Aa???????? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

louis · 03-30-2009, 12:06 PM

I am really confused by AA.
I haven't been to many meetings... i am still going though... i am meeting up with someone to try and help me but thought i would ask here too.

When i live my life... i need plans, reasons things are happening the way they are or why i am doing whatever it is... (not sure that makes sense)

I go to meetings and listen... i spoke acouple of times too... i can identify with what some others are saying but as soon as i walk out the door its gone...

Then what???

What am i meant to be doing??????

Whats meant to be happening in my head OTHER than complete and utter confusion????

I have been reading the big book and someone gave me a *little big book* (pocket size) to read, which i carry around and read... but i am just not geting what i am meant to be doing from it.... again i can relate to whats being said in it but am then confused about the next step...

Sorry abit long ad maybe repetative.

Be well
louis

PaulN · 03-30-2009, 12:24 PM

Just a few questions ...

How long have you been in AA?

In going to meetings, do you hear things you can relate to based upon your past experiences? If so, that's good

Has anyone offered to read the Big book with you? I wasn't real good at reading it alone myself, I came away more confused than before I started reading it! If no one has offered, at your next meeting, ask if some one of the same sex would be willing to do that with you. I'm guessing, but if you get a taker, I think you'll sense some immediate relief ... another good thing

The book does a wonderful job at explaining what the problem is, let's us know we're not alone, and then provides a single solution on how we (if alcoholic) can too experience what they authors tell us they experienced, if we simply follow some suggestions they provide us.

My experience ... when I first went through the big book (alone), I found myself getting stuck on some keywords. Having another AA read it with me and discuss his EXPERIENCE, helped me not get stuck any more. There were still things I didn't understand but I trusted and kept going forward. That whole more will be revealed thing.

I wish you the best of luck and hope at your next meeting, you make that request to have someone read the book with you.

CAPTAINZING2000 · 03-30-2009, 12:25 PM

Go to a meeting and listen to everyone share. Try and ask a member that, has several years of sobriety to be your sponsor. They can help you on your program !!

SelfSeeking · 03-30-2009, 12:25 PM

Sponsor. Get one. A good one. Stepwork baby stepwork! Otherwise it's just crappy coffee!

louis · 03-30-2009, 12:41 PM

Thanks...
Ive only been going about two months... actually once a week.
I spoke to someone the other day and they are going to meet me and talk.
I just feel i am not doing something i meant to... and its making me think that maybe its not for me thats why i am not getting it.
The book is really confusing though... i dont understand some of the words in it but will ask.

I think i am too new and dont know anyone well enogh to ask to be a sponser

Thanks

Be well
louis

CAPTAINZING2000 · 03-30-2009, 12:43 PM

Got a question for you?

Can you make more then one meeting a week??

louis · 03-30-2009, 12:50 PM

I probably could if i really tried... maybe one more
I work alot (shifts)... i use my work so i dont drink... its helped so far... but im gettin tired and am not giving my best to work..
I am not good in new situations so have mainly stuck to the same meeting...

I know as i am writing this it seems one excuse after another.

***nandm*** · 03-30-2009, 12:57 PM

Here is what worked for me.

Got a sponsor. Someone who could help me understand the program and walk me through the Steps
Learned that I needed to apply the Steps and Principles to all areas of my life, not just my alcoholism.
Made the commitment to try and spend half as much time in AA meetings as I did drinking.
Made myself come to meetings at least 15 minutes early and stay 15 minutes after the meeting. This allowed me to meet people and start becoming more involved in the program
Got a service position. Started secretarying a meeting.
Listened for the similarities and asked lots of questions.

CAPTAINZING2000 · 03-30-2009, 12:58 PM

When, I first came into AA, I asked how long do I need to go to meetings?

I was told, to keep going to meetings until, I want to go to meetings.

Early in recovery, I placed as much effort in my recovery as, I did on my drinking

louis · 03-30-2009, 01:03 PM

So will it just click one day?
Not meaning to be a pest here.
Please dont think i dont care because i dont go to more meetings... i really struggle ftf with people... and im not saying i am unique in this.
I know i cant have it written in stone and the experience is different for everyone... but i really wish it was written down in stone... id understand it then.

Thankyou for your replys and time.

collinsmi · 03-30-2009, 01:08 PM

The 12 steps, that's what's missing. Doing them is more complicated and involved than it would appear from reading that list of them on pages 59-60. That's what a sponsor is for. A sponsor guides you through the steps. The steps are the process that allows you to lead a sober life.

