First time speaking, help!

[Pagekeeper]

I've been asked to speak and have never done so. I'm terribly nervous in front of crowds--I barely share at meetings for this very reason. My voice shakes, my LEGS shake, my mind goes completely blank!

But I said yes, that I would speak. And I will. There are 2 birthdays that night and the speaker last year told me the place was jam-packed.

Do you think it would be totally corny if I brought index cards? I know the index cars would make me feel less nervous because if my mind went blank I could just look at the card and see where I was in my story.

Suggestions appreciated!

[lis79]

Sounds like you've got everything under control! I wouldn't worry bout anything!! xoxo
Only use the cards if you think you'll forget what you want to say...

[tommyk]

Definitely use the cards.

Remember that you there to 'carry the message' and tell the truth.

It has been often said that you'll never forget what to say if you simply tell the truth.

[trucker]

Scary stuff......but no more scary than some of the stuff i got up to while drinking...

For me.....its important to to focus on how i got sober and stay sober..
i talk alot about god and the program because sometimes i dont hear enough about it.

I dont mention my childhood....or slip into war stories.

Your gonna be fine.....good luck........................trucker

[Music]

Ask your HP to help you to express rather than impress. Index cards are ok, but if you have quiet time before your speak and remember what happened, what it was like, and what it's like now, I'm sure you'll have plenty to talk about. Break a leg!!

[RobbyRobot]

Originally Posted by Pagekeeper

I've been asked to speak and have never done so. I'm terribly nervous in front of crowds--I barely share at meetings for this very reason. My voice shakes, my LEGS shake, my mind goes completely blank!

But I said yes, that I would speak. And I will. There are 2 birthdays that night and the speaker last year told me the place was jam-packed.

Do you think it would be totally corny if I brought index cards? I know the index cars would make me feel less nervous because if my mind went blank I could just look at the card and see where I was in my story.

Suggestions appreciated!

i've spoken dozens and dozens of times at meetings, and its really empowering to have the privlidge to speak out. Sometimes the meeting crowd is attentive, other times not. no matter.

just be yourself, Page. Sure bring cards, if that is you. as a matter of fact, no problem just saying exactly what you told us... it has some mirth in it, some honesty about the situation, and its totally you in real life! it's fine and good to go! also, the crowd listening has it's job, and they want to do well at their end too. alot of them would have the same feelings up there has you will have!

relax. thousands of meetings happen eveyday all over the world. i hope things go very well for you, Page!

RR

[Mark75]

I spoke for the first time last Sunday. I had all this stuff I was gonna say, thought about taking notecards...

That morning, I prayed.... I realized that I needed to speak the truth about me, how the topic I was speaking on (2nd step) made a difference in my life... I through my notes out and decided to just let it come out, there would be no right or wrong.

I am glad I did, ... it was far from perfect, .... but there were some in the meeting that could relate to what I said, and told me so afterward.

Speak from your heart, not your brain. If you do that, and those at the meeting see that you are, because you will be, it will be alright!! Just let it out.

Mark

[Ago]

Originally Posted by Music

Ask your HP to help you to express rather than impress. Index cards are ok, but if you have quiet time before your speak and remember what happened, what it was like, and what it's like now, I'm sure you'll have plenty to talk about. Break a leg!!

You'll be fine

we ALL get wobbly, and have a "fear" of public speaking, I STILL do and I've probably had to "chair" or "pitch" ...I don't know...50? 100? times

I agree with what Music Says, I pray beforehand, what I also used to do, is:

The "format" is "What it was like, what happened, and what it's like now"

The biggest "crime" or "faux paus" a speaker ever makes is they are still "drunk" when "time is up", so when I was new I would start out with "what it's like now" just in case I "went over" (time) and truthfully, that always lead effortlessly to "what it was like", but that way, if you look up and see you only have five minutes left you have covered at least part of "what it was like"

The thing to remember is it's not "about you" it's about "carrying the message", I can never remember what I said, but I always remember what I forgot to say (my ego talking) but we never know what we say will be helpful to others, be a "channel" and just "tell your truth" and if you say one thing that one person "hears", you are a success.

that's it.

one thing that one person relates to.

