I forgot how to pray!

[ruch]

I know, it sounds weird. But being a former practicing catholic, i've prayed many times in my life. When I was growing up I remember "talking" to "god" while I lay in bed at night.

Now that I am giving AA a real shot, I am finding that I am having trouble praying. I will try talking to "god", I'll recite prayers I still have memorized from my catholic days. But it just doesn't feel right. I've spent so many years with agnostic views that I now don't know what to do.

Anybody else have similar issue when first joining AA from an agnostic point of view?

I am trying to fake it, hopefully I'll one day make it.........

[CAPTAINZING2000]

I can't speak for every one but, I've went through periods in my life where, I had doubts.

I've been sober enough now, I got to enjoy having grand kids come into this world.

Been a real blessing for me from up above. I keep in my mind. God's love for me is the same I have everytime, I hear my grand kids say, I love you grand pa,


I have conversations with God all day and most every day. If, my mind was talking out loud, I'd be locked up !!

I know, there's a God, I'm not God and I'm ok with that today

[freya]

ruch: I know exaclty what you are saying.....I was soooooo awkward and out-of-touch with the whole Hp/praying thing when I came into program.....but I really wanted to "get it" so I did my best. And "willing-suspension-of-disbelief" and "fake-it-til-you-make-it" were definitely a big part of it for me.

I just tired a lot of differnt things that seemed to be working for other people whose programs I respected and that resontaed with me in some way (see link below)....some of them were/are more traditionally "prayerful" and some are not....and then I kept doing the one's that I felt comfortable with and after about 10 months of "practice," I just one day realized, in the context of a canversation with a program friend, that I was "really" praying and I "really" had a HP that worked for me....

...but, yeah, the awkwardness is a PITA!!!!!!!!

freya

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post1838815 (Incorporating prayer into my life)

Also, I think there was just a thread asking for ideas about the "right" way to pray in the general Spirituality forum.....

[espresso]

Have you discussed this with your Sponsor?

[Believe808]

Ruch, when my kids were small they couldn't remember certain words in the prayers. I told them just to talk to God as if he was your friend, ie Good Morning God, please watch over me and help me be a good boy/girl, etc. I found myself talking to God the same way and they and I continue to do exactly the same thing. As the captain said, I have conversations all day long with God and I know that when I forget He listens to my Heart. Good Luck with your conversations/prayers.

[ruch]

No, don't have a sponsor yet. Still working on that too.

[sugErspun]

I know what you mean Ruch. I was also raised in an organized religion and most of the prayer I did was just reciting what I was taught...but you touched on something

"When I was growing up I remember "talking" to "god" while I lay in bed at night"

That's it.

I don't have a conception of God that is easily expressed, and our conception doesn't have to be for prayer to work. Just talk to "god"...I tend to add a bit of reverance to this practice, or ask for what I need and the power to be what I need to be.

When I started through the steps with my sponsor, after drinking when I really didn't want to - he wrote a prayer in my book (so I wouldn't forget it)...and I found it extremely useful in the first 3 steps...I still find it useful today, but back then - it was very important to me

something like this: "God, please help me to set aside the things I think I know about myself, the twelve steps, alcoholism and you..for an open mind and new experience with myself, the twelve steps, my alcoholism and especially you, God."

You may or may not have heard this referred to as the "set aside" prayer (we had to set aside prejudice .....). I found a lot of power in this prayer. Maybe you can too.

~a

[ruch]

Thanks sug. I'm gonna write that one down.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

remember the Lord's Prayer?

Our Father who art in heaven, Howard be they name.

I love little kids

[Believe808]

And lead our snot into temptation

Out of the mouths of babes!!!

[Music]

I denied God for so long I didn't think he'd pay any attention to me. I started out by just asking him to help me stay sober just for today and then thanking him at night. I have to remember that God never moved away from me, I moved away from him. So, in the process of seeking through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God, and praying only for his guideance, I no longer have to search for words. All I have to do is think about things I'm grateful for and the words just come.

[Tommyh]

keep it simple is what I did
no old prayers,just new honest words straight from the heart

[gravity]

Try asking yourself "what gives me strength"?

When I did my step 2, I didn't understand/believe that God or the Creator could remove my obsession to drink. However, by thinking about my late father and my two small children, I felt stronger, that I could accomplish more than I could on my own. I wasn't quitting drinking for them. Rather, I was relying on their strength.

When I did my steps 5 & 6, I felt a much stronger spiritual connection to the Creator and I now have a deep belief that living a spiritual life will keep me sober.

Just a bit of advice based on my limited experience: Don't overthink things. It's a simple program and the answers are all in the Big Book (just ask: others will gladly show you where to look).

Our own conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to make the approach and to effect a contact with Him.

BB quote from the 1st edition of the BB.

[Angelic17]

Hello Ruch, Prayer is so easy, it is speaking to GOD as if you were talking to your best friend. And by the way, GOD is your best friend. A prayer would go something like this: Dear Lord hear my prayer. I need your help. I have been struggling with such and such, and I don't know what to do. When I pray, I kneel, and I make the sign of the cross. There are so many prayers. The Hail Mary, Prayer to St. Michael, or The Lords Prayer is Our Father,Who art in heaven,Hallowed be thy name, Thy Kingdom come,Thy will be done,On earth, as it is in heaven,Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who tresspass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, Amen

[Tommyh]

ruch,it is good to see you trying.When I was new,I just asked for help staying sober in the morning and at night I just said thank you.
Of course during the day several times I said another prayer when needed...but that was how it started.My feelings was not that important at first,but the results over rode those feelings,the results was,I was staying sober for the first time.That was a starting point.
You see,I may have wanted a "real spiritual feeling" then,but it didn`t happen.
The HP heard my prayers no matter how I felt.That I do believe and I believe the HP hears your prayers too even tho you may not feel it.Keep praying and one day it will feel right.You`ll find your way.

[navysteve]

Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need
to consider another's conception of God. Our own
conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to
make the approach and to effect a contact with Him.
As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a
Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe underlying
the totality of things, we began to be possessed
of a new sense of power and direction, provided we
took other simple steps. We found that God does not
make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us,
the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive;
never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek.
It is open, we believe, to all men.

BB page 46.

For now, you can set aside what you think you know or were taught about God. Seek a way that makes sense to you. I too was brought up Old School Philadelphia Catholic. I had resentments about that religion for years. Coming into AA to quit drinking was the best thing I could do to end that resentment. I have not returned to the Catholic Church or any organized religion, but I have a relationship with God today that is unquestionably the closest I have ever been to being in touch with that Spirit. I do not believe in raising from the dead, burning bushes or walking on water, but I have a God that makes sense to me, and I can look at those religions today with respect and admiration and not contempt.

No one here can give you a way friend, but the door is already open because you are asking. All you have to do is walk through.