Stress

[PaperDolls]

I'm stressed to the max. I don't have the time or energy to type out all the details.

I'm trying to pray and remain calm and be positive but the anxiety and tears just keeps coming back.

Mostly it's financial stuff. I'm so far behind. I have medical bills I can't pay among other things. We don't qualify for any type of assistance because we make too much which is such a crock.

I keep telling myself, it is what it is, now move on and find a solution but I find myself paralyzed.

I called in sick today because of a migraine, probably from stress. I can't afford to miss work. I'm feeling sick to my stomach.

I'm just at this point where I don't see anything getting better. I know it will. I know it will. It has to but I'm no convinced I can get through it and remain sane.

I'm not asking for ..... I don't know why I'm trying this. I guess I just need to get it out. I tried calling my sponsor, which I had to talk myself into, and didn't get an answer. She's got family in town and I didn't want to bother her but I know she would welcome my call. I didn't leave a message. I probably should have.

I guess I just need prayers. Please God, help me to remain calm and sane and find a solution. I realize I may have to struggle right now but I don't feel strong enough and I need you.

[changer]

i feel you...prayers headed your way

[UpperbucksAAguy]

Prayers for you dear- hope you guys find a way to get through

[RevivingOphelia]

I'm sorry for all your stress. Financial burdens due to medical care makes me so angry.

I'll be thinking of you and sending you strength, peace and better times.

[aeo1313]

You have my prayers...

I understand money worries. My husband is looking for a teaching job and hasn't found one for fall yet. It's tough and it sucks.

[hypochondriac]

Sorry you're having a hard time Paperdolls. Do you have any financially minded friends who could help out with that side of stuff? Or maybe the bank...? Financial worry can be very frustrating because there is very little we can do about it immediately. It all takes time. Personally I can never make it work out in my head and have to get someone to help me.

I hope you find a solution, but in the mean time try to distract yourself with something calming. *hugs* x

[PaperDolls]

I wish I had the courage to ask someone for financial help. I can't even offer to make a monthly payment right now. We're struggling to afford diapers and formula right now.

I could call my mom but I've borrowed lots from her over the last year and I haven't been able to pay anything back.

I don't think it's fair to ask someone to help me.

Hubby and I are both stressed and it's causing so much tension between us. That doesn't help either.

I can't quit thinking about it. My phone rings throughout the day from bill collectors. I don't answer. I know I should. I did bring myself to call some of them last week but it doesn't make it go away.

I'm worrying myself literally sick. I can't eat. I have headaches. I'm weak.

I can't believe I'm in this place right now and I'm disappointed in myself.

[Lenina]

((((Paper Dolls))))

Sending you my best thoughts. can you check with Catholic Charities or a food bank? At least you'll have food. Some of them also have baby formula and diapers. Can you call the utilities company and see about getting lifeline service?

Love to you from Lenina

[laurie6781]

It might be time to look into filing bankruptcy. At least once that is in
the works any bill collectors can be given the federal filing number and
will stop bugging y'all at all hours between 8am and 9pm. That would
allow your paychecks to go for the necessary things NOW, like keeping
a roof over your heads and things for the baby.

As said above check with Catholic Charities and the Salvation Army, as
SA probably knows where all the food banks are including their own.

If you PM me your exact location I will see what else I can dig up for
you in the way of assistance and aid.

You know, something else I found out over the years, when I have a
problem that is causing me stress, I share it in a meeting like this:

"This is the problem I am having, and this is what I have done so far
to alleviate the stress as I do not want to have King Alcohol sneak
in again."

And every time I would be amazed at how many after the meeting
would come up to me with suggestions, phone numbers, things I
hadn't thought of to do, etc

It wouldn't hurt to try that, as long as you are also sharing your
'solutions' so far.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

[PaperDolls]

Thanks Laurie (and everyone). I filed bankruptcy less than 2 years ago. I don't know if it's an option again.

I will PM you.

[aeo1313]

We filed 2 years ago as well. I think you have to wait 7 years or something. Money issues are so hard on a relationship...

I agree on sharing at a meeting. I got hit by a mack truck Friday and their insurance won't pay so it will be going to litigation. Anyway, turns out there is a guy that owns a body shop and he now has my van. He works with ins companies and I feel like my van is in good hands and that he will be honest with me (may need to be totalled). Also, I'm hoping that he will let me pay my deductable in payment plans.

[GirlFromCO]

Ugh, been there so many times PD. Can you call 211 in your area? Here it connects you with local charities. Don't stress about your bills right now. There's nothing they can do to you - there is no debtor's prison. Just focus on the essentials and don't even think about answering your phone. Just turn that sucker to silent mode. You need rent, utilities, whatever it takes to get you/your husband to and from work, and stuff for your sweet baby. Utilities will work with you, most landlords will too especially since you've got someone new in the family. If you need to move to a cheaper place, do it. Don't worry about the other crap right now.

