Thoughts on the eleventh step

[navysteve]

I like posting about step 11 because this is one of the steps where I feel like I am still growing in AA. Making amends for me today is more about the mechanics of staying right with the world so I can continue to seek His will. The same goes for inventory and such...

Since I just came from spending two weeks immersed in the lives of 87 young peoples lives and dealing with problems ranging from hospital trips to stubbed toes I came home feeling drained. As I listened to Anne's experiences of the last two weeks without me I realized that it is important to know when we can give attention and when we need attention. Often we are inclined to give, give, and give without ever asking anything in return. We may think that this is a sign of generosity or even heroism ( and how I am guilty of this!). But it might be little else than a proud attitude that says: "I don't need help from others. I only want to give." When we keep giving without receiving we burn out quickly. Only when we pay careful attention to our own physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs can we be, and remain, joyful givers.

There is a time to give and a time to receive. We need equal time for both if we want to live healthy lives.

That is an important element in AA for me as well. I sometimes get caught up in the moment with helping others that I forget that I too, sometimes ( every now and then) need help.

[optra]

I've found that since making a conscious effort daily to seek His will in my life that every area of my life has improved. Not only that but if I neglect morning prayer and meditation I can see the difference in my day by noon, if not sooner! It seems to be human (my) nature to want to run the show. Inevitably this leads to problems. Step 11 is extremely important to me.

[dgillz]

As soon as I finished Step 3, I started on step 4, but after an hour my sponsor stopped me and asked if I was doing step 11 every night (not the way some people sponsor). I have since developed a great appreciation for this. If I do not start and end the day seeking my HP's will for me, I have no chance of completing the steps 4 thru 9 and in IMHO I am flirting with a relapse.

On the other hand, if I am actively seeking my HP's will, there is a good chance that I will stay sober today.

[stone]

A friend of mine says the 12 steps are spiritual growth for a white male society, lol. It was written by a white male for a start.

The sometimes strident language of the big book and the emphasis on "rules" (or very structured guidelines), rooting out of defects (being hard on ourselves) and self-discipline are "male" attributes she says, and I can see what she means. I don't like the macho-ness some people approach the program with.

My point is...I agree with what you are saying Steve....I like this part...

Often we are inclined to give, give, and give without ever asking anything in return. We may think that this is a sign of generosity or even heroism ( and how I am guilty of this!). But it might be little else than a proud attitude that says: "I don't need help from others. I only want to give." When we keep giving without receiving we burn out quickly. Only when we pay careful attention to our own physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual needs can we be, and remain, joyful givers

[miss communicat]

daily: cultivating consciousness of God's purpose for me, steadfastly staying on that path, and listening for directions to the true energy source, or power, to carry out the higher purpose.

"the power to carrry it out.."

lately I've been getting hints that its not espresso.

[Sugah]

The well-known "man on the bed" picture reminds me of our ever-changing roles. Sometimes, we counsel the man on the bed, and sometimes, we are the man on the bed, even if we're a woman . Sometimes, I feed others, and sometimes, I need others to feed me. 11th step practice remind me of this.



Peace & Love,
Sugah

[nelco]

That is an important element in AA for me as well. I sometimes get caught up in the moment with helping others that I forget that I too, sometimes ( every now and then) need help

I agree steve....I find if i dont look after me and keep myself spiritually fit I cannot help anyone. We can only give what we have,.

[Boleo]

Originally Posted by navysteve

There is a time to give and a time to receive. We need equal time for both if we want to live healthy lives.

When I took the 3rd step I analyzed every speck of ink on the page. Thank God it only asked me to surrender my will and my life. Had it asked me to surrender my thinking as well I never could have taken this step. I could not live like a robot.

When I took the 11th step I again analyzed every speck of ink on the page.

Thank God it told me I could use my thinking (with a few Caveats);

"On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. Under these conditions we can employ our mental faculties with assurance, for after all God gave us brains to use. Our thought-life will be placed on a much higher plane when our thinking is cleared of wrong motives. "
"We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while."

"What used to be the hunch or the occasional inspiration gradually becomes a working part of the mind. "

- All Big Book quotes from Alcoholics Anonymous 4th Edition -

[justanothrdrunk]

The key for me, to the 11th step, was abandoning all the preconceived notions I had about what prayer was and was not. Once I figured out that:

Any activity in which my HP's existence in my life is brought to the forefront of my mind is prayer.

Once I figured that out, it opened up a whole new world for me.

[navysteve]

Sugah hit it, sometimes I grow spiritually and do "His" work by sticking my hand out and saying help. I forget that alot. I elevate myself to a position that tells me I don't need to do this or that. I don't need to seek help from my fellow travellers.