First Meeting

[flutter]

Hi all..
So this evening I found a meeting near me, at the perfect time/location, for beginners. I had a month under my belt, and blew it this past week. I thought I could go to the store and not buy liquor... I thought I could buy it, and not drink out of control... I thought I could drink out of control and that no one would notice. Wrong, of course. WTF... darn alcoholic brain! I gotta get that part in control, because I KNOW I can live without alcohol. I want to, I think I just need some focus, and none of this "I can do everything on my own" BS.

I know I can't do this on my own. I do have an issue with the Higher Power part of AA, but for now, it's the only meeting I can find today. I believe that because it is for beginners, there will be a lot of opportunities for questions, or just a room full of supportive people, and basically, it will be a much better place to be at 7pm on a Saturday night than at home, alone.

I'm scared.. I'm scared I'll know someone.. I'm scared to talk right now.. I'm scared there will be no one there (right!?).. I'm scared to show my face.

Wasn't sure if this was the best place to post, so I'm posting in both 12 Step Support, and Newcomers to Recovery.

Thank you for reading.

[RufusACanal]

flutter,

So good to hear from you. I am today at a low period; uncertainty fills each moment. I have allowed the old thinking to return bit by bit and have cut myself from the light of the spirit.

The thought of a drink is not the issue for me, but rather if I can sustain life. Do well my friend and don't give up.

[ananda]

flutter,

I think we are all nervous and worried the first time! you will probably hear the word hp and god, just sorta slide over it for awhile and focus on how you identify with the people. There are many athiests and agnostics and alternative HP people finding recovery in AA. you might check out the secular forum and post there too if you are interested. either post or pm about things as you start meetings and others can share how they deal with any problems that arise. And many find they go to a meeting, fit right in and love it from the start

[flutter]

Rufus.. sorry to hear you are at a low spot. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you, and thanks so much for responding.

[CarolD]

Just go and listen ...
If you are invited to share and you feel comfrtable
then do so. If not...you only need to say "Pass"

Please come back and tell us your experience.

[CarolD]

Double Ron
Prayers zinging your way

[FightingIrish]

Welcome to sobriety...it rocks. I am an agnostic and have found that AA works quite well for me, even when following all the steps and the suggestions that contain the word God.

It is not a religious program.

M

[flutter]

Originally Posted by FightingIrish

Welcome to sobriety...it rocks. I am an agnostic and have found that AA works quite well for me, even when following all the steps and the suggestions that contain the word God.

It is not a religious program.

M

I know... and it was just one meeting. I re-posted in another thread, this particular meeting ended up being very very religious, but I am open enough to (of course) respect and admire other peoples' strength and belief in whatever works best for them. Just gotta find my way to do the same

[SlvrMag]

I too was worried about the 'Higher Power' thing...please don't laugh but...I chose my dog to be my HP for now! Don't let that stop you from getting the benefits of the program!

[ananda]

I get it Slvrmag.....my dogs seem to have many the attributes of an HP. They are very much an inspiration to me!

[gravity]

It helps me to keep in mind that when others speak of God, they are referring to their own, personal Higher Power (a number of people in our meetings are Christian). They usually refer to God within the context of living the 12 steps. They are not quoting the Bible. They are not trying to push Christianity on me. They are sharing their own experience, strength, and hope - helping other alcoholics.

When I first joined AA, the only way I could appreciate the concept of a Higher Power was to think of the courage of my late father and the innocence & purity of my young children. My Higher Power had to be something that gave me more strength than I had on my own. Whatever you need to move forward, something to believe in.

[Tazman53]

Just gotta find my way to do the same

Flutter that is exactly what the BB is all about, helping one to find a Power greater then them selfs or alcohol that will help them solve thier problems.

Notice I did not say that would solve thier problems. I said that would help them, I found that if I do nothing I get nothing.

I hope your meeting overall went well.