Sometimes I get discouraged...

[Freedom1990]

There are disadvantages of living in a small town, one being that females are few and far between in our AA group.

Earlier this week I had another gal come up and ask me to sponsor her, which I accepted. I know it will help me, and hopefully it will help her too. I just get tired of it all falling on my shoulders sometimes.

There have been periods of up to 5 years where I have been the only female in my group. We are a good solid group, with Big Book study and Steps/Traditions studies on a weekly basis. We're doing well enough financially that we're finally sprucing up the 30 year old paint job in the hall and getting new curtains!

Sometimes I wonder if there is anything else that I could be doing, but I honestly don't know what it is.

We have pamphlets out at all the doctor's offices, the mental health center, and the courthouse. The fellows of the group started taking a meeting into the jail here several months ago. We also have our meetings listed in the community calendar that the newspaper publishes.

If anyone has any ideas, or just wants to send a few hugs my way, that would be great!

[barb dwyer]

Hi Freedom...

I lived in a small town about thirty miles out of Butte when I first came to AA almost ten years ago.
(I didn't remain sober that time)

I* completely understand about the 'small meeting'.

One of that town's meetings I went to -
three people.

ZOWIE!!!!!

How about 'road trips'?
to other towns and attend one of their meetings?

Here in MT
we do that in the summer.
(Winter is just too dangerous)
We get three or four people in a car
and off we go.
Share the driving
and we get back late
but it's almost always a blast.

Maybe something like that?

Also - find out about and make all the arangements ahead of time
to attend 'roundups' nearby. Or not even nearby, just in the State.

Now with a sponsee...
and it's summer -
you have a buddy to road trip with.

[Freedom1990]

Thanks Barb! Actually we have 3 functions coming up in June for road trips, including our own annual campfire meeting at a lake where we barbecue and then are having a speaker later that evening. We get folks from all the groups in our district, and it's always a nice time.

I will say that at one time, three people was about it at my home group, but attendance has been up for about the past 8 months which is really nice (8-15).

[Charmie]

freedome,my hats off to you! you are already doing so much i dont think i can suggest anything else! what barb suggested is a good idea! i met my sponsor when she visited one of my regular meetings,,she lives 50 miles away,we are going to her meeting tommorow night in her home town so looking forward to meeting some new folk.where i live in north east scotland there is a lot of women and at a couple of meetings they even out number the men (woo hoo),,anyway,im sure the ladies that do show up occasionaly at your meetings are very grateful for you.i would be.

[barb dwyer]

Our 'Sistrer-town' Anaconda is about thirty miles west of us.

Their group is only about eight to ten peoploe.
They are constantly BEGGING us to come to their meetings
for the variety and all that.

There's another small meeting about fifty miles SW
with only about six people
but the combined soberiety
is over one hundred years.
They (our guys here I mean)
kinda treat that meeting like
a trip to Lourdes or something
LOL!

Tough old time cowboys and all that.

Yep-
get the car a tune up
and hit the road!

[CarolD]

(((Free)))

I think your home group is doing super
regarding community outreach.
Sorry....no other recommendations from me
as to how to increase membership.

For the past 10 years I too have belonged
to small town AA.
We have a solid core of 20 or so who share
the responsibilities includeing sponsorship.
We are about equal in gender.

My county has mushroomed...so we have
new members coming from other areas.
Some actually speak Southern....

[Sugah]

When I got sober, there were very few women, mostly newcomers like me. I found my sponsor in a neighboring town, and as soon as I finished formal step work at about 9 months sober, she was urging me to make myself available to sponsor others. By the time I had a year, all the new women coming through the door headed my way. Not many stuck around to actually do the work, though. Eventually, though, those who did made themselves available, but do you know what I found? It's the darnedest thing. Almost always, they needed to hear the words, "You're ready to sponsor" before they'd consider it. Why is that?

I guess I'm saying that to say -- keep doing what you're doing, and when the birdie is ready to leave the nest, make it clear to them! I have a young woman working on amends, and we've already started 10th and 11th step work. I told her, "You're about ready to sponsor, don't you think?" Her eyes opened wide as saucers. "Really??" And if you haven't had any get that far, don't lose heart. Eventually, you will, and then there will be two women, then three, then more.

Keep giving it away, Freedom. I'm all for road trips, having fun and enjoying a nice recovery environment -- though one alcoholic helping another is where it's really at.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[Freedom1990]

Originally Posted by Sugah

And if you haven't had any get that far, don't lose heart. Eventually, you will, and then there will be two women, then three, then more.

Thank you for that reminder! None have stuck around long enough, but I'll keep plugging away!

[bballdad]

((freedom)),good job

have you checked the local library to see if they have a couple of copies of the Big Book?
Also,the local school libraries may want one,as well as any local church that has a library.
We have done that before.
You can also get some PSA`s (public service announcements) and check with any radio or TV stations and see if they will play them as a public service.

any motels?
Check and see if you can leave some meeting schedules there for out of towners....
myself and a sponsee mailed out letters to all churches we could find once,over one hundred letters.It was a good experience just trying to carry the message

these are things we have done in the past,a lot of which is P.I. work

speaking of P.I work,there are workbooks like PI,Cpc,and others a group could study to break the usual stuff along with studying the concepts

[barb dwyer]

I did get our meeting schedules and saw to it there was a good supply at the front desk and in the 'local' borchures rack in the hotel I worked at.

