There, but for the Grace of God....

[barb dwyer]

...wow.

I desperately needed a part - time job - fast....
and the only thing that came to me was
part time in a liquor store.

Nothing like a constant vigilance of my spiritual condition, huh?

Well -
I just sold a bottle to a woman
who came into the program about the same time I did.
She's not looking good at all.
She had just shy of two years, I thought.

I can't help but be sad.

Just wanted to share that.

Maybe the Infinite just wants me to be constantly aware
of just how close I really am, you know?

Of just how close ANY of us are.

Thanks.

[tkdan]

My hat's off to you. Wow a recovering alcoholic working in a liquor store. I cannot even imagine doing that let alone actually doing it. Hearing about that lady does help me to realize that if I went back out how quick I would destroy myself with that poison. Thanks for sharing.

[barb dwyer]

awwwww. Thanks Tk.

It was the only job I could find,
and when I interviewed
I told them the deal.
This store is linked to like half a dozen casinos in the state
and they knew of me from my bartending days.

So the interview was unconventional, to say the least - LOL.

And I've stepped up my meetings,
plus there's the District Sercive work to keep me
focused on the solution.
Not everybody who buys booze is an alcoholic.

IT's okay -
the bottles are just that -
bottles.
And, the customers are rarely drunk BEFORE they buy a bottle.
So I don't have to smell anything or cope with a drunk.
And it's not like I can't talk knowledgeably about the product, ya know?
I doubt there's anything in here I haven't had at least once.
Except the stuff invented in the last three years.

And then, there *is* the money.
Which I had NONE of.

It was sad to see her, though.
Really jolted me.

There's been an 'outbreak' of goings out lately.
Old timers - twenty three years, twenty years, eighteen....
I dunno what the heck.

Good to see ya, TK!

[Believe808]

That's always sad Barb when you know someone who goes back out, you want to shake them but they have to find their own way back.

Thanks for the reminder. Please stay close to your program, I know you will.

[laurie6781]

When I lived in Northeastern Nevada, a fairly small town, only 6500 in the whole county, jobs were scarce.

I was on the 'waiting list' to get on as several of the gold mines (80 miles outside of town) in administrative, but ............................................ I had to pay my rent and utilities somehow.

The Big Book tells us that if we have a legitimate reason for being there and are in a fit spiritual condition all should be well.

Well .......................................... I got a job, worked it for 9 months until I got on at one of the Gold Mines .................................................. bartender at one of three of the legitimate Brothels in town, roflmao

We only had 3 meetings a week in town, so if I was scheduled to work on one of the meeting nights, my boss (quite a gal) told me I could report for work after my meeting was over.

I have to tell you I had a ball!!!!! It was fun working there, many times there were men in there just to drink. The booze didn't bother me, it was fun and it certainly was quite an experience!

I am sorry that you saw someone who relapsed, but we all know that happens. Like you when I would see that the first thought that would go through my head was "there but for The Grace Of God go I." Sure brings up a lot of gratitude in a hurry.

Congrats on finding a job!!!!! That is great and will give you some relief from the stress you have been under.

Love and hugs,

[barb dwyer]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Laurie }}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thank you! You've always been there for me - goin on three years honey!

Thank you.

[Ago]

I bartended for three years in sobriety

My old friends would come up and start explaining their drinking to me

I'd tell them if you want to get sober on these nights I'll be at these meetings, if you want to get drunk come see me at The XXXX XXXXXXX on these nights, I'll be equally happy to see you at either place.

The truth of the matter is I 12 stepped way more people bartending then I did attending meetings, not by "preaching" or "12 stepping" while I was pouring drinks, but because when I was drinking I was a very well known bartender and my "fall from grace" was a pretty public affair that involved a 6000 mile drunken road trip in a blackout with a member of the Czechoslovakian Soccer Team that hijacked a plane from the Old Soviet Union to Malta, waking up one morning 3000 miles away from home (on a F'ing WEEKDAY mind you)in the middle a hurricane with my name, a public display of infidelity, and an even more public abrupt sudden change in my relationship status, living situation, and employment status.

So when I got my got my old job(s) backs (The bartending job was tied into my Paramedic/Fire Dept/Natl Park Service jobs) and My Girl back people starting watching me, and after a year or two of me staying sober and my life getting better and better, started either coming to me themselves or bringing spouses, sons or daughters to me.

