Gay AA groups?

[digderidoo]

What are your views on AA groups targeted to lesbian, bisexual and gay alcoholics, but also stated as non-restrictive?

Do you think the idea of an AA group targeted to a specific group of people is restrictive in itself, even though its stated as non-restrictive? Is it devisive? Or is it a good thing?

[Hollyanne]

There are men's groups and women's groups so they can deal safely and comfortably with issues that may be too difficult in a mixed group. I would think it appropriate for gay people to have the same.
As long as it is "singleness of purpose" and about the AA program of recovery, should be fine.
Only problem to me would be if a gay person was to get the idea that they could ONLY go to a gay focused meeting for recovery, because that would not be true.

[digderidoo]

My only concern would be that it would discourage someone from going to the meeting. For instance when I was in London there was a gay group 5 minutes from my hotel, I didn't attend, feeling as though I wouldn't identify so travelled to another one. London obviously has lots of variety so its not really an issue, but if a gay group is in a small town and someone really needed a meeting, would the idea of a group being advertised on the 'where to find' as LBG discourage a straight alcoholic from attending when he/she needed a meeting.

[SOBERINNEPA]

We have LGBT meetings here and I don't attend them because I have other options. Out of respect for the group.

But, if I were traveling and I really needed a meeting, I would hope that the LGBT group would welcome me as a visitor.

[shaun00]

Is gay alcoholism different from straight alcoholism then ?.....
And why would someone want to discuss their sexuality in a meeting....i dont..

[Gottalife]

I am influenced by my late sponsor who was gay. He was invited to give a talk at the university some years ago when this subject was topical - were there special issues for gay alcoholics? This was his talk:

My name is David, I am an alcoholic, I am also gay, and the two things are not related. Thank you.

Shortest talk they ever had.

I don't buy the " sensitive issues that are better handled by a single sex group" idea. In chaper 5 it says our stories disclose in a general way... sensitive issues are not for group comsumption. They might be in a group therapy setting with a trained therapist, but not an AA meeting, although there are always amateur therapists not far away.

Anyone who thinks they will get special understanding and consideration and can automatically be treated any better than at an ordinary AA meeting simply by virtue of having the same sexual orientation as the group, is deluded.

Sensitive matters are best kept for sponsors. Things of this nature can and do become widely known through indiscreet sharing, sometimes with tragic consequences.

I struggle to understand the purpose of our mens group. There are one or two members who are scared of women, there are one or two mysogonists, and the rest seem to like swearing a lot. It is not a meeting that has any attraction for me, but they will admit women if they turn up, so they meet the 3rd tradition and can call themselves an AA group. I don't see much wrong with being a special purpose group provided no alcoholics are excluded.

Those that are totally exclusive are not AA groups. If they exclude any alcoholic on the basis of sex, race, religion, social standing, whatever, according to our traditions, they do not meet the requirements to call themselves an AA group.

[CarolD]

I have attended many different types of meetings...and never have I felt
anything but welcomed.

From my experience this issue is a non issue...

[Hollyanne]

I typed some and deleted.
I am too tired to argue.
I just know myself that there are meetings that I am not "able" for.
I stay away from them.
I want everyone to be able to get AA.
I have actually witnessed a young gay man being mocked by an old guy at a meeting.
Also, some people have been traumatized by the opposite sex and cannot deal with it while getting sober. Sobriety is number one.
Have a lot to say, but that is all I can muster right now.

[Terminally Unique]

The GLBT meetings I have been to did not forbid heterosexuals from attending, and I recall a few straight women who attended for the reasons Hollyanne mentions.

[Taking5]

I have been to largely gay groups and I had no problems. There is a lot of ES&H there.

That said, I beleive LGBT groups, or for that matter, women only or men only groups, violate our 3rd tradition - the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.

That said, if someone can find sobriety in these exclusive meetings, I totally support it. I support sobriety however you can get there.

[LDT]

Fabulous discussion.......worthy debate......you've got my attention.