We never know what thing will be, so go knock em dead kiddo, and be sure to come tell us how it all went.

For me, I also find that people "hear" things as they relate to "me" better then the "speakers" that try to "preach". As in "this is what happened for me" rather then "this is what you should do". We have sponsors to "tell us what to do" as it were, my job when I am speaking is to get a newcomer to "identify"

There are "speakers" that got sober before God that can do that and be effective but they are rare, and frankly that takes practice, it's best to remember this is where we share "our" "experience, strength and hope" not somebody else's.

A wordy response which can be summed up in three words actually.

"You'll be fine"

[gravity]

Some things that help me get through situations that I initially think are difficult:


Perspective:

I think about the people in my life who have faced or are facing real challenges. My father-in-law has cancer. My mother-in-law recently had a heart attack. My best friend died of cancer 9 years ago when he was 33 years old - his mother and sisters grief.

My own challenges that I have overcome. The passing of my father two years ago.

My bigger accomplishments. Fatherhood. Education. Sobriety.

Why I am doing it:

To help others. With respect to speaking at AA meetings, my thoughts are always with the newcomer and people who are struggling. It's not so much about me.

My Higher Power:

Is with me always. Gives me strength to accomplish what I need to.


When I look at it this way, it's not so much a challenge, rather an honour. Speak from your heart. You will be just fine.

[RufusACanal]

You are among friends in every meeting.

[sugErspun]

I hate speaking in groups or in front of groups..but I have been asked on more than one occassion to do so and of course I was nervous, frightened etc.

The practical thing I did was get quiet by myself beforehand (prayer really) and go to it. The first time my sponsor asked me to be a lead speaker I was told a week in advance..I explained that I would have preferred about 2 minutes notice but now I will have time to make an outline (index cards..). He said "Good, show them to me just before you start so I can tear them up". It was light-hearted on both our parts but it go to the point.

If I have given my will and life over to the care of god, and I am speaking to pass on my experience with alcoholism and recovery ~ there is nothing to fear. The nervousness, shaky legs and hands all went away after about 2 minutes and apparantely some people think I was actually a good speaker.

Imagine that.

Stick to the facts and you will be fine.

[BP44]

I believe that if you are in AA, there is someone who needs to hear your story. As well, I also believe that if I am asked to tell my story that there is someone in the room that needs to hear it. So, I always pray before hand that whoever needs to hear my story will hear the message. I also like to work with the set aside prayer whenever speaking, leading discussion, and working with another alcoholic. "God, please, set aside everything I think I know about the Big Book, the 12 steps, myself and You, God, for an open mind and a new experience". It's about His love, His power and His way of life. When I'm focused there, I can't go wrong. I was asked to tell my story when I was about 9 months sober at a beginners meeting about an hour before the meeting. I really wanted to spend a good deal of time on what it's like now. As luck would have it I looked up at the clock and had about 10-15 minutes left and I said, " Oh ****, I need to get sober" My sponsor said afterward, that I did a fine job. He said that more drunkalogue than what it's like now was fine for my first time cause my home group now knew a lot more about me. He said, besides, you don't have a whole lot of what it's like now to share in comparison to what it was like and what happened. After doing it the first time I now know what can be trimmed in my story. You'll do fine. I've never done anything in AA that I was 100% comfortable with.

[navysteve]

Our stories disclose in a general way...

Where have I heard that before?

The template is on page 58. Tell them what it was like, what happened, and what it is like today. And remember, no matter what anyone says, you can say no if you feel like it is too much. I never volunteered to speak until I had over ten years sober. Fear had me that much. Folks in AA would tell me all the BS like you can't say no...

Yes you can, but it is a great honor to get to tell your story in an AA meeting. HOpe you can find a way and hope you carry your message.

[Pagekeeper]

Thanks for the thoughts. Appreciate them.

:ghug2

[AW2486]

Remember who your audience is. It's not a bunch of Harvard professors. Just a few drunks that are happy as hell you’re sober, and are interested how you have done it.

Good luck.