Step three inspiration

[littlefish]

I'm working step three and trying to push the self-will out of the way. I was at the supermarket and it's one of those markets where you can use scanners. Well, I couldn't go through the auto scan area and had to go to a register.

I only had two items. Right in front of me is a young mother with a cart loaded with items and a couple of kids. She was moving very slow to get her items on the belt. Great, I thought. I started feeling impatient and annoyed, but remembered, I'm working on step three.

So I wondered what will my higher power show me? And then I noticed the two little tykes in the grocery cart. They were a pair of adorable identical twins, fascinated by mommy's wallet.

I stood there and watched them and started to feel a big smile appearing on my face. They weren't screaming or crying, just doing their darndest to open that wallet!

When they finished up and left the register, I felt a little disappointed I couldn't watch them a little longer!

[basIam]

step three is not about getting rid of self will.

It is about realizing that the source of our discontent is our reliance on our will to control situations around us. And then we find, like self knowledge about our alcoholic condition does little to keep us from drinking, self knowledge about our willfull reliance does little to diminish it. We realize we need outside help.

I suggest to those that I work with to find a good dictionary (one with word origins) and look up the definition of 'ego,' specifically the definition related to psychology. I then suggest they go back and read the big book, chapter how it works from the paragraph beginning "Being convinced we were at step three. . ." through the the paragraph that ends ". . . an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once."

Highlight in one color all characteristics you can identify with.
Contemplate "how does this relate to the definition of 'ego' ?"
Ask yourself, "What does the book say is required for recovery?" (while the only requirement for membership is a desire to quit - that may only get you a cookie and a cup of coffee - there are requirements for recovery!) highlight in another color the requirement.
Consider "Is this statement true for me?"
Highlight in a third color the action they say that many of them found helpful to take.
Contemplate "Am I ready to takethis same action?"
If yes, take the action. If not . . lather, rinse, repeat!

[CarolD]

From the BB-1st. edition...Step 3

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

By not getting your will about how to check
out of the market......
uou were allowed to find an unexpected pleasure.

Had it happened to me.....
I would consider that to be a God Shot
a reminder of the important things in life.

Thanks for sharing ....

[navysteve]

ummm....

4th step?????

Although this decision was a...

Ring a bell?

Step three is a decision to work 4 through 11, nothing more, nothing less. And that decision means little unless at once followed by the action called for in the Big Book on page 64.

[barb dwyer]

you know, it's all a matter of 'timing'.
In my opinion.

We push and shove and hide and sneak our way through life
thinking this is how to 'be'.
We run our addictions that way as well.

By stopping the 'push' while in line,
youi actually stood aside and let events 'unfold'
that's 'God's ' timing.
You weren't late for anything
no civilizations fell because you took an extra minute in the checkout line
the cashier had a more pleasant experience, I can tell you fro personal experience
there's nothing more distracting than a 'second in line'
stamping, huffing, rolling their eyes
while you are trying to get everything CORRECT for the person in front of them...

it helped more peeps than you originally thought!

what a great example of 'cosmic time' and that IS
what we get out of the way
because it's not OUR time any more.

We have a new employer.
A new job.

Good for you!

[Boleo]

Originally Posted by basIam

Highlight in one color all characteristics you can identify with.
Contemplate "how does this relate to the definition of 'ego' ?"
Ask yourself, "What does the book say is required for recovery?"

highlight in another color the requirement.

Highlight in a third color the action they say that many of them found helpful to take.

After highlighting most of my Big Books to the point where there was little left in white I came up with the idea to highlight the principles, prayers and promises in different colors;

Principles = Blue
Prayers = Violet
Promises = Green

It soon became obvious that the Big Book is actually a formula:

Principles + Prayers = Promises

[jimhere]

"decision means little unless at once followed by the action called for in the Big Book on page 64."