[Freedom1990]

Originally Posted by bballdad

((freedom)),good job

have you checked the local library to see if they have a couple of copies of the Big Book?
Also,the local school libraries may want one,as well as any local church that has a library.
We have done that before.
You can also get some PSA`s (public service announcements) and check with any radio or TV stations and see if they will play them as a public service.

any motels?
Check and see if you can leave some meeting schedules there for out of towners....
myself and a sponsee mailed out letters to all churches we could find once,over one hundred letters.It was a good experience just trying to carry the message

these are things we have done in the past,a lot of which is P.I. work

speaking of P.I work,there are workbooks like PI,Cpc,and others a group could study to break the usual stuff along with studying the concepts

You've given me some great new avenues. We haven't gotten anything out to the motels, and I'll have to check the library. I know several of the church pastors here have been given Big Books and contact numbers. Thanks!

[BP44]

How about jail meetings for women?

[serenityqueen]

Here's a hug for ya! I think it's wonderful how much you give of yourself. I admire you so much for this. The hotel/motel idea is a great one. I've often wondered how people who travel find local Meetings, other than good old Google.

Are there any Community Colleges, Trade Schools nearby? County offices such as where people go to apply for food stamps, medical cards . . . Here in Dayton, at a lot of Meetings, during the announcements there is a stack of other Meeting day,time, location info flyers passed around. There have been several occassions where someone will make a comment that they had no idea there was a Meeting closer to home, they were driving pretty far to get to the Meeting they were at.

God Bless You for getting the message out,
Judy

[RufusACanal]

Freedom,

I could hope that more groups and folks would take your lead and provide the love and care you have described here. Thankfully, we have folks who embrace the role of care giving in our meetings, because the vast majority are caretakers and I have counted myself one of these more often than not.

Discouragement for me mainly comes from my inability to change people, places and things. Usually, I have sprung off on some tangent, without regard for balance. By asking God once again for meaningful direction then applying the action necessary to provide the results, I can now find my way through discouragement and again enjoy that easy does it, one day at a time life that God, you and I have worked so hard to attain.

Over the years, I have attempted to be the fixer, the one who had if not all of the answers, then a damn good many of them. And of course, my EGO wouldn't have it any other way. This is one of the great truths I finally am grabbing onto as I inventory once again. I have not been content with let’s say the color of the tablecloth or the arrangement of the chairs, I had to try multiple combinations, endlessly; all of this while some areas of life would go without the nourishment so necessary for good health. I lacked balance; I lacked a clear vision of my place in the scheme of things.

Finally, when am I grateful enough? I guess that if I have given to the best of my ability and gone the extra mile, when is that gift of gratitude enough for me? Maybe, my vision is narrow and I have not expanded myself as much as I could have. Pen and paper now become necessary to find my place again while asking for direction from the Spirit of truth and love I have come to depend on.

Freedom, your voice here has been one that I have come to rely on for balance and clarity, yet you are no more and no less an Alcoholic as I. Your words today for me signal a start of inspection and I applaud your work. Please do not stop as you continue to serve and grow and love. Sometimes we just need a nudge back on the path. Friends, pen, paper and God has become that nudge for me. I am proud to know you friend and believe that you will find that like a gloomy, down day, this too shall pass.

[Freedom1990]

Originally Posted by BP44

How about jail meetings for women?

They very seldom get any women in jail here, but I am on the list to take a meeting into the jail should they have a female inmate interested in AA.

Originally Posted by serenityqueen

Are there any Community Colleges, Trade Schools nearby? County offices such as where people go to apply for food stamps, medical cards . . . Here in Dayton, at a lot of Meetings, during the announcements there is a stack of other Meeting day,time, location info flyers passed around.

No trade schools or community colleges, and our small SRS office closed years ago when the budgets for government programs were slashed. We do hand out the meeting list for our entire district to newcomers at our meetings.

[barb dwyer]

Freedom -0

I thought a good bit about you before dropping off to sleep.

I woke up thinking about you ...

and I want to thank you for having the tenacity to hold the space for women all this time in your group.
And for having the strength to keep going back.

Wow.

It struck me how lonely that must be at times ...
but yet - as an alcoholic ...
(heehee)
I can't help but think about YOU m aking the MEN in the group
think of the needs outside their own gender as well.

WOW.

Just a note to say someone has gotten a glimpse of how important you are in your group.

And I admire you for it.

[Ago]

[Freedom1990]

Originally Posted by barb dwyer

Freedom -0

I thought a good bit about you before dropping off to sleep.

I woke up thinking about you ...

and I want to thank you for having the tenacity to hold the space for women all this time in your group.
And for having the strength to keep going back.

Wow.

It struck me how lonely that must be at times ...
but yet - as an alcoholic ...
(heehee)
I can't help but think about YOU m aking the MEN in the group
think of the needs outside their own gender as well.

WOW.

Just a note to say someone has gotten a glimpse of how important you are in your group.

And I admire you for it.

Thanks so much Barb! Most of the time I don't sit there thinking 'gee, I'm the only woman here'. I always listen for/share the solution, and that applies to both genders, you know?!

I think it becomes more obvious to me when the women have all drifted off again for the umpteenth time, and there I am!

I'm incredibly blessed because as I said before, we have a good solid group, and all the men there are respectful of me, and vice versa. Everyone should have such a good home group as I have!