i hope it never ceases to amaze! - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Charmie · 08-07-2009, 04:36 PM

long story here,,,about 4 months ago i wrote a letter to the Scottish AA mag.i had forgotten all about it.it has been printed.a few folk metioned it at my lunchtime meeting yesterday.one lady said thank you.i dont remember exactly whats in it but remember at the time being on a complete high and consumed with gratitude (happens alot!),,that was nice.then i heard that some other folk while i wasnt present were sn!ggering over said letter and asking "who did i think i was after only being in AA 5 minutes?",,so what did i do? i let self seeking fear rule the roost and got myself in a mess today.of course i didnt realise it was self seeking fear until some very sage words from various folk and much later in the day!,,then,,2 days ago i "bumped" into a lady i have known for a long time and have often suspected was the "same as us" but of course not for me to say,,,i went up to her and gave her a hug and asked her how she was,she said to me "you look bright" i said "i am bright most of the time these days!" then blurted out i had been sober 6 months and it was a miracle! (she lives in small village i moved to and has seen me perform),,she asked if i went to AA,i said yes,she showed intrest and i asked her if she would like to go,gave her my numb.she called me last night and i am taking her sunday.so,,,then my self seeking fear turns from "eek,what are folk saying about me?" to "eek,what are they going to think of me!!!??" who does she think she is 12 stepping at 6 months? i spoke to many folk and couldnt get my sponsor till this evening.i met a chap i know with very attractive programme just after i spoke to this lady so decided to call him.he is taking us to a none gossipy meeting instead of the one i thought i would have to take her to,,phew.i know this wasnt accident meeting him either!.i went to meeting tonight and a visitor shared about how his self seeking fear still rears its ugly head from time to time and how he sometimes wont let go! i burst out laughing,,i couldnt believe it,he was describing me,that day,up until just an hour ago!,,i do not know much and the day i think i do i am in deep trouble.i respect and love some of the "old timers" and go to them ALL the time.but i shared how i was going to help this lady as it was our primary purpose,its not up to me,i am only doing His will and how some folk may be uncomfortable me doing this.but its none of my business what they think.i asked someone with "good sobriety" to help me help her.i am not going to apoligise anymore for working a programme and it seemingly working for me.i am happy,joyous,free and so so grateful,if im 6 months or 60 yrs,who cares? we only have today.

endzoner · 08-07-2009, 06:15 PM

Well said Sista .. ~ huggles Me

**CarolD** · 08-07-2009, 06:56 PM

I certainly hope the 3 of you benefit
from the situation ...

Well done on your 6 months:

freya · 08-07-2009, 08:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by charmian

i am not going to apoligise anymore for working a programme and it seemingly working for me.i am happy,joyous,free and so so grateful,if im 6 months or 60 yrs,who cares? we only have today.

AMEN to that!

freya

Dime · 08-10-2009, 09:28 AM

Wow, I can really relate to your experience of being on a high and full of gratitude at around two months sobriety! I had a very similar experience at about the same time in sobriety. I was absolutely miserable every second of the day before getting sober and in two months I was extremely grateful just to be sober. I had also just completed my seventh step which was a super experience for me.

I attended a meeting at that time where the topic was "Where are you at with the steps and how is it working for you". I got called on and explained that I had just completed the seventh step and was feeling wonderful because that is how I felt. When I finished the chairperson explained that the seventh step was really too early to be feeling good and made it sound like I was a liar!

I was very annoyed but just continued working the steps. Later I found out that the chairpersons sister had been murdered and that he was really struggling with what had happened. I suddenly was no longer annoyed by what he had said. I then fully realized that many of the people that attend meetings are indeed very ill.

Today I encourage my Sponsee's to help others. It is a very important part of recovery. Things like helping others find a meeting or giving a ride to a meeting is good for their recovery. We encourage detox patients to come with us to visit detox patients with us as soon as they are released from the hospital. They don't of course tell patients how to stay sober yet but a simple "hello how are you doing" to a patient can mean so much. Their chances of staying sober go up considerably when they visit the patients with us.

Charmian you are doing wonderfully!!!

You are simply doing the work and getting the results!! There is no requirement to be miserable or to sit in a corner in meetings and bow to everybody.

One of the very best Sponsors I know of began to sponsor at three months sobriety. Her first Sponsee is still sober today along with so many others years later.

Charmie · 08-10-2009, 01:24 PM

thank you for your kind words of encouragement dime! and thank you for your friendship.was a delight meeting you and we will be back someday.yes,,my problem is definatly worrying what others think,and i get fed up hearing "at least i am aware of it today" thats not meant to be a critisism,to me personally saying that means your not taking action to change it.i feel such a dufus for letting my old style behaviour take over all day friday,,,but im learning,,thats all i can do,and the day i stop learning im in deep deep trouble! like my sponsor said,do not let people live rent free in your head!,,i have since got hold of a copy of the said magazine and read my letter,there is absolutely nothing wrong with the letter! just full of gratitude,and i intend to hold on to that gratitude with all my being!

barb dwyer · 08-10-2009, 08:45 PM

Thanks for your thread, Charmain.

I needed a whiff of early recovery bliss today.

It *is* worth it.