CAPTAINZING2000 · 03-30-2009, 01:16 PM

Let's put this in terms that's easy to grasp

i can't recall the exact age i learned to ride a bike. I kept trying, kept falling over. I had found out, my girl cousin was riding her bike without training wheels. Even at a young age, I didn't want her riding a bike and i couldn't

the point I'm trying to make, how good you are at something is determined by what, you're willing to put into it.

You always found time to drink didn't you? I always found time anyway!!!

louis · 03-30-2009, 01:23 PM

Yeah...
Ok i get it... stick at it...
I will... i really want to get this and really do think it will help.

Thankyou all

Be well
louis

collinsmi · 03-30-2009, 01:25 PM

In the beginning of my sobriety I would do as little as possible. It wasn't a conscious decision I made, that's just the way things played out. Probably it was an unconscious decision!

It wasn't enough. I was wore out, scared and desperate enough to follow my sponsor's suggestions to do more, and I didn't have to drink again. Slowly, my perceptions of my life began to change, and less chaos came in. Things got better. Oh, and at some point (I don't know when or how) the desire to drink left!

louis · 03-30-2009, 01:31 PM

I realise now why they say get to as many meetings a you can.....
I will gt it... i know i will...
Im just probably being a brat... wanting it now if not y'day...
Whatever it is!!!

Thanks again

CAPTAINZING2000 · 03-30-2009, 01:34 PM

Let me tell you something

Everyone looks for the easier softer way.

I didn't get to be a full blown alcoholic over night, I didn't get to be wonderfully well over night either

laurie6781 · 03-30-2009, 03:11 PM

Louis something else that may be happening, as not only did it happen to me, but I have seen it happen with many I have and do sponsor.

It took me until almost 6 months before things started making any sense at all. My head was so full of fog and MUSH that nothing seemed to compute for very long. I could read a sentence in the Big Book and it made sense while I was reading it, but by the time I got to the end of the sentence I could not tell you what it said. lol

Just took time for my head to start to clear. That however, did not stop me from attending as many meetings as I could a week. The meetings are what saved me at first. It was in the meetings that I felt SAFE. It was in the meetings that I found folks who had gone through or were going through exactly what I was. It was in the meetings that I started to see the MIRACLES. When folks smiled the smile went all the way to their eyes, and when they laughed or cried, it came all the way from the core of their being. And in the meetings was where I found out how to LIVE sober. How to put some balance in my life. How to make time for meetings, and still work, and still pay off all those old debts, etc.

So, hang in there, find a sponsor, get to as many meetings as you can, and pretty soon things will start to make more sense and your head won't be so fogged in.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

Charmie · 03-30-2009, 05:44 PM

hello louis,i introduced myself the other day,,i would like to tell you my experience and see if it helps you.i went to AA nearly four years ago and went h*ll for leather at the steps and the big book,,i went back out and drank for 3 and a half very unpleasant years.i went at AA alcoholically with a still wet brain! i did it my way and wanted everything yesterday! i went back to AA at the begining of janaury this year and i am doing it differently and boy what a difference! i am keeping it simple! i attend lots of meetings,(think how much time u put into drinking?) i have phone numbers and found it hard to use them at the begining but now i am making good friends from using them,ask questions and never feel silly,,remember all the people there have the same illness as you and have probably heard it all before! and the big one! listen,,i myself know how difficult this is,,as long as you try it will start sinking in,,dont worry at first if your not taking it in,this is not unusual,when the time is right i will get a sponsor and start working on the steps.for now i am giving myself time to sober up so i can take it in properly.there is a little card that you should be able to get your hands on called just for today,,this has AA principles for living in it that are very easy to follow for now.and keep it simple,,very important.i have some peace and contentment already and its wonderful.i hope i have helped.

NoelleR · 03-31-2009, 03:21 AM

“...The book is really confusing though... i dont understand some of the words in it but will ask....”

“...Whatever it is!!!...”

“...The 12 steps, that's what's missing. Doing them is more complicated and involved than it would appear from reading that list of them on pages 59-60. That's what a sponsor is for. A sponsor guides you through the steps. The steps are the process that allows you to lead a sober life...”

“...I didn't get to be a full blown alcoholic over night, I didn't get to be wonderfully well over night either...”