Being of Maximum Service is what it's all about kiddo.

For the most part it was fine but it had it's difficult moments.

[barb dwyer]

They keep saying they want me behind the bar again.
I had a 'crowd', and was pretty popular as well.
No soccer team incident, tho - holy crap!
:rotf:

I'm not there.
I may never be.

That's a great story, tho - sorry but I did laugh.

[Charmie]

goodness me,,,good job on getting a job barb! and ago,,,you should see the look on my face,,,lol

[AW2486]

Originally Posted by barb dwyer

I just sold a bottle to a woman who came into the program about the same time I did. She's not looking good at all. She had just shy of two years, I thought.

God works through us. It was meant to happen. A greater purpose at work here.

I was thinking that after reading your post Barb. Thanks for reminding me of what I need to be when I walk out the door into society.

[tomvlll]

Originally Posted by barb dwyer

...wow.

I desperately needed a part - time job - fast....
and the only thing that came to me was
part time in a liquor store.

Nothing like a constant vigilance of my spiritual condition, huh?

Well -
I just sold a bottle to a woman
who came into the program about the same time I did.
She's not looking good at all.
She had just shy of two years, I thought.

I can't help but be sad.

Just wanted to share that.

Maybe the Infinite just wants me to be constantly aware
of just how close I really am, you know?

Of just how close ANY of us are.

Thanks.

I have to be honest. I'm absolutely taken aback by that concept of a 'loving God".

IE , the HP is directing that other person's misery your way, just for your sake. So to the other person , the message form HP is : " Sorry, I need to ruin your life to send a message to somebody I happen to like better".

[laurie6781]

IE , the HP is directing that other person's misery your way, just for your sake. So to the other person , the message form HP is : " Sorry, I need to ruin your life to send a message to somebody I happen to like better".

Tom knowing Barb the way I do, that is not what she implied at all. Her HP just opened her eyes 'one more time' to where she could be once again had she not found sobriety.

That is one of the problems of cyber recovery forums ....................... only the written word and not the inflections or body language can be 'heard' and a written post can be misconstrued by another.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

[BP44]

wow, I think this is the first time I've seen someone on here pick apart someones conception of God. My experience is that God uses what's at hand.

[jimhere]

I don't know about anyone else's conception of God. But I am pretty sure mine won't ruin your life so that I will feel better about mine.
Jim

[Pinkcuda]

Originally Posted by tomvlll

I have to be honest. I'm absolutely taken aback by that concept of a 'loving God".

IE , the HP is directing that other person's misery your way, just for your sake. So to the other person , the message form HP is : " Sorry, I need to ruin your life to send a message to somebody I happen to like better".

It's highly possible that the message was intended for the other person. Maybe the HP was directing Barbs sobriety and happieness just for the womans sake.
It goes both ways you know.

[Ago]

I am frequently the miserable bast@rd that God puts in other peoples lives to show what not to do

[stone]

Originally Posted by tomvlll

I have to be honest. I'm absolutely taken aback by that concept of a 'loving God".

IE , the HP is directing that other person's misery your way, just for your sake. So to the other person , the message form HP is : " Sorry, I need to ruin your life to send a message to somebody I happen to like better".

Knowing Barb like I do, I am sure she meant her HP was responsible for Barb being there to see the woman, not that HP ruined the woman's life (or sent her to the store) for Barb to see.

[DaveBB164]

I would have read that as being gifted an opportunity where I could possibly be helpful to another alcoholic, may be not immediately but at some point,

seeing another alcoholic suffer never provided me any immunity from drinking but helping one did.

[stone]

Originally Posted by DaveBB164

I would have read that as being gifted an opportunity where I could possibly be helpful to another alcoholic, may be not immediately but at some point,

This is something that she was also thinking of...

I have spoken to her on the phone you see.

[barb dwyer]

LOL!

Thanks to everyone who knows me... wow.
FUnny.
Not funny, 'ha ha' but funny... *shake yer head*.

Anyway - *I* also figure she was being shown where *I* was,
maybe she'll make a different decision?
That's what I will continue to hope for.

Not that I *need* to explain my conceptulization of macrocosmosis....
But the "God' of my understanding doesn't destroy.
Unless it's in order to create.

*WE* are the ones who screw this life up.
And we always need help to get out of it.

And *It's* always there.