sisterhood? please? new to AA? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

iamtoru · 07-01-2012, 04:40 PM

First of all, you guys are awesome! Thanks for the support you've given me over the past two weeks. Such a blessing!

I'm new to AA and I'm having a hard time meeting women I'd like to meet (ie women who are enthusiastic about the program). I do try and get to meetings early and talk to someone (female) but, for whatever reason, the last few times I've done this it's been with women who admitted to not being all that into the program so am a little frustrated! I'm not often able to hang around after meetings due to other commitments and I am new, so am thinking I just need to give it more time? Having said that, I have had quite a few guys come up to me and introduce themselves and/or congratulate me for coming back, which is cool, just really missing women right now!

ChasingJme03 · 07-01-2012, 04:51 PM

I have the same fear. I will be attending an AA meeting next week for the first time. If you ever want some sisterhood on here, you can add me. WE CAN DO THIS. I think my fear is that I am a young girl and my room will be filled with old men. There is nothing wrong with that but I would like to make connections with women as well.

CarolD · 07-01-2012, 05:30 PM

To find women and men who may be taking AA seriously....
I suggest Step Meetings.
Why? the Steps are the program...

CarolD · 07-01-2012, 05:38 PM

CJ...
why not attend a womens meeting if you are concerened?
You can always branch out later if you wish...

Here is a link about AA meetings that might be useful

Your First AA Meeting<

Taking5 · 07-01-2012, 06:05 PM

Here is a SF meeting guide. Search for "WO" for women's only meetings.

http://www.aasf.org/schedule2PDFvFinal.cfr?getRegion=sf

iamtoru · 07-01-2012, 11:02 PM

Thanks guys. I went to a second meeting tonight, and it was great! I met two women and got a number! Thanks guys. I'm going to try a women's meeting tomorrow and see if that helps. I will also try and find more step study meetings. You guys are so awesome!

2granddaughters · 07-02-2012, 05:44 AM

Excellent, somewhere it says "Seek... and ye shall find". You proved that adage right.

All the best.

Bob R

***PaperDolls*** · 07-02-2012, 08:51 AM

Great suggestions here.

You'll often meet people (men & women) who aren't really that into the program. It's just how it goes sometimes. It doesn't mean they're bad people or that they can't enhance your recovery even. I will say though, that since you're new, it's great that you're trying to stick with women who are actually working the program. Good stuff!!

CaiHong · 07-02-2012, 07:04 PM

Hi Iamtoru,

glad to hear you found a meeting that works for you. I now realize the importance of finding people who are serious about recovery and it's great that you have realized this early on.

love
caiHong

Lily · 07-02-2012, 08:05 PM

hello Iamtoru!

I used to go to a lot of open discussion meetings, but what I found was when I go to Big Book meetings and Step meetings, the people I meet there (many of them) are a little more serious about their recovery.

Blessings, Lily

DayTrader · 07-03-2012, 09:19 PM

Finding "people" who are really committed to the program, the steps, the book, etc can be difficult......male OR female. For the men, the task is a bit easier as there are sooooo many more men in AA then womer - bigger pond to fish in.

The female friends I have in AA have had similar difficulties to what you described IMTORU. I'll tell ya this though......KEEP SEARCHING. They're out there. Part of our job in sobriety is to find them. It took me a year and a half to find ONE meeting that I really liked - one with members that mostly had plenty that I wanted. (I can't drive so that made it a bit more difficult). That's the way it goes though... some parts come easy, others we have to put some real work into.

Strong solid AA folks are out there........keep looking and you'll find em.

iamtoru · 07-03-2012, 11:15 PM

Thanks guys. You have given me so much to think about! I will keep searching, and I will make more of an effort to BB and step meetings. Bless you all!!!!

muvinon · 07-04-2012, 03:42 AM

My experience is that there are simply fewer women than men in AA. My first meeting was like walking into a locker room. lol*

Keep coming back. The great women I've now met are in meetings, and I had to meet them one at a time. One thing I'm doing is going to women's retreats here. That's the best way I know to really get to know people better.