Nandm---
“...Here is what worked for me.
Got a sponsor. Someone who could help me understand the program and walk me through the Steps
Learned that I needed to apply the Steps and Principles to all areas of my life, not just my alcoholism.
Made the commitment to try and spend half as much time in AA meetings as I did drinking.
Made myself come to meetings at least 15 minutes early and stay 15 minutes after the meeting. This allowed me to meet people and start becoming more involved in the program
Got a service position. Started secretarying a meeting.
Listened for the similarities and asked lots of questions...”

laurie6781---
“...Louis something else that may be happening, as not only did it happen to me, but I have seen it happen with many I have and do sponsor.

It took me until almost 6 months before things started making any sense at all. My head was so full of fog and MUSH that nothing seemed to compute for very long. I could read a sentence in the Big Book and it made sense while I was reading it, but by the time I got to the end of the sentence I could not tell you what it said. lol

Just took time for my head to start to clear. That however, did not stop me from attending as many meetings as I could a week. The meetings are what saved me at first. It was in the meetings that I felt SAFE. It was in the meetings that I found folks who had gone through or were going through exactly what I was. It was in the meetings that I started to see the MIRACLES. When folks smiled the smile went all the way to their eyes, and when they laughed or cried, it came all the way from the core of their being. And in the meetings was where I found out how to LIVE sober. How to put some balance in my life. How to make time for meetings, and still work, and still pay off all those old debts, etc.

So, hang in there, find a sponsor, get to as many meetings as you can, and pretty soon things will start to make more sense and your head won't be so fogged in.

J M H O...”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

Hey Louis---

You’ve gotten some really great replies here. I‘ve copied some of them above, as these are all suggestions that I have used, and they were effective for me....nandm and laurie6781, as always, giving clear and concise suggestions, being kind and courteous, and of course coming from their own ES&H (always the best source).

I do have a couple of suggestions of my own, and for this first one, plz read to the end, I do apologize in advance....When I read what you wrote regarding the Big Book being confusing, and having words that you did not understand.....I heard this shrieking in my head, “GET A DICTIONARY,” and I realized immediately I was hearing my mother’s voice, as I had heard it so many times as I was growing up.....BUT, not to be offensive, I remembered that when I sat down to read the Big Book with someone (or even to read it alone), I always had another book on the table------a dictionary. So, my suggestion a for you would be, yes, get a dictionary, and have it handy when reading the BB (there are words in there that aren’t used much nowadays)....heck, I have both a dictionary and a thesaurus sitting on my desk, and a couple online/downloaded too. I have 20+ years, and there are many times I need to look up words, for their meaning, or spelling (‘especially’ when reading the BB--with it’s soooo up-to-date verbiage. LOLOL

....And one more minor suggestion, if I may....a suggestion that was made to me by my sponsor, and one I make to most (all?) newcomers I meet.....at every meeting you go to get at least two (2) new phone numbers, and you need to call at least three (3) folks each day. Now, these calls that you make; voicemail/answering machines do NOT count. You must speak to a live person. Now, before you throw your hands up in the air in surrender/defeat, believe me, it’s a lot easier than it sounds. You don’t have to have a lengthy conversation with the other person, just something simple like, “Hi, this is Noelle, and this is just one of my AA calls for the day,” and then you can hang up.....see....? Simple. If you’re having trouble getting three live persons, calling your local AA Intergroup hotline can be used as one of your calls.....And, who knows, you might just get the hang of it, and start enjoying these daily calls. I learned early on in my daily calls that it’s NOT just about me. I called, and rattled off my shpeel, and was just in the process of hanging up when I heard the other person say, “Oh, thank God, you’re an answer to this girl’s prayers. I was just sitting here contemplating giving this whole sobriety thing the ole heave ho and going out and getting completely *$&%^$%#@#!@-faced and !@#%&^$-up and the heck with everything/everyone/every whoever/every whatever...and...blah, blah, blah, blah.....and here you call. Perfect timing; thank you.” Well, what do you now about; it really ISN’T ‘all about me‘..... LOLOL Anyway, as I said earlier; this is just a suggestion, but it sure helped me. Plus, if there ever came a time when I needed help, I had the numbers, and I’d lost my fear of dialing....

