Your first chair - what was it like?

[odaat]

I've been asked to do the chair (the big share at the start of the meeting) at another meeting for the first time!

I'm pretty nervous, I don't share all that often outside my home group, so no-one really knows my story.

Any hints or tips on how to give the best I can?

What were your first chairs about? Did they go well?

[ananda]

In my area a chair is just a person who hands out the readings and starts the meeting and calls for a topic..or starts the reading in the liturature.

If you chair means speaking...like a 15 minite intro or telling your story, I know that the ones that help me most aren't the brilliant story tellers or speakers, but the ones who just speak from their heart in ordinary words.

I have spoken many many many years ago, and I found that i did best if i just spoke from the heart..although I usually also found myself telling myself my story in my head repeatedly for several days before But when i started i just let er rip!

[odaat]

Yes, sorry for confusion. In my area, the 'Chair' is the guest speaker who speaks first for 20 minutes or so, before the meeting is opened for general sharing.

I'm also worried about what I can 'give'. Most people are the meeting have more 'sober time' than me. I'm still a beginner!

[Tazman53]

odaat I have a feeling that the type of chair you are talking about is not what we call chairing a meeting in my area. Basically in my area the chair of a meeting simply leads the meeting, a chair coodinates all the readings, AA related announcements, passes the basket and if a discussion meeting ask for a topic and dose the first share on the topic, or if a speakers meeting introduces the speaker and if a literature meeting starts the reading.

My first time was a small discussion meeting and I did not know I was leading until I showed up and they told me I was leading the meeting!!! No time to be nervous!!! LOL The good thing was they had a script for me to follow. Mine went well, but the meeting was a small one with a lot of sobriety, 4 members have over 30 years each, I was probably the one with the least amount of time sober.... if I recall correctly I had about 3-4 months sober.

odaat I just read your second post, ananda gave the best advice I know of when it comes to speaking.... let it come from the heart, say a prayer just before the meeting starts and you will be amazed.

In regards to what you can give........... well the best format is from the BB:

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps.

Spend a little time on what you used to be like, a little more time on what happened, then the remainder of the time on what it is like now. If there is one single person in that meeting that is struggling or has less time then you, if you just turn what you are going to say over to your HP, you will say exactly what at least one person in that room needs to hear that night! Trust me when I say you will help at least one person, it may be someone with 20 years for whom the "What it was like" they may be starting to forget, you could be the one that brings back that recollection to them of "What it was like" for them, they may have started to rest on thier laurels and you may say just the thing that gets them back into the thick of thier program.

[odaat]

The Secretary does the opening, literature and stuff, and the chair is just a speaker here! What do your secretaries do?

I've just remembered, I have done it before. I went to a meeting in Warsaw, Poland, and there were only 3 other people. They all knew each other really well, so just wanted me to speak for 30 minutes. That was quite scary!

[Tazman53]

In most of our meetings we really do not have a secratary..... we should but we don't.

[odaat]

Originally Posted by Tazman53

In most of our meetings we really do not have a secratary..... we should but we don't.

Very interesting! I'd love to visit more meetings abroad to see how they differ. I've been to meetings in Korea and Poland, both were very similar to the meetings here in England. I'd love to go some American meetings.

[ananda]

American meetings vary greatly...now in our area the only secretary is the person who reads and takes minites at the business meeting.

Our service structure is very simple...GSR, Treasurer, and secretary if possible though right now we just take turns. We have a chair to start up the meeting and unlock the door. Sometimes we don't have a designated chair and who ever shows up chairs the meeting.

I'm sure it is suprising to some, but this actually works out just fine...I think maybe twice we had a problem this year with no one being there to open the 5:30 Friday meeting at 5:30...so didn't get started till a little late.

My home group only has about 6 "members" and is the original AA group for our area.

It's always neat to visit other AA groups and see how they function, but the draw back is that I have seen and expereinced that moving from one town to another can be a big adjustment as of course "AA is different" from what you are use to....the basics are the same...one alchoholic sharing with another to get and stay sober, just the forms change.

[sugErspun]

The only approach I know on being the "lead" (as I would call it)...

Stick to the facts - relate your personal experience with alcoholism and the 12 steps. I usually speak a little about my drinking patterns / why I am alcoholic / what got me to AA / what has happened since.

Oh, maybe a short prayer alone before you take your seat. I have found that helpful (something along the lines of "I don't know what I am doing and I can't do it alone").

[gravity]

Originally Posted by odaat

I'm also worried about what I can 'give'. Most people are the meeting have more 'sober time' than me. I'm still a beginner!

I checked out your profile. You are 21 years old and have been sober since November 2006! I am certain that you have some awesome ESH to share. I want to listen to you!

The newcomers and young people in the room will see that it can be done. For the first few months of my sobriety, I held on to the words of a young person who was nearing 2 years of sobriety, had worked the steps, was helping others (she has since moved). She was 20 years younger than me but she gave me such strength!

Everyone in the meeting room will get something out of this experience. Personally, when I share I don't worry about saying things perfectly. I speak from my heart and do my best. It works out fine.

[Tommyh]

odaat,I talk about 15-20 times a yr
I usually say a prayer or two before the meeting.My usual prayer is...God please keep me out of the way so I can carry the message of AA that you want me to carry.May your will be done....I like to give a very short background of growing up,like a couple of minutes,if dad mom was a alcoholic or not etc...and I try to remember to keep my focus on drinking
and then relate my experiences drinking.I like to mention my bottom .I try to save some time to relate a few of my experiences with a few things concerning the steps and then how life is today sober...might be hard to do in 20 minutes..I used to be really nervous to begin with,but after you get started you usually calm down

the book gives us 2 suggestions
1.disclose in a general way what we used to be like(our drinking),what happened(the steps),and what we are like now(sober and steps 10-12)-thats how I see it
2.we tell using our own words and our own point of view how we established our relationship with God


my buddy Todd used to tell me 2 things when I got nervous
1-God`s just trying to shake the truth out of you
2-you oughta be nervous,you`ve lied all your life and not you got to get honest in front of everybody!
sometimes a little humor to begin with knocks the nervous edge off

good luck
it`s a growing experience,the more you do it,the more you grow

[sugErspun]

Originally Posted by bballdad

1-God`s just trying to shake the truth out of you

I like that one a lot!