CaiHong · 07-04-2012, 04:04 PM

Hi iamtoru

I have just arrived in Vietnam,(I am opening a cafe here)a few days ago and attended a meeting in a nearby town. Only 3 members but one of them is a women my age, we went for coffee after the meeting and I haven' enjoyed a chat so much in such a long time. She is 13 years sober and the guys have 37 and 10 years up. I felt so comfortable in this meeting. Stong AA people.
I am meeting her today for lunch in this town as she has to come her 3 times a week for work.
I can't believe my luck.
love
CaiHong

Tres · 07-04-2012, 06:58 PM

I was able to find women's meetings near by. What a blessing. I went the first time scared and nervous. I left that day with strength and about 50 numbers. Also a sponser.

I understand how you feel about needing other strong women around you. We are empowering.

newby1961 · 07-05-2012, 11:16 PM

iamtrou,

Not sure what part of the world you are in but I live on the West Coast and there are some awesome women meetings here. I will admit though it took me a few years to want to even go to any of them lol.

I love peeps that are jacked about recovery because I got into recovery to be happy not miserable. Although sometimes you have to ride the wave out because its not always peaches & cream.

Have an awesome night all.

07-01-2012, 04:40 PM	#1 (permalink)
iamtoru Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 30	sisterhood? please? new to AA? First of all, you guys are awesome! Thanks for the support you've given me over the past two weeks. Such a blessing! I'm new to AA and I'm having a hard time meeting women I'd like to meet (ie women who are enthusiastic about the program). I do try and get to meetings early and talk to someone (female) but, for whatever reason, the last few times I've done this it's been with women who admitted to not being all that into the program so am a little frustrated! I'm not often able to hang around after meetings due to other commitments and I am new, so am thinking I just need to give it more time? Having said that, I have had quite a few guys come up to me and introduce themselves and/or congratulate me for coming back, which is cool, just really missing women right now!

07-01-2012, 04:51 PM	#2 (permalink)
ChasingJme03 Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Michigan Posts: 64	I have the same fear. I will be attending an AA meeting next week for the first time. If you ever want some sisterhood on here, you can add me. WE CAN DO THIS. I think my fear is that I am a young girl and my room will be filled with old men. There is nothing wrong with that but I would like to make connections with women as well. __________________ I drank for sleep and woke up tired. I drank for strength and felt weak. I drank for relaxation and got the shakes. I drank to make conversation easier and slurred my speech. I drank to feel heavenly and ended up feeling like hell. - Author Unknown

07-01-2012, 05:30 PM	#3 (permalink)
CarolD Forward we go...side by side Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 37,601	To find women and men who may be taking AA seriously.... I suggest Step Meetings. Why? the Steps are the program... __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

07-01-2012, 05:38 PM	#4 (permalink)
CarolD Forward we go...side by side Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie Posts: 37,601	CJ... why not attend a womens meeting if you are concerened? You can always branch out later if you wish... Here is a link about AA meetings that might be useful Your First AA Meeting< __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!

07-01-2012, 06:05 PM	#5 (permalink)
Taking5 Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: LA - Lower Alabama Posts: 4,245	Here is a SF meeting guide. Search for "WO" for women's only meetings. http://www.aasf.org/schedule2PDFvFinal.cfr?getRegion=sf __________________ It is easier to practice total abstinence than perfect moderation _______________________________________ Any quotes from the big book of AA are from the first edition, or are otherwise exempt from copyright infringement under the "fair use doctrine".

07-01-2012, 11:02 PM	#6 (permalink)
iamtoru Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 30	once again, thanks! Thanks guys. I went to a second meeting tonight, and it was great! I met two women and got a number! Thanks guys. I'm going to try a women's meeting tomorrow and see if that helps. I will also try and find more step study meetings. You guys are so awesome!