[DayTrader]

For me, to limit the "types" of advice, sharing, and perspective I get in recovery doesn't sound like a wise move. I've been to some men's meetings and think they have their place. On vacation, I walked into a woman's meeting (didn't know it was until I got there) - totally different dynamic than a mixed or a men's meeting. I'd suspect GLBT meetings are also similar but different.

Dividing AA? I don't think so. I could talk myself into believing that but how we practice the program and the traditions is what keeps AA together....not who you sit next to in a meeting.

Again, for me.....I won't attend just men's meetings because I find the exposure I get from "mixed" meetings to be beneficial. I need to hear a woman's point of view & I need to share some tough stuff in front of women. How someone else chooses to practice the program and what meetings they go to is their business, not mine. Just because I wouldn't like it doesn't mean it's not PRECISELY what they need in their life.

[DayTrader]

well what do ya know? SR's got a gay/lesbian section right here and in that forum is this same topic! http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...aa-groups.html (LGBT AA Groups)

[Tommyh]

if we all focus on the solution to our alcoholism,the 12 steps,it should not matter about all the other stuff.Just my 2 cents

I sponsored a gay guy once,and he eventually moved off.Before he did,my 3rd sponsor told him to come on back to us too.He also received encouragement from the gay meetings to attend regular AA meetings.He is still sober today and doing fine,a regular AA service dynamo

[FlyerFan]

I don't see a problem with it. Like it was said earlier, they have mens groups and womens groups, but they dont prohibit the opposite sex from coming in if they really need to. My womens group has let a man attend when he needed to and I have friends who have attended gay meetings and they were welcoming as well.

Bottom line, it doesnt matter what kind of meeting it is, if you're an alcoholic and you need help, they will most likely let you in with open arms.

[CarolD]

Last time I was in vegas...I called the hot line and asked where the nearest
meeting was....the man cheerfully came back with....

"Gay Lesbian or Trannie? Do you care?"

"Hmm not really...just the closest to my hotel please"

Off I went to the T.I.E. club ...attended the noon meeting for 6 days.
Super ,meeting and full of a variety of AA'ers ..all types of outfits .
Still not sure if it was a GLT group but I recommend it to anyone..

[miamifella]

In the U.S. there are lots of specialized groups (for men, women, doctors, younger people, etc.)

Is this less common in the UK? (Just curious about the regional differences in how 12-step programs are run.)

[RevivingOphelia]

Originally Posted by digderidoo

My only concern would be that it would discourage someone from going to the meeting. For instance when I was in London there was a gay group 5 minutes from my hotel, I didn't attend, feeling as though I wouldn't identify so travelled to another one. London obviously has lots of variety so its not really an issue, but if a gay group is in a small town and someone really needed a meeting, would the idea of a group being advertised on the 'where to find' as LBG discourage a straight alcoholic from attending when he/she needed a meeting.

I am sure that in small towns there would, most likely, ONLY be meetings that were non-LGBT specific. I'm in a city of over 200 000 and there aren't any LGBT-identified meetings. I am sure you, as a straight man, have FAR more choices in meetings.

I also have ZERO problem with meetings that cater to gender or sexual orientation.

[Lily]

I think they are fine. I have been to LGBT meetings while living in San Diego. I also love women's meetings. I think you have to try out a meeting to see if it is a fit, but I also agree w/ tradition 3 and think no one should be excluded.

Lily

[digderidoo]

Originally Posted by revivingophelia

I am sure that in small towns there would, most likely, ONLY be meetings that were non-LGBT specific. I'm in a city of over 200 000 and there aren't any LGBT-identified meetings. I am sure you, as a straight man, have FAR more choices in meetings.

I'm not too sure what you mean by non-LGBT specific? As a straight man in my locality the only choice I have is an AA meeting that's open to all alcoholics. There are no 'specific' meetings, with the exception a womans meeting in a neighbouring town that meets once a week, in the daytime when I'm at work.

Personally, I have never attended any sort of 'specific' meeting and wouldn't really want to, as I think I can learn from all aa'ers experience.