08-07-2009, 04:36 PM	#1 (permalink)
Charmie Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 715	i hope it never ceases to amaze! long story here,,,about 4 months ago i wrote a letter to the Scottish AA mag.i had forgotten all about it.it has been printed.a few folk metioned it at my lunchtime meeting yesterday.one lady said thank you.i dont remember exactly whats in it but remember at the time being on a complete high and consumed with gratitude (happens alot!),,that was nice.then i heard that some other folk while i wasnt present were sn!ggering over said letter and asking "who did i think i was after only being in AA 5 minutes?",,so what did i do? i let self seeking fear rule the roost and got myself in a mess today.of course i didnt realise it was self seeking fear until some very sage words from various folk and much later in the day!,,then,,2 days ago i "bumped" into a lady i have known for a long time and have often suspected was the "same as us" but of course not for me to say,,,i went up to her and gave her a hug and asked her how she was,she said to me "you look bright" i said "i am bright most of the time these days!" then blurted out i had been sober 6 months and it was a miracle! (she lives in small village i moved to and has seen me perform),,she asked if i went to AA,i said yes,she showed intrest and i asked her if she would like to go,gave her my numb.she called me last night and i am taking her sunday.so,,,then my self seeking fear turns from "eek,what are folk saying about me?" to "eek,what are they going to think of me!!!??" who does she think she is 12 stepping at 6 months? i spoke to many folk and couldnt get my sponsor till this evening.i met a chap i know with very attractive programme just after i spoke to this lady so decided to call him.he is taking us to a none gossipy meeting instead of the one i thought i would have to take her to,,phew.i know this wasnt accident meeting him either!.i went to meeting tonight and a visitor shared about how his self seeking fear still rears its ugly head from time to time and how he sometimes wont let go! i burst out laughing,,i couldnt believe it,he was describing me,that day,up until just an hour ago!,,i do not know much and the day i think i do i am in deep trouble.i respect and love some of the "old timers" and go to them ALL the time.but i shared how i was going to help this lady as it was our primary purpose,its not up to me,i am only doing His will and how some folk may be uncomfortable me doing this.but its none of my business what they think.i asked someone with "good sobriety" to help me help her.i am not going to apoligise anymore for working a programme and it seemingly working for me.i am happy,joyous,free and so so grateful,if im 6 months or 60 yrs,who cares? we only have today.

08-07-2009, 06:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
endzoner Being Me for the first time Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Wishek, North Dakota Posts: 622 Blog Entries: 12	Well said Sista .. ~ huggles Me __________________ Dying is easy , Its living that scares me to death ( Annie Lennoox)

08-07-2009, 06:56 PM	#3 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 21,891	I certainly hope the 3 of you benefit from the situation ... Well done on your 6 months: __________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery! :

08-10-2009, 08:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
barb dwyer same planet...different world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: butte mt Posts: 7,973 Blog Entries: 3	Thanks for your thread, Charmain. I needed a whiff of early recovery bliss today. It is worth it. __________________ Menopause ~ puberty with experience.

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08-10-2009, 09:28 AM	#5 (permalink)
Dime Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Soberland, USA Posts: 930	Wow, I can really relate to your experience of being on a high and full of gratitude at around two months sobriety! I had a very similar experience at about the same time in sobriety. I was absolutely miserable every second of the day before getting sober and in two months I was extremely grateful just to be sober. I had also just completed my seventh step which was a super experience for me. I attended a meeting at that time where the topic was "Where are you at with the steps and how is it working for you". I got called on and explained that I had just completed the seventh step and was feeling wonderful because that is how I felt. When I finished the chairperson explained that the seventh step was really too early to be feeling good and made it sound like I was a liar! I was very annoyed but just continued working the steps. Later I found out that the chairpersons sister had been murdered and that he was really struggling with what had happened. I suddenly was no longer annoyed by what he had said. I then fully realized that many of the people that attend meetings are indeed very ill. Today I encourage my Sponsee's to help others. It is a very important part of recovery. Things like helping others find a meeting or giving a ride to a meeting is good for their recovery. We encourage detox patients to come with us to visit detox patients with us as soon as they are released from the hospital. They don't of course tell patients how to stay sober yet but a simple "hello how are you doing" to a patient can mean so much. Their chances of staying sober go up considerably when they visit the patients with us. Charmian you are doing wonderfully!!! You are simply doing the work and getting the results!! There is no requirement to be miserable or to sit in a corner in meetings and bow to everybody. One of the very best Sponsors I know of began to sponsor at three months sobriety. Her first Sponsee is still sober today along with so many others years later.

08-10-2009, 01:24 PM	#6 (permalink)
Charmie Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 715	thank you for your kind words of encouragement dime! and thank you for your friendship.was a delight meeting you and we will be back someday.yes,,my problem is definatly worrying what others think,and i get fed up hearing "at least i am aware of it today" thats not meant to be a critisism,to me personally saying that means your not taking action to change it.i feel such a dufus for letting my old style behaviour take over all day friday,,,but im learning,,thats all i can do,and the day i stop learning im in deep deep trouble! like my sponsor said,do not let people live rent free in your head!,,i have since got hold of a copy of the said magazine and read my letter,there is absolutely nothing wrong with the letter! just full of gratitude,and i intend to hold on to that gratitude with all my being!

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