07-02-2012, 05:44 AM	#7 (permalink)
2granddaughters in my 24th year of sobriety Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get Posts: 4,396	Excellent, somewhere it says "Seek... and ye shall find". You proved that adage right. All the best. Bob R __________________ . . .If you want to drink, that's your business ..... .If you want to quit, that's A.A.'s business. . . --- driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity. . . L.D. 1989

07-02-2012, 08:51 AM	#8 (permalink)
*PaperDolls* Community Greeter Join Date: May 2004 Location: Midwest Posts: 7,794 Blog Entries: 10	Great suggestions here. You'll often meet people (men & women) who aren't really that into the program. It's just how it goes sometimes. It doesn't mean they're bad people or that they can't enhance your recovery even. I will say though, that since you're new, it's great that you're trying to stick with women who are actually working the program. Good stuff!! __________________ Advice is like snow; the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. --Samuel T. Coleridg

07-02-2012, 07:04 PM	#9 (permalink)
CaiHong Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 1,749	Hi Iamtoru, glad to hear you found a meeting that works for you. I now realize the importance of finding people who are serious about recovery and it's great that you have realized this early on. love caiHong

07-02-2012, 08:05 PM	#10 (permalink)
Lily Grateful Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Midwest Posts: 2,504 Blog Entries: 11	hello Iamtoru! I used to go to a lot of open discussion meetings, but what I found was when I go to Big Book meetings and Step meetings, the people I meet there (many of them) are a little more serious about their recovery. Blessings, Lily

07-03-2012, 09:19 PM	#11 (permalink)
DayTrader 12-Step Recovered Alcoholic Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 4,672	Finding "people" who are really committed to the program, the steps, the book, etc can be difficult......male OR female. For the men, the task is a bit easier as there are sooooo many more men in AA then womer - bigger pond to fish in. The female friends I have in AA have had similar difficulties to what you described IMTORU. I'll tell ya this though......KEEP SEARCHING. They're out there. Part of our job in sobriety is to find them. It took me a year and a half to find ONE meeting that I really liked - one with members that mostly had plenty that I wanted. (I can't drive so that made it a bit more difficult). That's the way it goes though... some parts come easy, others we have to put some real work into. Strong solid AA folks are out there........keep looking and you'll find em. __________________ "We can't solve our problems using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." - Albert Einstein /-all BB quotes-1st. Edition-\

07-03-2012, 11:15 PM	#12 (permalink)
iamtoru Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 30	Thanks guys. You have given me so much to think about! I will keep searching, and I will make more of an effort to BB and step meetings. Bless you all!!!!

07-04-2012, 03:42 AM	#13 (permalink)
muvinon Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Houston Texas Posts: 514	My experience is that there are simply fewer women than men in AA. My first meeting was like walking into a locker room. lol* Keep coming back. The great women I've now met are in meetings, and I had to meet them one at a time. One thing I'm doing is going to women's retreats here. That's the best way I know to really get to know people better.

07-04-2012, 04:04 PM	#14 (permalink)
CaiHong Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 1,749	Hi iamtoru I have just arrived in Vietnam,(I am opening a cafe here)a few days ago and attended a meeting in a nearby town. Only 3 members but one of them is a women my age, we went for coffee after the meeting and I haven' enjoyed a chat so much in such a long time. She is 13 years sober and the guys have 37 and 10 years up. I felt so comfortable in this meeting. Stong AA people. I am meeting her today for lunch in this town as she has to come her 3 times a week for work. I can't believe my luck. love CaiHong

07-04-2012, 06:58 PM	#15 (permalink)
Tres Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: FL Posts: 895	I was able to find women's meetings near by. What a blessing. I went the first time scared and nervous. I left that day with strength and about 50 numbers. Also a sponser. I understand how you feel about needing other strong women around you. We are empowering.

07-05-2012, 11:16 PM	#16 (permalink)
newby1961 Trudging that road. Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Seattle Wa Posts: 6,821 Blog Entries: 1	iamtrou, Not sure what part of the world you are in but I live on the West Coast and there are some awesome women meetings here. I will admit though it took me a few years to want to even go to any of them lol. I love peeps that are jacked about recovery because I got into recovery to be happy not miserable. Although sometimes you have to ride the wave out because its not always peaches & cream. Have an awesome night all.

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)