A change in perception

[nandm]

This was our course: we realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves were sick, too. Big Book of Alcholic's Anonymous, How it works. page 66

A shift in perception is suggested. We judge ourselves by our intentions while others judge us by our actions. We, being spiritually ill, are unable to live up to our own ideals. Even though we have good intentions, we harm others by trying to get what we want. Perhaps those who harm us are well-intentioned but spiritually ill also. If we can see their harmful actions as symptoms of this illness rather than an attack upon us as individuals, we can give them the understanding and forgiveness that we desire for ourselves.

[Tazman53]

Change I must or die I will! There was a time when all I could look for in another person was either how were they going to screw me or how I could take advantage of them for my own self gratification, life was a "B" and paranoia and hatred were my way.

Today I work at finding the good when I start to see the bad, I no longer seek out peoples weaknesses to exploit, but instead I see if I can be of service to them, if they have harmed me and I have no part in it, I seek a way to forgive them and if possible hold out my hand to them. I seek a way to be of service to others rather then to see what I can get from others. Today life is good, not perfect, but good, I no longer walk in fear of others, and when hatred creeps into my thoughts I drive it out by finding a way to at least be accepting and tolerant and if possible understanding & loving.

I am not the same man today I was 3 years ago, and I have my HP to thank for that & AA for showing me the way to my HP.

[24hrsAday]

perception.. that is a big word! most alcoholics suffer from a faulty perception of reality.. i know i still struggle with this from time to time in this crazy world we live in today.. just reminding myself that "i may be wrong" is a big thing for me..

[nandm]

One of my friends as well as one of the most spiritual people I know loves the book "A New Pair of Glasses" by Chuck C. She is one who truly believes that perception is reality. She has a shelf dedicated just to glasses. She has glasses of all shapes and sizes including a pair of rose colored glasses. She has a saying that anytime she is feeling off kilter she just goes to her glasses shelf and tries on glasses until her perception changes. Works every time she says. She has 37 years sober in the program of AA.

[Tommyh]

nandm,thats a good analogy
in AA,I believe we have many "pairs of glasses" that enable us to have a shift in our perceptions.
Just to name a few,the steps,and working with others..

[tanyapmc]

I think that part of the big book has helped me more than anything. If I can look at the people that wrong me as "sick" instead of "bad" then I can start the forgiveness process. It has helped me to let them off of the hook.

[gravity]

Originally Posted by 24hrsAday

perception.. that is a big word! most alcoholics suffer from a faulty perception of reality.. i know i still struggle with this from time to time in this crazy world we live in today.. just reminding myself that "i may be wrong" is a big thing for me..

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false.

Before I quit drinking I was living in a fantasy world. I honestly believed that:

-I wasn't an alcoholic,
-I couldn't live life without alcohol,
-My drinking wasn't really hurting anyone,
-I was a great husband, father, & friend,
-My wife just didn't appreciate what she had,
-I was such a great employee that they should just forgive & forget when I failed to show up to work.

Absolutely bizarre! It wasn't until my alcoholism really started to hemorrhage into the other areas of my life (in very obvious ways) that I finally had to surrender - to accept that I was living a lie.

Sobriety and AA have given me a much clearer perception of reality. At the same time, I recognize that I have more learning and growth to do. I'm almost certain that there are other "truths" in my life today that will come crumbling down.

Thank God I no longer hold on for dear life to old false ideals and that I can accept when I am wrong.



BB quote from the 1st edition of the BB.