The Blame Game

[RufusACanal]

Happy New Year to all. The idea of "Blame" has been on my mind of late. Here is a link to a reasonably good defination of Blame. I look forward to your ESH.

Blame - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia


Ron

[CAPTAINZING2000]

My favorite topic


Being responsible for what I've done and what I do now in my life. I can now say, I'm sorry instead of poking fingers at other people.

I used to have my ears stuffed with cotten and my mouth wide open. I believe that saying, you have you have one mouth and two ears, listen twice as much and talk half as often . I didn't know anything except to be drunk and stupid.

My recovery went no where until, I took an inventory of myself. I no longer can play the victim, I did my part in making every situation as it was. My irrational behavior while drinking only made it worse.

[weekendbinger]

My mother is a recovering alcoholic and never quite got AA. Although she hasn't had a drop since her intervention, she blames my father for her alcoholism. Just seeing her bad example gives me the strength not to blame anyone. I'm constantly thinking about what got me to this point of not being able to handle drinking responsibly. There may be triggers but it all comes back to me....I must take the blame. I own it and am going to do something about it. I'm not going to put my children through what my mom put me through. I'm on day 7....yippee! A new life awaits!

[CAPTAINZING2000]

grats on 7 days

[RufusACanal]

Congrats, weekendbinder on seven days.

“Aristotle says that praise and blame are only proper responses to voluntary actions and states of character. He defines a voluntary action as an action that is done with knowledge of what one is doing (i.e., not in factual ignorance) and which one brings about by one’s own ‘will’ or determination."

Blame is one of the most combustible fuels used to start or sustain self-pity. How can I be responsible if I blame others for my plight? For decades, I looked at you and found fault, not at myself but you; whoever you were at that time and place. If you were wrong, my blaming you released me from the responsibility to accept consequences, good or bad, right or wrong.

I hear new folks in meetings today say that they are remanded to meeting attendance because the Judge said so, not because of any behavior on their part. This isn’t the best example but one I have heard over and over for decades. If we were to rewind the tape of a person’s life and look at the events that sculpted this man’s or woman’s present circumstances, would we find a conspiracy of parents, teachers, coaches, friends and employers all scheming to undermine the life of this one individual and doing so while living their own lives? What a country we would be with so many highly motivated folks!

I love stories and every story usually has a beginning, middle and an end. Every situation in my life has the same three elements and all are at different points in their progress from inception to demise. Today, I look at blame in this reference. Where does the story of blame begin, how did it continue and what is the ending. The young man who walks into the rooms of AA, blaming others for his plight may not have the skills to recognize that he is living in a self-contained prison of self-defeatist irresponsibility stacked one upon another. I do have the skills to understand my place in each situation today; I may not like where I have placed myself, but I have the ability to discern my place and my role.

Let me continue with this as well. My observations that turn into judgments are no healthier than the new man’s blame. Another one of the self’s – self-righteousness hinders me from helping the new man learn to accept responsibility for self imposed decisions and actions. Though I may have tackled the blame game, I have not grown at all if I look down on others who have not either the skills or the ability at this time to see self-centeredness and self-pity in their own lives. I have to remember I was sicker than I am today and extend the same patience and tolerance necessary I received from so many for so long so another can achieve the gifts of a New Life.