Well, Louis, I guess that’s enough rambling for me. Oh, well, perhaps just one more eensy, teensy, weensy, teeny, tiny, li’ll ole thang.....the ‘IT’ to which you refer....? As I said earlier, I have 20+ years clean/sober, and most of my recovered friends have the same, and then some, and we’d all be hard-pressed to define/explain just what ‘IT’ is....LOLOL Shoot, do I have ‘it,’ did I lose ‘it,’ did I then find ‘it,’ do I even want ‘it.’ I guess I’ll just have to get over ‘it;’ forget about ‘it;’ deal with ‘it’ if I ever find out what ‘it’ is, but until then I think I’ll just relax and just enjoy ‘it.’ .....and, if I may, my suggestion would be for you to do the same.....LOLOL

For now, Louis, I just hope you continue to post here, keep going to your meetings and listening, and maybe gathering a support around you. Perhaps you could even attempt some of the suggestions you’ve received here (NOT all of them at once.....lol.....a person could hurt themselves trying that). I’ll bet that in no time you’ll begin to feeling different, better even. Heck, you might even hear yourself saying, “By george, I think I’ve got it!” (o: LOLOLOLOL

Have fun, Louis, and I’ll see you on this road of happy destiny.....

NoelleR
DOS: 6/23/86

louis · 03-31-2009, 02:28 PM

Hi laurie... Charmian... NoelleR.... Nandm...

Thankyou for your replies... i was going to reply one at a time... but to tell the truth i was abit overwhelmed by your responses and my mind has gone a bit of a blank.
My head feels very foggy just now... and i think maybe thats why i am so confused about things... i need to give myself time...

and yes... I need to get off my backside and start working at this to get any benefit.

I have 2 numbers that were given to me... and have used them... one i use daily... even if just a text to say how you doin?... I really do get the good feeling when i speak to the person i phone when we speak though... epecially if they are having a hard time... it makes me feel better that i may have helped... even just being there to listen to them..
I guess thats the bit of getting out of yourself...

I made a decision.. especially after your advice... to go to more meetings... and that has been confirmed by you guys and others here... I know for me to help myself... i have to listen and do what you have done... as it obviously works for so many.

I am not sure i could ask people for there number but i will give it a go.

I need not to let this beat me...

Sorry... i want to say more but dont have the words in me just now...

NoelleR:... Dictionary is on the shopping list for this week

Thankyou again... i really appreciate it

Be well
louis

pinetree · 03-31-2009, 02:53 PM

Hello, new to posting here. I would have to concur with the others about the importance of meetings for me, especially those first few years. I tried to make a meeting every day. I won't into it, but I was a very sick person. My sponsor would tell me to revolve my day around a meeting. In the beginning those hours I was at the meetings were the only time I had any peace.
Pinetree

shaun00 · 03-31-2009, 08:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SelfSeeking

Sponsor. Get one. A good one. Stepwork baby stepwork! Otherwise it's just crappy coffee!

..man sometimes the shortest replys are the most profound.

Thats it.....youve found the fellowship....now work the program of recovery with someone that works the program of recovery out of that little book you got..

God be with you.........hold on tight girl this is the bit where it gets real good.

trucker

Cathy31 · 04-01-2009, 06:48 AM

Well done Louis - you keep doing what you doing follow suggestions, be open minded increase those meetings, get that dictionary and get a sponsor - you'll see the miracle will happen for you. Well done for speaking up and not suffering in silence! there is something to 'get' and it's realyl beautiful!
Cathy31
c

endzoner · 04-01-2009, 06:49 AM

hi Louis , I struggle with understanding while im reading , the Bigbook i do read but i struggle with it , What helped me understand it alot more then I did , was reading the 12 steps and 12 traditions, its a shorter version of the BB . try reading that mite help you grasp the BB a lil better . I know isntead of reading much stuff that I dont get .. it helps me by just getting to the point of the steps . if that makes any sence . But someone suggested it to me and it sure helped , Now today when i make a step meeting i just glance thu my 12x12 book and im able to get it lots easy , and ive highlited lots in the book . hope maybe that will help yah its just my 2 pennys ..

03-30-2009, 12:06 PM	#1 (permalink)
louis Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways! Posts: 1,138	Aa???????? I am really confused by AA. I haven't been to many meetings... i am still going though... i am meeting up with someone to try and help me but thought i would ask here too. When i live my life... i need plans, reasons things are happening the way they are or why i am doing whatever it is... (not sure that makes sense) I go to meetings and listen... i spoke acouple of times too... i can identify with what some others are saying but as soon as i walk out the door its gone... Then what??? What am i meant to be doing?????? Whats meant to be happening in my head OTHER than complete and utter confusion???? I have been reading the big book and someone gave me a little big book (pocket size) to read, which i carry around and read... but i am just not geting what i am meant to be doing from it.... again i can relate to whats being said in it but am then confused about the next step... Sorry abit long ad maybe repetative. Be well louis

