Went to a meeting last night

[firestorm090]

Considering all of the questions I've raised over the last couple days, I decided to go to a meeting last night to check it out for myself, since I haven't been to one in over five years. Truth is, I really enjoyed it. And there were more people there than I've ever seen, approximately fifty people. Seems we have a lot of drunks around here, lol.

After the meeting was over, the nicest thing happened to me. I was outside having a smoke and a guy came up to me and introduced himself, which I did in kind. He told me he hasn't had a drink in over eighteen years and that he comes to this meeting every week. He moved into this area about three years ago and seem to really like it here. Anyway, I told him a little about what I experienced my first time around over five years ago, and he said it took him several attempts in-and-out before it finally started working for him. He asked me if I had a BB, to which I replied that I had tossed it years ago, so then this guy goes back in and insists on buying me another one. I had money, and was planning to buy my own, but he said it's his way of giving back part of what was given to him. Now, that to me is walking the walk and was really amazing to see in action. Then, we talked for about an hour while leaning up against my car, and he told me something I've heard a thousand times, but it finally clicked this time, and that is to take what you need and leave the rest. Huh, geez, sometimes I'm really slow. Anyway, we exchanged numbers and are going to dinner tomorrow night (going dutch, lol.) to celebrate my thirty days, then we're going to a meeting out of town that he likes. I always like road trips, so it should be fun. All-in-all, I found a new friend and now have a BB, so it was a really good night.

Guess I'll start at page one and try this again. Maybe it will work this time, I'm sure going to give it the ole college try!

Despite the dust I stirred up over the last couple days, I did learn a lot from all of you who responded to my requests for help. I am grateful for all of your help, because now I am more open minded and want to make this work. I know thirty days is just a grain of sand in time, but it's more time without a drink than I've had in the last five years, so something is working here. I'm going to try my best to stick with what works, and hopefully make a few friends along the way.

[keithj]

Sounds fantastic. Just might be one of those guys that lives a solution out of that book.

Remember, "take what you need and leave the rest," is best applied to what you hear in meetings, not the directions in the book. Often, I don't know what I need, or am resistant to hear the truth of what I need. Best of luck to you on this journey.

[trucker]

im convinced the answers to your dilema will be in that book.

great to hear your meeting experience.........

This is a great place to ask questions about the big book and whats in it.

Dont be afraid to ask........i did ..........plenty.

God be with you...........trucker

[NoelleR]

Hey firestorm090 ---

Goodonya....for giving AA meetings anmother chance; being open enough to at least give it a try....so many are so full of misinformation and resentment before they even give AA a try, they miss out on a great chance for their lives.....again, goodonya..... (o:

I remember what was pounded into my head early on in my recovery in AA (I got a pretty hard head....lol), and what was pounded was what I like to think of as a cornerstone of my recovery, and my thoughts about AA, and all recovery programs, for that matter.....and that cornerstone thinking is for me the HOW in 'how it works' ......: Honesty; Openmindedness; and Willingness.

I noted a couple of things in your OP, I just want to 'touch' on--just a couple of suggestions for ya, not a big deal, and hopefully not contorversial (LOL).

1) You said, regarding your reading the BB, "...Guess I'll start at page one and try this again..." .....your use 'page one' may be just your way of saying 'at the beginning' but......just in case, might I suggest.....there's lots of great stuff 'before' page one.....therefore, might I suggest you start (depending on your printing) your reading on page xi......? At the risk of being tarred 'n feathered, might I make one more small suggestion for you while reading the BB....? Beside the BB, you might also want to have a dictionary close by. Now, I'm not suggesting anthing about your intelligence, just that it was suggested to me, and I found it an invaluable addition....just in case I wasn't sure on the writer's intent, or perhaps his definition of a word might be different than mine..... (o:

2) Hey, not only did you get yourself to a meeting, but you got a phone number.....terrific! My sponsor made a good suggestion (a two-parter) to me regarding phone numbers and the phone, and I'll pass it on to you. It was suggested to me that I get at least two new phone numbers at each meeting I attended (and in early recovery; I was out of work; I attended a lot of meetings....lol). The second part of the suggestion was a wee bit more difficult for me, but turned out to be really good for me. The second part was that I was to call three people every day, and answering machines and voicemail didn't count. I had to actually speak to a live person....aaaaacccckkkkk!!! Now, I didn't have to have long and involved conversations with these folks; I could get away with just, "Hi, this is Noelle (insert youir name here, or you can use mine, whatever....LOL), and this is just one of my AA calls for the day," and then I could just quickly hang-up. What this does is kinda like what I learned to do while shooting (got into this in my old age, and you know how us Texans are with our guns....lol); lots and lots of practice, especially with stance, where my hand were, shoulders square...etc.; what this does is build 'muscle memory' and making these calls daily does the same thing; if something dangerous happens in your sobriety, your 'muscle memory' will automatically kick in, and you'll be making those all-important phone calls before you realize it-----and that can be a life-saving thing.

OK, well those are my suggestions for ya (along with a whole lotta reading....lol); I hope you get and stay soberm using AA, or whatever program works for you.......and BTW....CONGRATS on your 30 days!!!...that's quite an accomplishment. A funny thing happened to me in early recovery; the folks with years of abstinence didn't faze me, but those with 30 DAYS....? How did they do that.....? (it never occored to me that those with years did 30 days too....lol---great logical mind I got, ain't I.....LOLOL).

You keep on truckin' and I'll see you trudgin' the road of happy destiny.... (o:


NoelleR

[CarolD]

I'm so pleased you did go.....

My AA friends enhance my recovery daily


Congratulations on your sober time....

[Charmie]

firestorm! this is fabulous news! i am so pleased for you! noelles suggestions are a little like what was suggested to me too,,also something that i heard and put into practise,was,if you speak to a couple AAers and read some literature of a morning you have a very good chance of having a sober day.you are in my thoughts and welcome to the fellowship!

[bballdad]

sounds great to me
I wish you the best

[firestorm090]

Well, once again my "thanks button" is broken, so I'm gonna reach through this screen and rip it out, cause it doesn't work half the time, lol.

I feel good about where I am today, worked out a couple of resentments and went back to try AA again, and had a good experience. I have a better attitude, mainly because the bottle bashed my head in enough to make me realize that death was better than getting my head bashed in everyday. Self-abuse, what's up with that?? I still fail to comprehend why I put myself through so much misery, must have a few screws loose, lol.

Anyway, I appreciate all of your comments and support. The phone thing may take some time, but I am going to try it. I have one number and hope to get a couple more tomorrow night. I've noticed that the smaller the phone, the heavier it gets, wonder why that is? My cell is the size of a credit card, but feels like a thousand lbs. at times.

I read a little this morning, and must confess, it was a story out of the back, so now I have to jump back to the beginning, hey stop screaming at me, I'm just another hard-headed drunk, lol. Seriously, I plan to read from the beginning, at page xi as suggested, and we'll see how it goes.

The support here is fabulous and desperately needed today, because I just received a fat check and the bells are ringing in my head already. That's why I'm here.

[Charmie]

its ok to go and read the stories at the back!!!! i do! it gives us identification.