Wait to do steps or not - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

brdlvr · 07-16-2012, 09:13 AM

I'm hearing different things. Temp sponsor says wait to get sober first. Prey, don't drink, go to meetings. Need willingness and acceptance first. Others that I've talked to with alot of years of sobriety disagree - say to start doing them now.

I'm getting kinda discouraged with it all. Thinking just don't have a sponsor at all and either don't do the steps at all and just use AA for fellowship and spirituality and also use AVRT techniques as well. Or work the steps with out having a formal sponsor?

Tommyh · 07-16-2012, 09:32 AM

If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.
sounds like you are ready

bbthumper · 07-16-2012, 09:47 AM

I have never met someone who went through the steps too soon. I have seen many not go through them soon enough and end up drunk.

We cant wait to get better to do the steps. We do the steps and then get better.

If you look at AA history, the co-founders were taking people through the steps in a matter of weeks. The steps are our treatment. Its how we get well. Ever hear diabetics debating whether or not to take their insulin? You get the picture, right?

As mentioned above. You want what we got? You're ready. If your temp sponsor says otherwise, tell him to read the book and find a sponsor who is spiritually awake.

God bless ya!

tomsteve · 07-16-2012, 09:59 AM

temp sponsors are for temp sobriety. stopping drinking doesnt make a person sober. working the steps does. you may want to consider getting one of them folks with long term sobriety to be your sponsor.

Mark75 · 07-16-2012, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brdlvr

Need willingness and acceptance first.

My own experience is that for sincere willingness and peaceful acceptance to come into my life, I needed to take certain steps first...

The fellowship of AA is an even more wonderful thing when you understand and experience the reason for it's existence...

If you are ready and want to do the steps, then go for it, find someone who will help you.

shaun00 · 07-16-2012, 10:52 AM

steps ?.......NOW would be a grand idea .

What do you have to lose ?

***Freedom1990*** · 07-16-2012, 11:14 AM

Back in the days of Bill W. and Dr. Bob, you will find that newcomers were taken through the steps right away. They had a high success rate back then, and I understand why.

While I was in rehab, I had to work the first 8 steps within that 30 day period. I will forever be grateful for that because it set me on the right path. I had to work through the wreckage of my past or I was destined to drink again.

God willing, I will celebrate 22 years clean/sober next month.

UpperbucksAAguy · 07-16-2012, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Temp sponsor says wait to get sober first. Prey, don't drink, go to meetings. Need willingness and acceptance first.

If you are ready to get into the steps and you sponsor is standing in the way get a new sponsor.

I have met people who got into the steps too soon ( Settle down people!) If you are being pushed and prodded by a sponsor to get into the steps and you are hesitant then it may be too soon ( nowhere in the Big Book does it suggest we poke or prod people although many in AA do this and defend it as an act of love)

But:

Nowhere in the Big Book ( which is where the program of AA is found) does it say hurry up and wait.

Quote:

Temp sponsor says wait to get sober first. Prey, don't drink, go to meetings. Need willingness and acceptance first.

Are you capable of just not drinking? I came to AA because I could not accomplish this, when people told me that I literally thought this was one more thing I was going to fail at.

If you are ready- go. If you are hesitant- ask for the willingness. If praying to God is not something you can do- ask people, but check what they are saying against the Big Book. If you do not like the Big Book, why be in AA?

brdlvr · 07-16-2012, 01:04 PM

Thx everyone. Seems unanimous..get to workin on those steps now

***PaperDolls*** · 07-16-2012, 01:15 PM

Yes brdlvr. I agree with the rest of the crowd here, get to work!

I recommend working them with a sponsor. I would have NEVER made it through them without my sponsor!

bobdylan45 · 07-16-2012, 01:17 PM

Hey take your time only you can do the steps when you are ready , but don't leave it to late (Keep it Simple) AA Member 25yrs sober Sept ,God Bless

sugarbear1 · 07-16-2012, 03:10 PM

I needed a new solution or I was about to drink, so I worked the steps.

It's a personal journey....

I say work 'em!

keithj · 07-16-2012, 06:05 PM

Good Lord, these are the people that kill others in AA. Yes, I'm incredibly opinionated about this. When someone walks into the rooms needing help, why on heaven or earth would we suggest they not take the Steps that have saved our own lives? What are they waiting for?

If I could get and stay sober without taking the Steps, there is no reason for me to be a member of AA. The Steps are precisely how to go from hopeless chronic alcoholic to recovered alcoholic. There is no reason to wait.

Db1105 · 07-16-2012, 06:40 PM

If you want to learn how to play the piano, you don't wait till you feel you're ready. You practice, practice, practice. It's the same thing with getting sober in AA, you practice, practice, practice the 2 steps.

freya · 07-16-2012, 06:59 PM

One might get 'dry' without doing the Steps, but one does not get 'sober.'

Whenever people ask me this question in RL (which, unfortunately, is fairly frequently), my answer is: Well, that depends on how free you want to be and on how quickly you want to be free.