03-30-2009, 12:24 PM	#2 (permalink)
PaulN Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: IL Posts: 108	Just a few questions ... How long have you been in AA? In going to meetings, do you hear things you can relate to based upon your past experiences? If so, that's good Has anyone offered to read the Big book with you? I wasn't real good at reading it alone myself, I came away more confused than before I started reading it! If no one has offered, at your next meeting, ask if some one of the same sex would be willing to do that with you. I'm guessing, but if you get a taker, I think you'll sense some immediate relief ... another good thing The book does a wonderful job at explaining what the problem is, let's us know we're not alone, and then provides a single solution on how we (if alcoholic) can too experience what they authors tell us they experienced, if we simply follow some suggestions they provide us. My experience ... when I first went through the big book (alone), I found myself getting stuck on some keywords. Having another AA read it with me and discuss his EXPERIENCE, helped me not get stuck any more. There were still things I didn't understand but I trusted and kept going forward. That whole more will be revealed thing. I wish you the best of luck and hope at your next meeting, you make that request to have someone read the book with you. __________________ ------------------------------------------------------ Any Big Book quotes made are from the 1st Ed. ------------------------------------------------------ I can't, He can, I think I'll let Him.

03-30-2009, 12:25 PM	#3 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,445 Blog Entries: 1	Go to a meeting and listen to everyone share. Try and ask a member that, has several years of sobriety to be your sponsor. They can help you on your program !! __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

03-30-2009, 12:43 PM	#6 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,445 Blog Entries: 1	Got a question for you? Can you make more then one meeting a week?? __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

03-30-2009, 12:57 PM	#8 (permalink)
*nandm* Life the gift of recovery! Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Home is where the heart is Posts: 6,580	Here is what worked for me. Got a sponsor. Someone who could help me understand the program and walk me through the Steps Learned that I needed to apply the Steps and Principles to all areas of my life, not just my alcoholism. Made the commitment to try and spend half as much time in AA meetings as I did drinking. Made myself come to meetings at least 15 minutes early and stay 15 minutes after the meeting. This allowed me to meet people and start becoming more involved in the program Got a service position. Started secretarying a meeting. Listened for the similarities and asked lots of questions. __________________ NOTE: All BB quotes are from the 1st Edition of the Big Book Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.

03-30-2009, 12:25 PM	#4 (permalink)
SelfSeeking Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Northeast US Posts: 1,341 Blog Entries: 2	Sponsor. Get one. A good one. Stepwork baby stepwork! Otherwise it's just crappy coffee!

03-30-2009, 12:41 PM	#5 (permalink)
louis Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways! Posts: 1,138	Thanks... Ive only been going about two months... actually once a week. I spoke to someone the other day and they are going to meet me and talk. I just feel i am not doing something i meant to... and its making me think that maybe its not for me thats why i am not getting it. The book is really confusing though... i dont understand some of the words in it but will ask. I think i am too new and dont know anyone well enogh to ask to be a sponser Thanks Be well louis

03-30-2009, 12:50 PM	#7 (permalink)
louis Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways! Posts: 1,138	I probably could if i really tried... maybe one more I work alot (shifts)... i use my work so i dont drink... its helped so far... but im gettin tired and am not giving my best to work.. I am not good in new situations so have mainly stuck to the same meeting... I know as i am writing this it seems one excuse after another.

03-30-2009, 12:58 PM	#9 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,445 Blog Entries: 1	When, I first came into AA, I asked how long do I need to go to meetings? I was told, to keep going to meetings until, I want to go to meetings. Early in recovery, I placed as much effort in my recovery as, I did on my drinking __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

03-30-2009, 01:03 PM	#10 (permalink)
louis Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways! Posts: 1,138	So will it just click one day? Not meaning to be a pest here. Please dont think i dont care because i dont go to more meetings... i really struggle ftf with people... and im not saying i am unique in this. I know i cant have it written in stone and the experience is different for everyone... but i really wish it was written down in stone... id understand it then. Thankyou for your replys and time.

03-30-2009, 01:08 PM	#11 (permalink)
collinsmi Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Colorado Springs CO Posts: 889	The 12 steps, that's what's missing. Doing them is more complicated and involved than it would appear from reading that list of them on pages 59-60. That's what a sponsor is for. A sponsor guides you through the steps. The steps are the process that allows you to lead a sober life. __________________ "I was violating my standards faster than I could lower them!"

