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02-10-2010, 03:25 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Don't resist, allow  Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,522
| Non AA asking how you know an AA person
If you are with someone and then you meet someone from AA and say Hello, then the person you are with asks how you know the AA person. What do you say?
__________________ "Know that at any moment in your life, you have the choice. You can either be a host to God, or a hostage to your ego. It's your call. Stay inspired [in spirit]" Wayne Dyer All quotes from first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to intention For This Useful Post: | Clutch B (02-10-2010) |
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02-10-2010, 04:10 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Mobile, AL
Posts: 3,453
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Just say hello. Never say anything to imply the person is in AA, that would be breaking their anonymity. If the non-AA person says "how do you know him/her?" then I just say friend of a friend.
__________________ He should be fine...if he survives the detox process that is..... Any quotes from the big book of AA are from the first edition, or are otherwise exempt from copyright infringement under the "fair use doctrine". |
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| The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to dgillz For This Useful Post: |
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02-10-2010, 04:24 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,739
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i Really Don't Mind People Knowing i'm in A.A. i Think Almost Everyone and Anyone in My Town Knows. As Far As other People i Run into i Try To Respect Their Privacy.. But.. it Does Happen From Time to Time That i Say i Know Them From A.A.
__________________ "We Realize We Know Only a Little. God Will Constantly Disclose More To You and to Us" BB 1st Edition p.164 |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to 24hrsAday For This Useful Post: | intention (02-10-2010) |
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02-10-2010, 05:48 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: uk
Posts: 2,184
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Thats happened alot.. Old friend........or friend of a friend........or x work mate.... anything along that sort of lines.. |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to shaun00 For This Useful Post: | intention (02-10-2010) |
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02-10-2010, 06:51 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 34,835
|  A neighbor....who knows I am in AA was visting yesterday. An AA member dropped in too. "X I don't think you've met my friend Y Y this is my friend X" I then steered the conversation to the ever popular subject our children and grand children. Neiter was so rude as to ask how I knew the other.
__________________  Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery!  |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to CarolD For This Useful Post: | intention (02-10-2010) |
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02-10-2010, 07:14 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| 1 bite&all resistance crumbles  Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,160
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A friend How did you meet - a friend of a friend OR do volunteering work together. cathy31 x
__________________ Sober since 22nd March 2006 by the Grace of God and the Programs & Fellowship of AA and NA  Life is Beautiful! Fake it til you make it... |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Cathy31 For This Useful Post: | intention (02-10-2010) |
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02-10-2010, 07:22 AM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,870
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I always treat everyone I meet in public as if they want their anonymity protected. If it means not being rigidly honest ( be advised their is a difference between rigid honesty and rigorous honesty) then I say whatever comes to mind such as a friend of a friend...
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| The Following User Says Thank You to navysteve For This Useful Post: | intention (02-10-2010) |
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02-10-2010, 07:44 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Kansas
Posts: 453
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I lie. I've been in a situation where my anonymity was broken and it wasn't a good situation as a result.
__________________ All quotes are from the Alcoholics Anonymous.1st Edition "Lord, take me where you want me to go, let me meet who you want me to meet, tell me what you want me to say, and keep me out of your way." - Fr. Michal Judge. |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to BadCompany For This Useful Post: | intention (02-10-2010) |
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02-10-2010, 08:04 AM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,547
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"If I told you, I'd have to kill you!" .....just joking! LOL! Although I did say that one time when the program person in question was someone who had explicitly told me that she didn't care if I told other people I introduced her to where I knew her from. ...usually I say: "...just through some other friends." ...lying is something I've never learned how to do properly and can't say I have any interest in learning now. freya
__________________ Working the Steps isn't about me acquiring power; working the Steps is about removing the things that block me from being a channel for God's Power. |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to freya For This Useful Post: | intention (02-10-2010) |
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02-10-2010, 08:17 AM
| #11 (permalink) |
| *Hooligan*  Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Tenino, Wa
Posts: 94
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I don't like to lie, and make a serious effort not too. When I am in that situation I always say "They are a friend of a friend" People like my wife know exactly what I mean when I say it, others usually don't question it beyond that, but if they do I just say my friend Bill. If I am in a public setting and I see someone I think I recognize from a meeting, I will ask them if they are a friend of Bill W. If they look at me and say "who?" I just say I thought I recognized them from some where and apologize.