Very true Steve. I remember being new and sitting in meetings and all this stuff seemed like such a mystery. I'd hear people say stuff like "Just turn it over," and I'd wonder how in the hell do you do that? When I got a sponsor, I asked how do you turn it over? He said "Can you count 4 through 12?"

But I also believe it is so much more than simple decision. The book says not to take it lightly, to "Think well, to make sure we are ready to abandon ourselves utterly."

Another piece of watered-down AA fluff that I hear is that "I turned it over, but I took it back." I don't think that once you turn it over that you get it back. The deal is that are no more deals and you can't reneg on it because once a certain point is passed, there is no going back. In fact, if you make the commitment and stop, it goes on without you. Joe H. put it best. If you take the Third Step and stop and don't go on with inventory or the rest of the process, it looks like this: "You can either write it down in black or white or watch it play out in living color."

So, when my sponsor and I got to this point, we looked at the terms laid out. I was given a week to consider these terms. What does it mean for me now that God is going to be my Director? A few pages earlier I got a look at what it looks like when I'm the actor trying to be the director and assigning myself and everyone else roles. Roles that that they don't play well. What happens is that I become angry, indignant, and self-pitying.

How about the idea that God is the principal and I'm the agent. That means that all the power God has is mine as long as I use it for what it is for.

God is The Father and I'm the child. And that means you are too and we are all related.

I will say that these terms don't define The Infinite to me. They do define my relationship to not only to God, but to myself and my relationship to you.

I think Barb brought the idea of having a new Employer. That means I have a new job and as long as I take care of my end of the deal, I always have what I need to do God's work. I have a boss that will never fire me. Where I go every day for eight or ten hours really isn't my job. It just finances the way I live. I just let them think they are my boss-LOL!

Consider the prayer itself:

"God I offer myself to thee to build with me and do with me as thou wilt...." I'm offering up myself, all my plans and designs, everything. From here on out the deal is that are no more deals. My life is none of my business anymore. I don't know what God has in mind, but I can be sure that it is better than what I have in mind.

"Relieve of the bondage of self that I may better do thy will..." I've lived in a prison of my own making for a good part of my life.

"Take away my difficulties so that I can be an example of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy way of life...." Notice it doesn't say that my difficulties are my job problems, my money problems, my woman problems, etc. And it doesn't say take away my difficulties so that I can feel better. Get me out of the way. Make me smaller, so that God can be bigger. Make me the salt of the earth. None of this is for me, you know. I used up my whole life on me. From now on my life isn't mine and isn't about me.

So, think well before you take this step. It might take you where you don't want to go.
Jim

Big Book references from Alcoholics Anonymous, First Edition

[basIam]

While jim is quite correct, in my opinion, none of it will make sense without taking into consideration the things, as well as the action, outlined in chapter 5. The manner I described, was the manner I found effective for myself.

We gotta be careful not to do peoples homework for them. Recovery through the steps is the result of taking the same actions described and searching diligently within one's self. Because, in the end, it is only there the answer is found.

True?

[Boleo]

Originally Posted by jimhere

So, think well before you take this step. It might take you where you don't want to go.

I once prayed to understand the true meaning of humility. Boy, was my prayer answered swift and abundantly. I lost all of my wealth and most of my possessions so fast it was my worst nightmare come true.

I also experienced the 10th step promise as if it were an epiphany.

[jimhere]

Originally Posted by basIam

While jim is quite correct, in my opinion, none of it will make sense without taking into consideration the things, as well as the action, outlined in chapter 5. The manner I described, was the manner I found effective for myself.

We gotta be careful not to do peoples homework for them. Recovery through the steps is the result of taking the same actions described and searching diligently within one's self. Because, in the end, it is only there the answer is found.

True?

Of course it won't make sense until I take the action.

But at the same time, this is a heavy set of considerations. I'm not doing anyone's homework for them. You want to see what I'm talking about, find out for yourself, I am merely sharing the approach that was taken with me, which is the same approach I take when leading another through the steps.