For myself, I kinda have always wanted to be as free as possible as quickly as possible, so that meant doing the Steps as well as I could as quickly as I could without being less than as thorough and as honest as I could.

freya

MalkavianEmily · 07-17-2012, 01:51 AM

I'm still trying to find the courage to ask someone to be my sponsor, although there is a certain amount of not knowing who to ask in there too. So, at the moment, I'm still struggling with step 1. [sigh] I'm a really slow learner, it seems.
So yes, I'd say it wasn't a good idea to wait to do the steps.

muvinon · 07-17-2012, 03:52 AM

I can only share what I did. The first 30 days, I did 5 simple things, because that was all I could handle.

I prayed.
I went to meetings (daily for me)
I read the Big Book (2 paragraphs.....all I could manage)
I hung out with sober people.
I did not drink.

After 30 days, the fear began to dominate me. I got a sponsor then, and we proceeded to work the steps promptly. We did not dawdle, and I was capable at that point of doing the work thoroughly.

I have no idea what is best for you or anyone else.

Charmie · 07-17-2012, 05:13 AM

i didnt have the power to just not drink...many people have the misconception that "powerless over alcohol" means after we put it in our system and set up the allergy/craving and we cant stop once we start...there are many folks like that in AA....im not one of them...im powerless over alcohol before i drink...im powerless over the thought...once that idea comes in, i am going to drink whether i want to or not....and un-recovered the time and place is going to come...i am going to drink against my will.
i was asked two questions to find out whether i needed the steps or not....
if when i really want to i find i cannot quit entirely,or if when drinking i have little or no control over the amount i take....is that you?
if so then you are like me...powerless...whats the answer to that? we need power...and that my friend is what you find in the steps.

RobbyRobot · 07-17-2012, 05:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charmie

i didnt have the power to just not drink...many people have the misconception that "powerless over alcohol" means after we put it in our system and set up the allergy/craving and we cant stop once we start...there are many folks like that in AA....im not one of them...im powerless over alcohol before i drink...im powerless over the thought...once that idea comes in, i am going to drink whether i want to or not....and un-recovered the time and place is going to come...i am going to drink against my will.
i was asked two questions to find out whether i needed the steps or not....
if when i really want to i find i cannot quit entirely,or if when drinking i have little or no control over the amount i take....is that you?
if so then you are like me...powerless...whats the answer to that? we need power...and that my friend is what you find in the steps.

I strongly agree with Charmie, although I would say I was, and still am, powerless over my alcoholism, not alcohol. And more so, my alcoholism took away my ability to live a life of power... alcoholism literally sucked the life out of me. I was powerless to manage my own life too. My drinking was but a symptom of my illness. Alcohol was simply the unique rare key which opened the gates of my alcoholism.

With alcoholism, waiting to work the steps is like waiting to put out a fire in your own house. Act swiftly, or it all burns to the ground eventually. Working the steps brings immediate relief... it all starts with Step 1... and just gets better with each step progressively.

For me, I was working Step 1 the same day I went to my first meeting, and I knew it... all I was required to do was accept AA's definition for alcoholism to begin my working the 12 Step program solution to that same alcoholism. It starts with surrender, and born from the ashes of surrender comes victory. We can never have victory too soon.

Awesome thread.

Charmie · 07-17-2012, 06:31 AM

agree wholeheartedly robbie...booze was but a symptom of what ails me.....

07-16-2012, 09:13 AM	#1 (permalink)
brdlvr Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 207	Wait to do steps or not I'm hearing different things. Temp sponsor says wait to get sober first. Prey, don't drink, go to meetings. Need willingness and acceptance first. Others that I've talked to with alot of years of sobriety disagree - say to start doing them now. I'm getting kinda discouraged with it all. Thinking just don't have a sponsor at all and either don't do the steps at all and just use AA for fellowship and spirituality and also use AVRT techniques as well. Or work the steps with out having a formal sponsor?

07-16-2012, 09:47 AM	#3 (permalink)
bbthumper Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Cleveland, OH Posts: 1,135	I have never met someone who went through the steps too soon. I have seen many not go through them soon enough and end up drunk. We cant wait to get better to do the steps. We do the steps and then get better. If you look at AA history, the co-founders were taking people through the steps in a matter of weeks. The steps are our treatment. Its how we get well. Ever hear diabetics debating whether or not to take their insulin? You get the picture, right? As mentioned above. You want what we got? You're ready. If your temp sponsor says otherwise, tell him to read the book and find a sponsor who is spiritually awake. God bless ya! __________________ *~BBThumper* ~All Big Book Quotes from the 1st edition A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. C. S. Lewis

07-16-2012, 09:59 AM	#4 (permalink)
tomsteve Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: northern michigan. not the U.P. Posts: 2,806	temp sponsors are for temp sobriety. stopping drinking doesnt make a person sober. working the steps does. you may want to consider getting one of them folks with long term sobriety to be your sponsor. __________________ all big book quotes from 1st edition

07-16-2012, 11:14 AM	#7 (permalink)
*Freedom1990* Community Greeter Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Kansas Posts: 10,058	Back in the days of Bill W. and Dr. Bob, you will find that newcomers were taken through the steps right away. They had a high success rate back then, and I understand why. While I was in rehab, I had to work the first 8 steps within that 30 day period. I will forever be grateful for that because it set me on the right path. I had to work through the wreckage of my past or I was destined to drink again. God willing, I will celebrate 22 years clean/sober next month. __________________ DeVon & the Zoo Crew ‎An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it. --Orlando A. Battista