You can make this work! Just breathe and focus on what you can do right now. Can you sell books? Blood? Stuff on craigslist? A while back I sold houseplant cuttings and made 5$ each. Not much but it will get you a big bag of rice, some diapers, whatever. We all have stuff we can sell for a couple of bucks to get dinner on the table. You are resourceful & tough and can get through anything, how do I know this? Because you've been sober since 2008 and you're someone's Mama. You can do this! Just imagine all those little old ladies who scraped their way through the Great Depression. They had families too. Hugs & prayers for you.

[CarolD]

Sorry to know of your situation....Mega

Prayers for peace going out

[omegasupreme]

Originally Posted by PaperDolls

I'm worrying myself literally sick. I can't eat. I have headaches. I'm weak.

I can't believe I'm in this place right now and I'm disappointed in myself.

I love it! I did this Sunday...not to the point where I was sick, but I had a headache and I did not eat much. On second thought, that sounds sick right? What was it over? It was over guilt and worry, the external situation that brought it about isn't important? Why, because either way it's an inside job. My ego doesn't care what external situation it uses to bring about the internal pain that it can just as "high" off of as if it were a drink or a drug.

I was so asleep to this until chatting with my sponsor Sunday night where he pointed out I was still in step zero on this particular deal. Immediately my sphincter muscle tightened up...how dare he say I am in step zero on something right? Clearly he's forgotten I am the 12 step poster child...and that's exactly what he was saying, he knew what I thought I was...and what I thought I was was someone that was way above the type of behavior I was exhibiting, and if I am way above the type of behavior I am exhibiting how can I be powerless and unmanageable in step 1..and if I am not able to be powerless and unmanageable in step 1 then why would I have to face the proposition that God is either everything or nothing in step 2? Or even be remotely sincere in that 3rd step arrangement where I find a new Employer?

There is a "do not" in the Big Book(first edition)...it says "do not be discouraged." A definition of discouraged is to deprive of courage, hope, or confidence; dishearten; dispirit. Once I see that I am not above this behavior and that I do have some power around it...it boils down to lack of courage being my dilemma...men of faith have courage right? they trust their God! Nothing touches us but what our father wants to touch us right! Charles Bukowski has an interesting write on Raw Spiritual Courage, it always gets me fired up! My sponsor uses it all the time with me...and with himself. Recently, my sponsor was told that he had been diagnosed with cancer, so I asked what his sponsor told him regarding that. He said his sponsor told him, "I got dibs on your guitar then." To be able to laugh at a life and death situation like that and say "Bring it on, nothing touches me but what my Father wants to touch" was amazing to me, absolutely floored...raw spiritual courage. He said Aaron, it's no different than the courage you used when you were going into crack houses making demands, picking fights in bars, etc...it's just pointed in a different direction now.

Spiritus Contra Spiritum is what Jung wrote right? He considered one low level spirits (alcohol/drugs) and the other high level spirits(spiritual experience).

[muvinon]

In new sobriety, financial matters were terribly pressing. I kept trying to address those, would get into paralyzing fear. One day I realized that I really had the cart before the horse. I got a sponsor, started focusing on working the steps. That tapping into a power greater than myself relieved me of the fear on a daily basis and gave me the courage to take the next step that would help.

Focus on your recovery. Then you'll find yourself able to breathe again and will know what the next logical step is to address problems.

I did some really amazing stuff to survive. (For me, anyway.) And I can say I got to the point where even if I'd ended up homeless, I had a plan B ready to go into action. That fear stopped dominating me.

Interesting how the fear is the real issue, not the particulars.

[PaperDolls]

Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond to this.

Even though nothing has changed from yesterday on this, I'm feeling more calm about it. When I pray, I want to be 'fixed' right away .... it doesn't work that way and I know it.

I need to pray to figure out what actions I need to take and them take them.

BTW, I do have a sponsor and have worked the steps. Doesn't mean I don't need to work them again though.

[Tommyh]

pd
i use the same process every time and it works
i sent it to you if you want it
good luck

[bryangt]

Prayers out to you & your family PD. I feel for you and know that feeling of stress and anxiety that invades you at this time. Hopefully everything will work out and 'this too shall pass'...keep praying and stay strong at all costs. God Bless You & Your Family.

[PaperDolls]

Just an update. I still have not won the lottery. Things financially are the same. Today, I'm at more peace with it. Living in the moment and telling myself "I'm right where I'm supposed to be". I HATE that saying ...... but it's true.

It is what it is.

I have lots of things to be grateful for. Positive thinking creates much better results.

[sugarbear1]

If you filed for bankruptcy 2 years ago & have had financial concerns for the last year, isn't there something that can be done? Bill collectors are not to be harassing you with calls. There must be some kind of arrangements you can make with them. Maybe look in your budget and change some things? You'll get through this if you do some footwork!

Hugs & love,