step 9

[yeahgr8]

removed

[tommyk]

In my opinion it is an issue resolved between you and your sponsor on a case by case basis.

[yeahgr8]

thanks yeah got that after i posted, thanks

[Charmie]

hhhmmmmmm,dont know whats happened here! was expecting good old chat about step 9???? i happen to be on step nine at the moment,,,its going good.so far,,,

[tomvlll]

The toughest step 9's are the 90/10's.

The ones where they are 90 % at fault, and you are only 10.

But then that's where you truly learn about the ego.

[tommyk]

Step 9 discussion? Cool... you talked me into it.

I learned a great deal about myself in step 9 because when I first started the steps I pretty much swore to myself there were only gonna be 7 steps in my program. There was no way I was going to do steps 8 & 9, at least not honestly.

Then I started learning about ego, being humble, and making others feel good. I realized that if I accepted my part in past issues, regardless of who else was at fault in any more or lesser capacity, I 'emerged' from the memory of the situation with a calmer conscience. Peace & serenity?

And I learned that making an amends is not a sign of weakness, a surrender, or a confession, but more all about me expressing true regret for a past situation, and feeling better as a result.

Now, today, I can EASILY make an amends to someone from my past because today I am a different person, a stronger person, a person that has grown spiritually enough to earnestly WANT to make some one else feel better.

And me admitting regret for my part in something from my past isn't a hard thing to do AT ALL.

"Hey, remember back when.... remember that guy I used to be... yeah I was a real dick... well I'm not that guy anymore... if the whole situation were to do over again it sure would be different today... sorry that I caused you grief... I hope we can get through it... thanks for listening.... I feel better getting it off my chest."

Great step, very fulfilling when approached from a humble & truthful perspective.

[Charmie]

i made my 1st amends yesterday.my family are 400 miles away (daughter,mum,sister,step dad,brother in law) and i have to do this face to face so although they are top of my list i will have to wait a little while.sooooooooo.the 80 year old lady that lives next door.mary,4 foot nothing and a formidable lady,she did this,she did that,shes horrible old lady,,blah blah blah.i looked purely at what i had done to her and my sponsor explained and of course i read how other peoples instincts go all to pot when faced with somebody like a performing alki who is behaving like i did.i was dreading it (self seeking fear???) so,,i prayed for my fear to be replaced with courage and away i went to see her (we havnt spoken for nearly a year,she was trying to poison my cats,,yeh,whatever!).she opened the door and i asked if i could have a few minutes of her time.she said straight away to come in and she had no argument with me! i sat down with her and told her i was on a spiritual programme of recovery (she knows im alki) and that part of my journey is to make amends to those i have hurt or treated badly.she said i didnt need to apologise and just stay well.she reminded me what a bad mother i used to be,and thats fine,i was! and then we had about 45 mins of her medical,this is usual so fine again,,lol.i was emotional at first but we soon got back into our old routine,her telling me about her family etc,except i listened for the first time ever.but,,it was when i walked down her garden path and turned round to say a final goodbye,,the look in her eyes.i am now experiencing giving and recieving love from fellow man (or woman).i had never noticed that look in marys eye before and it was probably there all the time,,i cannot believe it,,its all coming true! i love the step nine promises,,i would like some more of that thank you very much!

[keithj]

Originally Posted by charmian

i made my 1st amends yesterday

Welcome to freedom my friend. Get used to it, because it never has to end.