03-30-2009, 01:16 PM	#12 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,445 Blog Entries: 1	Let's put this in terms that's easy to grasp i can't recall the exact age i learned to ride a bike. I kept trying, kept falling over. I had found out, my girl cousin was riding her bike without training wheels. Even at a young age, I didn't want her riding a bike and i couldn't the point I'm trying to make, how good you are at something is determined by what, you're willing to put into it. You always found time to drink didn't you? I always found time anyway!!! __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

03-30-2009, 01:23 PM	#13 (permalink)
louis Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways! Posts: 1,138	Yeah... Ok i get it... stick at it... I will... i really want to get this and really do think it will help. Thankyou all Be well louis

03-30-2009, 01:25 PM	#14 (permalink)
collinsmi Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Colorado Springs CO Posts: 889	In the beginning of my sobriety I would do as little as possible. It wasn't a conscious decision I made, that's just the way things played out. Probably it was an unconscious decision! It wasn't enough. I was wore out, scared and desperate enough to follow my sponsor's suggestions to do more, and I didn't have to drink again. Slowly, my perceptions of my life began to change, and less chaos came in. Things got better. Oh, and at some point (I don't know when or how) the desire to drink left! __________________ "I was violating my standards faster than I could lower them!"

03-30-2009, 01:31 PM	#15 (permalink)
louis Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways! Posts: 1,138	I realise now why they say get to as many meetings a you can..... I will gt it... i know i will... Im just probably being a brat... wanting it now if not y'day... Whatever it is!!! Thanks again

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

03-30-2009, 01:34 PM	#16 (permalink)
CAPTAINZING2000 Psalm 118:24 Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: ILLINOIS Posts: 9,445 Blog Entries: 1	Let me tell you something Everyone looks for the easier softer way. I didn't get to be a full blown alcoholic over night, I didn't get to be wonderfully well over night either __________________ LIFE IS GOD'S GIFT TO YOU WHAT YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE IS YOUR GIFT TO GOD J - Jesus first O - Others next Y - Yourself last John 14:6

03-30-2009, 03:11 PM	#17 (permalink)
laurie6781 Belgian Sheepdog Adictee Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: In Today Posts: 4,648	Louis something else that may be happening, as not only did it happen to me, but I have seen it happen with many I have and do sponsor. It took me until almost 6 months before things started making any sense at all. My head was so full of fog and MUSH that nothing seemed to compute for very long. I could read a sentence in the Big Book and it made sense while I was reading it, but by the time I got to the end of the sentence I could not tell you what it said. lol Just took time for my head to start to clear. That however, did not stop me from attending as many meetings as I could a week. The meetings are what saved me at first. It was in the meetings that I felt SAFE. It was in the meetings that I found folks who had gone through or were going through exactly what I was. It was in the meetings that I started to see the MIRACLES. When folks smiled the smile went all the way to their eyes, and when they laughed or cried, it came all the way from the core of their being. And in the meetings was where I found out how to LIVE sober. How to put some balance in my life. How to make time for meetings, and still work, and still pay off all those old debts, etc. So, hang in there, find a sponsor, get to as many meetings as you can, and pretty soon things will start to make more sense and your head won't be so fogged in. J M H O Love and hugs, __________________ God Bless You All As You Trudge The Road Of Happy Destiny (especially when you trudgin thru alligators up to your butt)

03-30-2009, 05:44 PM	#18 (permalink)
Charmie Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,322	hello louis,i introduced myself the other day,,i would like to tell you my experience and see if it helps you.i went to AA nearly four years ago and went h*ll for leather at the steps and the big book,,i went back out and drank for 3 and a half very unpleasant years.i went at AA alcoholically with a still wet brain! i did it my way and wanted everything yesterday! i went back to AA at the begining of janaury this year and i am doing it differently and boy what a difference! i am keeping it simple! i attend lots of meetings,(think how much time u put into drinking?) i have phone numbers and found it hard to use them at the begining but now i am making good friends from using them,ask questions and never feel silly,,remember all the people there have the same illness as you and have probably heard it all before! and the big one! listen,,i myself know how difficult this is,,as long as you try it will start sinking in,,dont worry at first if your not taking it in,this is not unusual,when the time is right i will get a sponsor and start working on the steps.for now i am giving myself time to sober up so i can take it in properly.there is a little card that you should be able to get your hands on called just for today,,this has AA principles for living in it that are very easy to follow for now.and keep it simple,,very important.i have some peace and contentment already and its wonderful.i hope i have helped.