__________________ Full time dad, part time *Hooligan* Renascor Aut Pax, Aut Bellum Quotes from Alcoholics Anonymous 1st Edition |
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02-10-2010, 08:28 AM
| #12 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 116
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Tradition 12: Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. The answer is clear do not break anyone's anonymity. There are any number of answers: a friend. If you have to think quick say an acquaintance you met at [ fill in the blank ] the supermarket, for example. Or any other explanation. |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Slag For This Useful Post: | intention (02-10-2010) |
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02-10-2010, 01:12 PM
| #13 (permalink) |
| Don't resist, allow Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,522
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Thanks for your replies everyone. I like the friend of a friend idea. Carol, unfortunately I have had someone ask me this question before. In fact she asked on two seperate occassions and she wasn't satisfied with the answer, so kept pushing it and I found it very uncomfortable. The person in question is someone I am very friendly with in OA and because she is not my age range I think it looked strange to the non-OA person. I would never break anyone's anonymity. My place for hanging out is around the school which happens to be at the supermarket so I have started to see AAs there shopping. I just wanted to be prepared in case the question gets asked again. I do like the friend of Bill one. I think, though, if I start telling people I met someone through my friend Bill, I may get asked even more questions that I can't answer 
__________________ "Know that at any moment in your life, you have the choice. You can either be a host to God, or a hostage to your ego. It's your call. Stay inspired [in spirit]" Wayne Dyer All quotes from first edition of Alcoholics Anonymous |
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02-10-2010, 03:55 PM
| #15 (permalink) | |
| Member  |  Quote:
er..also hard to pull of if the person is under the age of 50..... snirkle
__________________ Copyright © 2010 - 2010 Ananda  You can't stop living just because it hurts a little - Ananda's Mom | |
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02-10-2010, 03:56 PM
| #16 (permalink) |
| Friend of Bill W.  Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Looking for snow
Posts: 5,599
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I work in a job where I have contact with lots and lots of people. I see them as much or more as I see AAs... But for my closest friends, they know I am in AA and the assume it's one of the two possibilities and they don't even ask.
__________________ "Be Kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle."....Philo of Alexandria "Your fear of the future is your greatest mistake." .... Stephen Kellogg |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Mark75 For This Useful Post: | intention (02-11-2010) |
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02-10-2010, 05:49 PM
| #17 (permalink) |
| Member  |
Most people know I am in recovery. Every once in a rare while someone will ask that....I just say 'oh we go way back'....
__________________ ~KC~ "When we change the direction of a life, we change the life." Joe McQ |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to FanofJoeMcQ For This Useful Post: | intention (02-11-2010) |
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02-10-2010, 09:52 PM
| #18 (permalink) |
| problem with authority  Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 873
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I feel like I am asked this question a lot, but it's not generally one I recall ever being inclined to ask anybody I didn't know very well. For some reason people in work settings tend to ask it a lot. I say FOF generally, which in itself is a useless answer. Also, I am gay, and in gay circles the question is not often asked because the answer usually tends to prove, um, awkward. M
__________________ "Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." |
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02-11-2010, 12:50 AM
| #19 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA
Posts: 354
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It depends on who they're asking about. I met my husband in AA, so I am ALWAYS asked "How did you two meet?" Since we both maintain our anonymity, we've made an agreement with each other to tell people that we met at church. (Technically, the AA meeting was located at a church, so it's not a lie ...) When I'm asked how I met other people in AA, I say that we just happen to share some old friends. (It's not a lie either ...) |
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| The Following User Says Thank You to Clutch B For This Useful Post: | intention (02-11-2010) |
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