As Bill Sees It

[CarolD]

*~*~*~*~*^As Bill Sees It^*~*~*~*~*

"Selfish"?

" I can see why you are disturbed to hear some A.A. speakers say, 'A.A. is a selfish program.' The word 'selfish' ordinarily implies that one is acquisitive, demanding, and thoughtless of the welfare of others. Of course, the A.A. way of life does not at all imply such undesirable traits.
"What do these speakers mean? Well, any theologian will tell you that the salvation of his own soul is the highest vocation that a man can have. Without salvation--however we may define this--he will have little or nothing. For us of A.A., there is even more urgency.
"If we cannot or will not achieve sobriety, then we become truly lost, right in the here and now. We are of no value to anyone, including ourselves, until we find salvation from alcohol. Therefore, our own recovery and spiritual growth have to come first--a right and necessary kind of self-concern."

[jimhere]

Not selfish, at least IMO.

How about a program of enlightened self-interest? Doesn't Bill say in the second forward that while in Akron, standing at the door way to the bar in The Mayflower Hotel that he suddenly realized that in order to save himself, he must carry his message to another alcoholic?

My whole life has been about me getting mine. It still is to some degree. What I have found is that if I help you get yours I automatically get mine. If I help to see that good of the whole is met, my needs are automatically met.

Bill says in his story that Ebby told him never to pray for himself, except as his request would bear on his usefulness to others. That direction is repeated in The 11th Step. My grandpa sponsor taught us a prayer along those lines:

Father,
Fill me with your loving spirit that it would flow from me into the lives of others.
Amen.

Big Book references from Alcoholics Anonymous, First Edition

[todd6138]

Yeah, if I don't care about the welfare of others, I get sick. I immediately begin looking for ways to build resentments and isolate myself until the inevitable happens. And then I come out, full of guilt, build my resolve, and repeat the same ridiculous process over again. I have been trying for weeks to not bother my wife over the driving situation we have with her being the only one with a liscense=another story to that, perhaps.. anyway, I feel guilty so I don't go to meetings.. I try to pull up my bootstraps and take one for the family.. inevitably i become resentful of my conditions, good or bad... then i drink.. then i wonder how it all happened. Yesterday, I became " selfish" and had her take me to a meeting. I also met someone in recovery who needed some help with transportation after the meeting, which my wife graciously obliged. I suppose it has been my own fear of bothering her that just may have been keeping this cycle in motion. anyway , for today i am selfish Thank GOd i hope some of this made sense it did for me.