03-31-2009, 03:21 AM	#19 (permalink)
NoelleR Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 1,126	“...The book is really confusing though... i dont understand some of the words in it but will ask....” “...Whatever it is!!!...” “...The 12 steps, that's what's missing. Doing them is more complicated and involved than it would appear from reading that list of them on pages 59-60. That's what a sponsor is for. A sponsor guides you through the steps. The steps are the process that allows you to lead a sober life...” “...I didn't get to be a full blown alcoholic over night, I didn't get to be wonderfully well over night either...” Nandm--- “...Here is what worked for me. Got a sponsor. Someone who could help me understand the program and walk me through the Steps Learned that I needed to apply the Steps and Principles to all areas of my life, not just my alcoholism. Made the commitment to try and spend half as much time in AA meetings as I did drinking. Made myself come to meetings at least 15 minutes early and stay 15 minutes after the meeting. This allowed me to meet people and start becoming more involved in the program Got a service position. Started secretarying a meeting. Listened for the similarities and asked lots of questions...” laurie6781--- “...Louis something else that may be happening, as not only did it happen to me, but I have seen it happen with many I have and do sponsor. It took me until almost 6 months before things started making any sense at all. My head was so full of fog and MUSH that nothing seemed to compute for very long. I could read a sentence in the Big Book and it made sense while I was reading it, but by the time I got to the end of the sentence I could not tell you what it said. lol Just took time for my head to start to clear. That however, did not stop me from attending as many meetings as I could a week. The meetings are what saved me at first. It was in the meetings that I felt SAFE. It was in the meetings that I found folks who had gone through or were going through exactly what I was. It was in the meetings that I started to see the MIRACLES. When folks smiled the smile went all the way to their eyes, and when they laughed or cried, it came all the way from the core of their being. And in the meetings was where I found out how to LIVE sober. How to put some balance in my life. How to make time for meetings, and still work, and still pay off all those old debts, etc. So, hang in there, find a sponsor, get to as many meetings as you can, and pretty soon things will start to make more sense and your head won't be so fogged in. J M H O...” ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~ Hey Louis--- You’ve gotten some really great replies here. I‘ve copied some of them above, as these are all suggestions that I have used, and they were effective for me....nandm and laurie6781, as always, giving clear and concise suggestions, being kind and courteous, and of course coming from their own ES&H (always the best source). I do have a couple of suggestions of my own, and for this first one, plz read to the end, I do apologize in advance....When I read what you wrote regarding the Big Book being confusing, and having words that you did not understand.....I heard this shrieking in my head, “GET A DICTIONARY,” and I realized immediately I was hearing my mother’s voice, as I had heard it so many times as I was growing up.....BUT, not to be offensive, I remembered that when I sat down to read the Big Book with someone (or even to read it alone), I always had another book on the table------a dictionary. So, my suggestion a for you would be, yes, get a dictionary, and have it handy when reading the BB (there are words in there that aren’t used much nowadays)....heck, I have both a dictionary and a thesaurus sitting on my desk, and a couple online/downloaded too. I have 20+ years, and there are many times I need to look up words, for their meaning, or spelling (‘especially’ when reading the BB--with it’s soooo up-to-date verbiage. LOLOL ....And one more minor suggestion, if I may....a suggestion that was made to me by my sponsor, and one I make to most (all?) newcomers I meet.....at every meeting you go to get at least two (2) new phone numbers, and you need to call at least three (3) folks each day. Now, these calls that you make; voicemail/answering machines do NOT count. You must speak to a live person. Now, before you throw your hands up in the air in surrender/defeat, believe me, it’s a lot easier than it sounds. You don’t have to have a lengthy conversation with the other person, just something simple like, “Hi, this is Noelle, and this is just one of my AA calls for the day,” and then you can hang up.....see....? Simple. If you’re having trouble getting three live persons, calling your local AA Intergroup hotline can be used as one of your calls.....And, who knows, you might just get the hang of it, and start enjoying these daily calls. I learned early on in my daily calls that it’s NOT just about me. I called, and rattled off my shpeel, and was just in the process of hanging up when I heard the other person say, “Oh, thank God, you’re an answer to this girl’s prayers. I was just sitting here contemplating giving this whole sobriety thing the ole heave ho and going out and getting completely *$&%^$%#@#!@-faced and !@#%&^$-up and the heck with everything/everyone/every whoever/every whatever...and...blah, blah, blah, blah.....and here you call. Perfect timing; thank you.” Well, what do you now about; it really ISN’T ‘all about me‘..... LOLOL Anyway, as I said earlier; this is just a suggestion, but it sure helped me. Plus, if there ever came a time when I needed help, I had the numbers, and I’d lost my fear of dialing.... Well, Louis, I guess that’s enough rambling for me. Oh, well, perhaps just one more eensy, teensy, weensy, teeny, tiny, li’ll ole thang.....the ‘IT’ to which you refer....? As I said earlier, I have 20+ years clean/sober, and most of my recovered friends have the same, and then some, and we’d all be hard-pressed to define/explain just what ‘IT’ is....LOLOL Shoot, do I have ‘it,’ did I lose ‘it,’ did I then find ‘it,’ do I even want ‘it.’ I guess I’ll just have to get over ‘it;’ forget about ‘it;’ deal with ‘it’ if I ever find out what ‘it’ is, but until then I think I’ll just relax and just enjoy ‘it.’ .....and, if I may, my suggestion would be for you to do the same.....LOLOL For now, Louis, I just hope you continue to post here, keep going to your meetings and listening, and maybe gathering a support around you. Perhaps you could even attempt some of the suggestions you’ve received here (NOT all of them at once.....lol.....a person could hurt themselves trying that). I’ll bet that in no time you’ll begin to feeling different, better even. Heck, you might even hear yourself saying, “By george, I think I’ve got it!” (o: LOLOLOLOL Have fun, Louis, and I’ll see you on this road of happy destiny..... NoelleR DOS: 6/23/86