07-16-2012, 01:15 PM	#10 (permalink)
*PaperDolls* Community Greeter Join Date: May 2004 Location: Midwest Posts: 7,744 Blog Entries: 10	Yes brdlvr. I agree with the rest of the crowd here, get to work! I recommend working them with a sponsor. I would have NEVER made it through them without my sponsor! __________________ Advice is like snow; the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. --Samuel T. Coleridg

07-16-2012, 09:32 AM	#2 (permalink)
Tommyh Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 18,947	If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps. sounds like you are ready

07-16-2012, 10:52 AM	#6 (permalink)
shaun00 Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: uk Posts: 2,503	steps ?.......NOW would be a grand idea . What do you have to lose ?

07-16-2012, 01:04 PM	#9 (permalink)
brdlvr Member Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 207	Thx everyone. Seems unanimous..get to workin on those steps now

07-16-2012, 01:17 PM	#11 (permalink)
bobdylan45 Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: hertfordshire Posts: 24	Hey take your time only you can do the steps when you are ready , but don't leave it to late (Keep it Simple) AA Member 25yrs sober Sept ,God Bless

07-16-2012, 03:10 PM	#12 (permalink)
sugarbear1 ~sb Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: MD Posts: 9,754	I needed a new solution or I was about to drink, so I worked the steps. It's a personal journey.... I say work 'em! __________________ Someday everything will all make sense. For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears, & remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. All Big Book quotes are from the first edition. Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

07-16-2012, 06:05 PM	#13 (permalink)
keithj Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 2,763	Good Lord, these are the people that kill others in AA. Yes, I'm incredibly opinionated about this. When someone walks into the rooms needing help, why on heaven or earth would we suggest they not take the Steps that have saved our own lives? What are they waiting for? If I could get and stay sober without taking the Steps, there is no reason for me to be a member of AA. The Steps are precisely how to go from hopeless chronic alcoholic to recovered alcoholic. There is no reason to wait.

07-16-2012, 06:40 PM	#14 (permalink)
Db1105 Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: De Posts: 610	If you want to learn how to play the piano, you don't wait till you feel you're ready. You practice, practice, practice. It's the same thing with getting sober in AA, you practice, practice, practice the 2 steps.

07-16-2012, 06:59 PM	#15 (permalink)
freya Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Upstate New York Posts: 1,597	One might get 'dry' without doing the Steps, but one does not get 'sober.' Whenever people ask me this question in RL (which, unfortunately, is fairly frequently), my answer is: Well, that depends on how free you want to be and on how quickly you want to be free. For myself, I kinda have always wanted to be as free as possible as quickly as possible, so that meant doing the Steps as well as I could as quickly as I could without being less than as thorough and as honest as I could. freya __________________ *Working the Steps isn't about me acquiring power; working the Steps is about removing the things that block me from being a channel for God's Power.*

07-17-2012, 01:51 AM	#16 (permalink)
MalkavianEmily Member Join Date: May 2012 Location: London, England Posts: 675	I'm still trying to find the courage to ask someone to be my sponsor, although there is a certain amount of not knowing who to ask in there too. So, at the moment, I'm still struggling with step 1. [sigh] I'm a really slow learner, it seems. So yes, I'd say it wasn't a good idea to wait to do the steps.

07-17-2012, 03:52 AM	#17 (permalink)
muvinon Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Houston Texas Posts: 504	I can only share what I did. The first 30 days, I did 5 simple things, because that was all I could handle. I prayed. I went to meetings (daily for me) I read the Big Book (2 paragraphs.....all I could manage) I hung out with sober people. I did not drink. After 30 days, the fear began to dominate me. I got a sponsor then, and we proceeded to work the steps promptly. We did not dawdle, and I was capable at that point of doing the work thoroughly. I have no idea what is best for you or anyone else.

07-17-2012, 05:13 AM	#18 (permalink)
Charmie Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: scotland Posts: 1,447	i didnt have the power to just not drink...many people have the misconception that "powerless over alcohol" means after we put it in our system and set up the allergy/craving and we cant stop once we start...there are many folks like that in AA....im not one of them...im powerless over alcohol before i drink...im powerless over the thought...once that idea comes in, i am going to drink whether i want to or not....and un-recovered the time and place is going to come...i am going to drink against my will. i was asked two questions to find out whether i needed the steps or not.... if when i really want to i find i cannot quit entirely,or if when drinking i have little or no control over the amount i take....is that you? if so then you are like me...powerless...whats the answer to that? we need power...and that my friend is what you find in the steps. __________________ Rarely have we seen a person fail,that has thoroughly followed our path....... BB-1st. Edition.

07-17-2012, 06:31 AM	#20 (permalink)
Charmie Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: scotland Posts: 1,447	agree wholeheartedly robbie...booze was but a symptom of what ails me..... __________________ Rarely have we seen a person fail,that has thoroughly followed our path....... BB-1st. Edition.

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