Should I Tell Fellow AA Members????

[Justfor1]

I had been sober since Sept & recently had a 1 day slip. I told my old sponser & thinking about telling my therapist this week. I can't tell my psych doctor because then she might cut off my "emergency" anxiety medication. Should I tell fellow AA members about my slip??? I don't want to because I recently started seeing someone who is in a sober recovery house. Also, I feel like some members may look down upon me for hitting the bottle. Amazingly, I was able to hold the relapse to one day. Probably because I needed to drive the next evening & wouldn't of been able to start my car because I have this horrible alcohol machine installed in my car.

[bluoval]

What did your sponsor suggest you do?

[Gavinandnikki]

If you believe in and consider yourself an AA member, yes you should confess to your slip and pick up a 24 chip.

Pam

[UpperbucksAAguy]

None of us here are qualified to tell you what you should do, and if the only reason you would do it is because your sponsor tells you to that is a shame. I can tell you that I would do let people know I relapsed. For several reasons:

1. It may help someone ( help comes in many forms in AA)
2. It identifies me as someone who needs help ( can tie directly into #1)

[AW2486]

Last time I looked, Honesty is a pretty important requirement for my sobriety.

[24hrsAday]

Originally Posted by AW2486

Last time I looked, Honesty is a pretty important requirement for my sobriety.

^ Honesty comes first for me Just..

[sugarbear1]

What would be the point of not telling them?

[Mark75]

Maybe that interlock thing isn't really so horrible at all, huh? It did it's job and more... Kept your relapse to one day.

Get recovered, you'll know instinctively what the right thing to do is.

[laurie6781]

Just, we are only as sick as our SECRETS.

That is one SECRET that will BOOMERANG on you and turn around and
come back to BITE YOU IN THE AZZ BIG TIME.

HONESTY is the CORE of the AA Program.

Your DECISION on this one will give a good indication just how serious
you are about recovery.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

[Tommyh]

just,my first year at AA I had plenty of slips.I made a decision to not pick up a white chip until I was ready to do the steps.
The day came and I picked up that chip,my last white chip.
I was fortunate to live to that day.

you have to live inside your skin and look at your self in the mirror each day.

[muvinon]

Of course, you should be honest with your group. No brainer here.

[stairs]

Well yeah because if you keep it a secret and go around pretending to have this continuous sobriety that you don't really have, won't that cause a sort of rift in your feelings toward being in the group which could result in you feeling like you are not in the group which might end up with you ceasing attendance?
I guess you could find another group but....it seems easier just to talk about it without apologizing and move forward from here in your sobriety journey.

[Dee74]

The very fact you posted here Just tells me you know it's time to change the way you've done things all these years.

Keeping secrets, and keeping them out of fear, is one hell of a big bolt hole for your addiction to hide in.

To me, it's ultimately in your best interests to tell your sponsor and your group...and your pdoc too.

D

[recoverywfaith]

Maybe be honest in your sharing about the relapse and talk about why you relapsed...and what you plan to do differently...that way you are being honest and possibly helping someone else out as well?

[Justfor1]

I relapsed because I can't deal with everyday stress. I have no coping skills. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to function at an acceptable level. I have a criminal history & when I look for jobs it limits me. I can't expunge or seal these crimes either. I was a criminal for a long time. Frankly, I feel as if I might of done better being sent to prison instead of the numerous rehab opportunities I was given. I'm tired of thinking I have a disease. Maybe I'm just a selfish jerk who doesn't care about anyone else??

[24hrsAday]

Originally Posted by Justfor1

I relapsed because I can't deal with everyday stress. I have no coping skills. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to function at an acceptable level. I have a criminal history & when I look for jobs it limits me. I can't expunge or seal these crimes either. I was a criminal for a long time. Frankly, I feel as if I might of done better being sent to prison instead of the numerous rehab opportunities I was given. I'm tired of thinking I have a disease. Maybe I'm just a selfish jerk who doesn't care about anyone else??

i doubt you don't care about anyone else Just. the real bitch of being an Alcoholic for me is knowing that i am one. no matter what. AND then also accepting that as an adult i have to do what i have to do on a daily basis. no excuses. some days i do better than others..

[BillyWeaver]

Originally Posted by Gavinandnikki

If you believe in and consider yourself an AA member, yes you should confess to your slip and pick up a 24 chip.

Pam

I disagree Pam. Im sure the OP considers himself/herself an AA member regardless if they are having reservations of telling an entire group of people of a one time slip.

Informing your sponser is one thing, but it should be entirely up to OP as where to go from there.

[Db1105]

Chapter 5, How it Work mentions "rigorous honesty". Think about it.

[CarolD]

Each time I returned to drinking....I continued to attend my HG
and tell them I had...

Never was I made to feel unwelcomed.

[RobbyRobot]

Originally Posted by Justfor1

I relapsed because I can't deal with everyday stress. I have no coping skills. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to function at an acceptable level. I have a criminal history & when I look for jobs it limits me. I can't expunge or seal these crimes either. I was a criminal for a long time. Frankly, I feel as if I might of done better being sent to prison instead of the numerous rehab opportunities I was given. I'm tired of thinking I have a disease. Maybe I'm just a selfish jerk who doesn't care about anyone else??

We've all been uncaring selfish jerks in our day, and in our past ways, so you're not the only one, JF1. You're fresh from a short bout of drinking, so you're hurting, of course, and down on yourself as you come to terms of what happened. You're in a tough place, even with your stopping drinking, its no fun day.

Not telling certain others, in and out of AA, may bring you an early sense of confidence that you can cope easier, but, it will only keep the tragedy going without real closure, and that process will later on work against your confidence anyways.

So many people experience back to drinking in their own lives, yours won't change the world much simply because others have knowledge of it. As for how it may get thrown in your face, forget about it, you've been thru worse

As for how to have an explanation that satisfies you and any one else, forget about that too, you only need to answer for yourself, and others who respect that right in their own lives will respect your rights in your life. Those that won't, well, smile and thank them for sharing, and move on knowing you're taking the higher road.

I'm sorry about your criminal history, that is a heavy load, no sense pretending it isn't. Still though, what dosen't kills us makes us stronger, and so there is something going for you that can overcome that burden. Something inside. Something that defines your freedom and your trials to achieve that freedom. I know something about being locked up, you know, so I'm telling you you gained something from making your way thru all that, you know.

Hey, you tell who you want, and who you don't wanna share with, don't sweat it. Don't think though that it makes it easier to cope, because that is just smoke and mirrors, but you got every right to choose who knows what about you...

Me, I like how rigorous honesty works best out in the open, and yet, I'm still careful what I say about what, you know?

No problemo, Just. Keep doing that next right thing while you get this thing done and over with and back on journey of living clean n' sober enjoying freedom.