03-31-2009, 02:28 PM	#20 (permalink)
louis Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways! Posts: 1,138	Hi laurie... Charmian... NoelleR.... Nandm... Thankyou for your replies... i was going to reply one at a time... but to tell the truth i was abit overwhelmed by your responses and my mind has gone a bit of a blank. My head feels very foggy just now... and i think maybe thats why i am so confused about things... i need to give myself time... and yes... I need to get off my backside and start working at this to get any benefit. I have 2 numbers that were given to me... and have used them... one i use daily... even if just a text to say how you doin?... I really do get the good feeling when i speak to the person i phone when we speak though... epecially if they are having a hard time... it makes me feel better that i may have helped... even just being there to listen to them.. I guess thats the bit of getting out of yourself... I made a decision.. especially after your advice... to go to more meetings... and that has been confirmed by you guys and others here... I know for me to help myself... i have to listen and do what you have done... as it obviously works for so many. I am not sure i could ask people for there number but i will give it a go. I need not to let this beat me... Sorry... i want to say more but dont have the words in me just now... NoelleR:... Dictionary is on the shopping list for this week Thankyou again... i really appreciate it Be well louis

03-31-2009, 02:53 PM	#21 (permalink)
pinetree Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Arundel Maine Posts: 70	Hello, new to posting here. I would have to concur with the others about the importance of meetings for me, especially those first few years. I tried to make a meeting every day. I won't into it, but I was a very sick person. My sponsor would tell me to revolve my day around a meeting. In the beginning those hours I was at the meetings were the only time I had any peace. Pinetree

04-01-2009, 06:48 AM	#23 (permalink)
Cathy31 1 bite&all resistance crumbles Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: IRELAND Posts: 2,160	Well done Louis - you keep doing what you doing follow suggestions, be open minded increase those meetings, get that dictionary and get a sponsor - you'll see the miracle will happen for you. Well done for speaking up and not suffering in silence! there is something to 'get' and it's realyl beautiful! Cathy31 c __________________ Sober since 22nd March 2006 by the Grace of God and the Programs & Fellowship of AA and NA Life is Beautiful! Fake it til you make it...

04-01-2009, 06:49 AM	#24 (permalink)
endzoner Being Me for the first time Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Wishek, North Dakota Posts: 1,148 Blog Entries: 12	hi Louis , I struggle with understanding while im reading , the Bigbook i do read but i struggle with it , What helped me understand it alot more then I did , was reading the 12 steps and 12 traditions, its a shorter version of the BB . try reading that mite help you grasp the BB a lil better . I know isntead of reading much stuff that I dont get .. it helps me by just getting to the point of the steps . if that makes any sence . But someone suggested it to me and it sure helped , Now today when i make a step meeting i just glance thu my 12x12 book and im able to get it lots easy , and ive highlited lots in the book . hope maybe that will help yah its just my 2 pennys .. __________________ Soberity is Flipping Fantastic!

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode