non AA literature in meetings

[miss communicat]

How do I handle this situation:

My former home group is a women's AA group that has a rotating format. 1 week is BB, 1 week is a step study, 1 week a speaker and 1 week a topic discussion.

I call it my former "home group" because it is 4 towns away from my home, and in the intervening year, I've helped start up 5 early bird AA meetings right here in my town and they are growing well and I now call these my home group.

Until last week, I had not attended the women's AA group but for the occasional meeting here and there...very sporadically. I noticed that it was heading into a direction that did nothing for my recovery from alcoholism: it was more like an al-anon or group therapy circle with lots of whining.

Anyway, last week, I brought a newcomer woman there in hopes that it might introduce her to more women in the program.

It was a step meeting, and the chairperson had decided to use a non AA book to study the step we were on, and she passed the book around so we could all read our requisite paragraphs out of the book before we shared.

I was fit to be tied. I wanted to walk out but i had this person with me and chose not to. I passed when it came my turn to read, and left the room twice to shift my energy because I was clearly irritated.

The chairperson is a therapist. She is a chronic relapser. She has "problems" with Step 3. Her therapist suggested she use this stupid workbook instead of the Big Book. I feel she has no place chairing a step AA meeting if she uses non AA literature.

To me, it is apparent that she is diluting the message and the principles of AA. Actually, she cannot carry the message of AA as long as she remains self reliant, which was the tenor of her book. I lost count of the number of times the words "my choice" and "self reliance", and that references to cocaine and sex addictions were used.

Anyway, I raised my hand and asked the group if this is still an AA meeting. They said yes. I then asked if a group conscience had determined that it was acceptable to replace AA literature with secular psychotherapeutic writings, and that, if it had, then it is a women's support group of some sort but is no longer an AA meeting and it should be stricken from the schedule book.

I was told that it was not a big deal and that nobody minded.
(!!?)

I realize I can personally simply not return to that meeting, which serves me and my recovery personally, but is that all? 3 of the oldtimers who were not as vocal as me called me the next day to thank me for being courageous and to tell me they support my speaking up.

I am not into drama and would prefer to let this go.

What would you do in a similar situation?

[ananda]

I guess i have been to many meetings that I found to be counter to what i consider to be AA...but.....to someone else it obviously is....

So i don't attend meetings that i find to be counterproductive to my sobriety.

At one point i tried and tried to change meetings to be as i thought they should be....it didn't work. When i stopped going to AA for years, adn came back...much had changed....over time things tend to sort themselves out over time.

I still find some meetings to run counter to what AA is to me....and i attend them occationally and share my expereince strength and hope...but I also make sure i get a good core of meetings that meet my understanding of AA.

[CarolD]

My home group voted to continue to use the 24 Hour book.
It's the only exception we allow to be used in meeting.

You did the correct thing by speaking out.....
I think that was your part on the situation.
I hope those silent members will take it to a GC.

Congratulations on your early bird service committment.
I love those "start your day the AA way" meetings.

[BP44]

Initially, in beginning to read your post I thought you had changed home groups because it was 4 towns over, but as I continued to read your post the reality is you left because it was no longer AA, and you sought out and helped develop the fellowship you crave. I've learned that everything that calls itself AA simply isn't. The fact of the matter is that it is no longer your home group and you aren't a part of its group conscience. You really have two choices, you can become a member of that group again and it's group conscience and through effective membership change the direction of the group, or focus on the group you've helped start continue to be an effective group of AA. Sounds to me like you found out where not to send a newcomer. Sometimes that's all I need to find out about a group.

[Mark75]

Does the fact that an AA meeting uses non AA literature and in fact may be doing so without group conscience, but even if there is group conscience... does it not affect AA as a whole???.... You, yourself, are affected... even though it is not your home group... you can no longer trust that this woman's meeting is carrying the message of AA and hence may not refer people, women specifically, who need that message...

Make sense?

Mark

PS - I would have been out of my mind....

[Freedom1990]

I think you did a great job of handling it.

It is no longer your home group. You recognized it was steering away from carrying the message when you started your early bird meetings.

The oldtimers called you and thanked you for saying what you did.

Now what they do, or don't do, with it, is up to them.

Turn it over to God.

Just my two cents.

[shaun00]

i see your frustratrion.......

Just another example of watered down.....played about with AA.

along with all the other "adapted"..or "made to fit" meetings.

I have a choice.........so i travel when i can.

I would have spoke up like you.......and probably would have fell on deaf ears as well...

solution........keep getting those meetings off the ground...

[Pinkcuda]

FWIW, this is from Pg 87 of the Big Book.

If not members of religious bodies, we sometimes select and memorize a few set prayers which emphasize the principles we have been discussing. There are many helpful books also. Suggestions about these may be obtained from one's priest, minister, or rabbi. Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer.

All quotes from AA Big Book first edition.

[jimhere]

Miss C,
I solve problems like that by no longer attending the meeting. Carol was right, you did your part by speaking your piece. Now it is time vote with your feet and let the dead bury the dead.

I have been accused on these forums of ranting against contemporary AA. Probably true, but your example epitomizes to me everything that is wrong with contemporary AA. Doing everything in AA but AA and wondering why the group stays sick. But that is their right to do so.

You know, one of the great things about AA is that an individual or a group can do whatever the hell they want to do. One of the tragic things about AA is that an individual or a group can do whatever they want.

cubile brought up the 4th Tradition. The group is free to use whatever literature it sees fit. However, as you've seen it won't remain an AA group for long if it continues to stray from tradition. cubile also asked a good question. Does it affect AA as a whole? I think groups that use non-AA literature such as the workbook you mentioned do affect AA as a whole. What if your newcomer friend had came alone and this was her first impression? To her that would be AA as a whole.

