head. Knowing that I had the problem, but feeling I was not yet quite the real deal, that this solution wouldn't work for me YET!. Doomed to an inevitable 10 more years of literal hell. I can't say for sure when acceptance came, but the result was I became willing to take actions that I had so far been unwilling to take. Willing to accept ideas I had so far been unwilling to accept. Anyone struggling with this, my advice would be TALK, TALK, TALK about your drinking experience as it was on a 1-1 basis. Don't exaggerate it and don't belittle it. Instead of asking if you fit the AA template, ask how the AA template applies to you. Or go out and try some controlled drinking he he God bless all P

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