Sensitivity

[nandm]

Another principle we observe carefully is that we do not relate intimate experiences of another person unless we are sure he would approve. We find it better, when possible, to stick to our own stories. A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule of him coming from another often produces the contrary effect. Members of a family should watch such matters carefully, for one careless, inconsiderate remark has been known to raise the very devil. We alcoholics are sensitive people. It takes some of us a long time to outgrow that serious handicap.

Alcoholics are not just sensitive, we are plain touchy. Our lack of humility often allows us to be hurt by the slightest reference to any of our failings. Admission of our shortcomings helps us to develop the humility we lack.

[nandm]

I am taking a college writing class online. One of the things that is required is postings to a discussion board. We also have to post on the same board rough drafts of our papers for a peer review. This has forced me to acknowledge that I still have the character defect of being overly sensitive. When reading the comments on my paper, my first reaction was one of defensiveness and hurt.

Fortunately I learned from this board that when I want to reply to a post out of anger, frustration, hurt, etc... the best thing I can do is step away from the keyboard, take a break, and come back at a later time to re-read the post prior to responding. So I did just that. When I came back to the board I was able to see the comments for what they were. They were not an attack on me as a person. They were simply constructive criticism aimed at helping me make my paper a better paper. I find that today I still have to work on the concept of "what other people think of me is NONE of my business." By keeping that in mind I am better able to respond in a constructive way rather than out of pain, fear, anger, or frustration. I am so grateful for the tools the program of AA has given me.

[lizw]

I'm still waiting for fame and fortune and for everyone to recognise my brilliance too.....

[jurneyman]

Nan, I agree with everything in your post, but one thing that really should be brought out is, to ignore what people think of us, by never letting their personal opinion effect us. If we allow their judgment of us, to manipulate on how we feel about ourselves, that puts them in control of who we are, or what we believe or think, and no human being should have that right.

[Boleo]

Originally Posted by nandm

Our lack of humility often allows us to be hurt by the slightest reference to any of our failings.

Who says I lack humility. I'll have you know, I have far more humility than you have and I'm damn proud of it!

[nandm]

Originally Posted by Boleo

Who says I lack humility. I'll have you know, I have far more humility than you have and I'm damn proud of it!

[Tommyh]

I like this guys idea of humility

I'm sure, for instance, that I ought to seek out the finest definition of humility that is possible for me to envision. This definition doesn't have to be absolutely perfect--I am only asked to try. Suppose I choose one like this: "Perfect humility would be a state of complete freedom from myself, freedom from all the claims that my defects of character now lay so heavily upon me. Perfect humility would be a full willingness, in all times and places, to find and do the will of God."

When I meditate upon such a vision, I need not be dismayed because I shall never attain it, nor need I swell with presumption that one of these days its virtues shall all be mine.

I only need to dwell on the vision itself, letting it grow and ever more fill my heart. This done, I can compare it with my last-taken personal inventory. Then I get a sane and healthy idea of where I actually stand on the Highway to Humility. I see that my journey toward God has scarce begun. As I thus get down to my right size and stature, my self-concern and importance become amusing. Then faith grows that I do have a place on this Highway; that I can advance upon it with deepening peace and confidence. Once more I know that God is good; that I need fear no evil. This is a great gift, this knowledge that I do have a destiny.

As I continue to contemplate God's Perfection, I discover still another joy. As a child, hearing my first symphony, I was lifted up into its indescribable harmony, though I knew little of how or whence it came. So today, when I listen for God's Music of the Spheres, I can now and again hear those divine chords by which I am told that the Great Composer loves me--and that I love Him.

[psyk0]

"lack of humility" pffffff

I'll tell you what the real problem is: people are just too selfish, I'm the only one who thinks about ME!

[RufusACanal]

I love it when I hear someone say one of the following; "I must say in all humility....." "Being a humble man...." "I am humble."

Kind of like the guy who wants attention for all of the good he does...

LOL, and I must humbly say, I have never really sought that much acclaim or pomp for my high skilled but lowly efforts to bring knowledge to the pitiful masses!

[Celebration1994]

When anybody questioned anything I spoke about or had a different point of view, in early recovery, I would feel so wounded, then get angry, then cry. I was such an emotional wreck. It took some time, but I learned that when someone disagrees with me or criticizes me...it is okay, and if I get angry or hurt...I also walk away and come back to it later, and look at it, address it or learn from it and move on. (not always an easy task)

I laugh at the phrases..In my humble opinion....If I tell you I am humble...I feel I have lost all my humility. I have a sponsee who changed it to say... In my not so humble opinion

[Tazman53]

You know one of the things I love about people in recovery is just how much we openly admit our lack of humbleness. We joke about how full of our selfs we are at times, we seem to be able to see our lack of humility so easily even when others don't.

Wow that was a pretty awesome statement wasn't it!!! LOL

In all seriousness I have an issue with simply saying "Thanks" when someone compliments me on something, I still find myself giving full credit to someone else for my actions or what I say.... and in all honesty there is credit due to others and God for what I do and say today.... but as my sponsor & grandsponsor have both told me, I have every right to take some credit for allowing what God & others have given me when I pass it on.

[RufusACanal]

This is such a good topic; pushing my sarcasm of eariler aside.

Humility is most powerful with the absence of acclaim. Humility is the outward manifestation of a soul at peace in service to others.

This is one concept I will never get right; thankfully.