Maybe there should be a 13th Tradition: "Forgive them, for they know not what they do."
Jim

[NoelleR]

Before I get to my question, I just want to say that I totally agree that a person, or a group, can go soafar afield with their literature to no longer being an AA group, however....................

I'm a little confused here. Is there a list of what literature may/may not be read or used by AA groups; a group/listing of literature that would constitute 'AA Literature'.....?

I know there is 'Conference-Approved Literature,' but the term “Conference-approved” describes written or audiovisual material approved by the Conference for publication by G.S.O. It does not imply Conference disapproval of other material. A great deal of literature helpful to alcoholics is published by others, and A.A. does not try to tell any individual member what he or she may or may not read.


???
NoelleR

[jimhere]

No there isn't a list put out by GSO, not that I know of anyway. A group decides what literature to use. My group is called "Bring Your Own Big Book," which should give a clue as to what literature we use.

I agree that there is a lot of fine non-AA literature. In fact, a lot of it is better than the literature put out by GSO/AAWS, Inc. that is conference approved. I wouldn't go so far as to say that about the workbook Miss C mentioned, though.

[kwigers]

In the past sixteen years, I have encountered meetings, topics and conversation that I did not particularly agree with, nor even like.
I try to remember that God speaks through others, and sometimes the message is not for ME, it is for another person in the room that needs to hear it! Perhaps the guest you brought???
Much love and light!~Cheryl

[CarolD]

Sometimes I simply shake my head....
where is common sense gone?

Before the meeting started ...a woman was sitting quietly
reading the 24 Hour. She has 17 years of recovery.

The chair.....22 years in program....hollered across the room
"you gotta put that away ...it's only 10 minutes before we start"


She laughed.....continued to read...left it closed in fromt
of her when the meeting began.

[Tommyh]

my home group uses only the big book and the 12x12 but we read a reading out of the 24 hour a day book every meeting
which I believe is a little different than your meeting was doing Miss C
you did the right thing,you spoke up because you believe it was wrong,and others may speak up soon...hopefully.....

[Rob B]

I've wasted a lot of energy trying to change people and meetings that I felt were off topic and group therapy nonsense, I don't do this anymore.
That being said, I'm glad you spoke your conscious, I'm still learning to do that without owing an amend LOL.

I'm with Jim, I vote with my feet and try to find newcomers and show them the only solution that AA offers, The steps as they are laid out in the BIg Book. BEFORE...they wind up in meetings like the one you just described.

[navysteve]

I have been to AA meetings that have used a christian devotional reading ( The Upper room)

The 24 hour a day book/ Emmet Fox and a few other christian themed books

I was even at a meeting that read some buddhist literature related to recovery

The Upper Room meeting was ok but could have been seen as exclusive, but the other ones were not to my liking but people were there seemed to be getting something. The basic elements were in all groups that are in a real AA meeting. There was service, love and a message being carried.

[miss communicat]

Originally Posted by navysteve

I have been to AA meetings that have used a christian devotional reading ( The Upper room)

The 24 hour a day book/ Emmet Fox and a few other christian themed books

I was even at a meeting that read some buddhist literature related to recovery

The Upper Room meeting was ok but could have been seen as exclusive, but the other ones were not to my liking but people were there seemed to be getting something. The basic elements were in all groups that are in a real AA meeting. There was service, love and a message being carried.

None of the above messages would have offended me in general, for a topic discussion in AA, since AA is a spiritual solution-based recovery program. (and especially since I personally am very eastern and lean into mysticism)

As I understand it, The message of AA IS about how God/Spirit-centeredness is being experienced in our lives and how that is central to remaining sober.

What was difficult for me to bear was the use of another book to do a so-called AA Step Study. The AA Steps ARE the way to have conscious contact with one's higher power, to know one's true self and to live these principles in all one's affairs.

The workbook I was exposed to was psychobabble. It was opposed to spiritual solutions.

Now, however, i am moving along. But Thanks Steve, for sharing what you did.

[tomvlll]

miss C;

I look at as follows:

On the one hand, I take the AA traditions very seriously because I feel it is every AA member's duty to pass on , to a suffering alcoholic, the AA program that was made available to me.

On the other hand, I don't want to get all bent of shape every time somebody does something contrary to an AA tradition or something that is clearly not part of the AA program as outlined in the book.

I think too many people fall short on the first point because the second is the '"easier , softer way".

I agree with what you did and admire you for doing it.

[navysteve]

The only step guide I can use is the Big Book. On a personal note, I find many things add to my recovery, but my respect for the tradtions means that I leave some things at the door to my meeting.

[keithj]

Originally Posted by miss communicat

What would you do in a similar situation?

It would depend on how much consent I had with the members. I applaud what you did because I think we do need to stand up for the principles and traditions. But, I'm reluctant to tell other groups of which I'm not a member how they should run their meetings. It's just none of my business.

On the other hand, I would not change my message to suit their comfort level. The AA program of recovery is the suggested 12 steps. That's it. My experience of recovery comes from those 12 steps as outlined in the book. If someone else's experience comes from something else, that's all good and well. But it's not AA.

So, you either become involved and help that group become an AA group, or you use your efforts elsewhere. I honestly don't know which does more good or where I can be most useful. So I pray about things like this and some direction is indicated, and I do my best to carry that out.

And at the end of the day, I've used the solution of AA in my life. I'm sober and happy and what happens in any particular situation doesn't matter because the solution was used. The outcome is irrelevant.