Working the steps

[bananagrrrl]

Hi all,

I have 12 days sober and have been attending AA for a little over 2 months.

I have a sponsor, and while she is helpful, I am not understanding why she thinks I need to stay on step one for so long.

I have a bag off AA books including the 12 and 12.

How do you work the steps? I have a journal and have been writing my interpretation of the steps and other emotions.

Thanks!

[navysteve]

IF your sponsor determines what step you are on in my opinion you need a new sponsor. If you know in the depths of your sould that you are an alcoholic then you are at step one ( page 30 of the Big Book). If you believe that AA can help you stay sober then you have enough of a grasp on step 2. If you are willing to work steps four through eleven then that is enough of a decision to turn your will and your life over to the care of God. In short, get a new sponsor, you can work all 12 steps in a matter of days if you are willing

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

Hi!

Um, I'm curious. Were you still on STep 1 when you relapsed? Did you feel "stuck" there or not? Have you asked your sponsor the questions that you've asked here?

[nandm]

I find that it is a not a matter of "working" the Steps but rather learning to "Live" the Steps. It is by learning to apply the Steps to all of our problems in life that we gain the promises.

My first sponsor wanted me to spend forever on each Step as well. In fact she was of the belief a Step a year. I find this ridiculous as the Big Book clearly states that Bill and many others actually did the Steps promptly sometimes within a matter of days. The Steps are the foundation of our sobriety.

My solution to my first sponsors resistence was to find start doing the Steps on my own. I even did my 5th Step with someone who wasn't my sponsor. Of course by then I had let my sponsor know that although I appreciated her help I would not be needing it anymore. Today, no matter what problem I face in life I have learned to apply the Steps to it. The Steps never fail to work the problem out for me.

Disclaimer: This of course is just my experience and opinion.....

[PaulN]

The question you have about your sponsor, can be answered by simply asking your sponsor.

Your personal willingness will determine the speed at which you take the 12 steps. No one else.

[Chops]

I have met people that worked them in days, some people who work through them in years. For me, and I am firm believer that AA is not French class hence I try to never say "We", it is about doing step one correctly and accepting that I am truly powerless.

For me the repetition of step 1-3 is working, each day accepting that I am powerless over the booze and letting it sink in took me time, hence the user name stubborn. Meh, but that is just me, so much of this is a personal journey and finding what works for you. Maybe bounce the idea off others in the meetings with time under their belts......I only have one sponsor but get plenty of opinions. But if your sponsor is too rigid and in your opinion hurting your progress you can always shop around.

Good Luck,

C

[RufusACanal]

Ask your Sponsor and begin reading the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

[AW2486]

Need to ask yourself 2 questions.

1. Am I an alcoholic ?
2. Am I ready to quit forever and for good ?

If you answer yes to both .. your ready for step 2

I hear a lot of speakers say that we take step 1 "out there" .. In Bills story he talks about the world coming down around him ... he called alcohol his master. He was powerless. Do you feel powerless? at your wits end? Willing to do anything to quit?

[Boleo]

Originally Posted by bananagrrrl

How do you work the steps? I have a journal and have been writing my interpretation of the steps and other emotions.

Thanks!

I have worked the steps many times with many sponsors. Some wanted me to do the steps in as little as a week and some wanted to take a year.

In my opinion one week is too quick and a year is too slow. In the early days of AA they had a "Back to Basics work-shop" that was 12 steps in 4 weeks and it worked fairly well.

My current sponsor has worked it many different ways and now aims for a step a week (3 months) as a reasonable goal.

[Tommyh]

I take the steps,in other words,I take the action the big book says to take and the HP does the rest.
I have been thru the steps many times,many ways.Fast,slow,skimming the surface,or in depth.
Every way I took them they worked.
The only way they did not work was when I did not take them.I took the first step one week before I returned to AA.
you might want to ask your sponsor why she is so slow.

[navysteve]

In the early days of AA they had a "Back to Basics work-shop" that was 12 steps in 4 weeks and it worked fairly well.

The Back to Basics workshop is how one person determined how the program was worked. In the early days of AA over 6000 alcoholics took the steps without any guidance from anyone in AA.In the spring of 1993, Wally P was conducting research for a book he was writing, while sorting through some archival materials, he came across a 20-page pamphlet, published in 1944, which described in detail how one of the local groups was taking newcomers through the Twelve Steps in four one-hour sessions. The Back to Basics Workshop started in DC in the 90's and has turned into something of a separatist movement in AA. They sell their own books and tell new people that this is the way its done I have watched a few people get caught up in that particular movement. I am not against the basic theme of the Back to Basics movement itself, but there is a cult-like atmosphere to their meetings. They have leaders, and recruit members in other AA meetings. Not too healthy in my opinion

[navysteve]

In the early days of AA they had a "Back to Basics work-shop" that was 12 steps in 4 weeks and it worked fairly well

One more thing, how do we compare the averages back then to how they are today? I hear that said often that AA once had a 75% recovery rate. That is foolish, just because the Big Book says that, they were basing that off of 29 people in a group. What worked fairly well back then is still in question????

The Big Book itself works fairly well today if utilized. Why do we need another book???
Money?

[Tommyh]

I believe the b2b movement is ok for starters,getting newcomers familiar with the steps, or for getting back on track if you need it.
If memory serves me correctly,b2b comes from the old time beginners meetings some groups had.What I really like about it is the 11th step done the way original AA`S and Dr Bob did it.I have sat in 11 th step guidance meetings before and some was very powerful.It was a good experience.


There was a old article in the AA Grapevine from the 1940`s.It contained a documented 93 percent success rate from some AA`S.
Search the online AA Archives and you`ll find it.Interesting article.

[Tazman53]

bananagrrrl, when I sponsor someone, I am there to take them through the steps at the pace THEY are ready to take them, not the pace I think they should go through them, I will suggest that they spend more time on a step if I feel they are having issues with it, but if they are ready to move on to the next step we do. It is thier steps and thier program, not mine! My sponsor did the same thing with me.

First things first I would suggest you do is speak to your sponsor openly and honestly about why, if you are ready in your mind to move on you can't?

All of my sponsees took step one in about an hour or two, I had them read the "Doctors Opinion" "Bill's Story" & "More About Alcoholism" before we met, together we read through them again and then we spoke about whether or not they were powerless over alcohol and if thier lifes were unmanageable when they were drinking.

So far to a man, all of them were like I was, the powerless portion we knew before we set foot into an AA meeting, the unmanageability portion for some like me was/is a bit harder to swallow, but looking at our lifes with open honest minds we had no problem seeing that in reality our lifes were unmanageable.

If after speaking to your sponsor your are still not satisified with the speed of her taking you through the steps then it may very well be time to find another sponsor.

I will suggest this very strongly, examine your motives for why you want to move on to step 2. If your reason to move on is to simply take all 12 steps as quickly as you can to say you have done all the steps, that in my opinion is not a real good idea..... however if you NEED to move through them quickly for your own sobriety and sanity and you want to work them throughly then it may be time to find a new sponsor.

Taking the steps for me, it was crucial that I got through them, but more crucial that I understood them and did them all throughly and honestly to the best of my ability. This took me about four months all total, if I had of had the time I could have done it quicker, but I needed time to let them sink in and see the benefits of not only taking the steps, but of living them as well.

[RufusACanal]

Starting today with prayer;

"God, I offer myself to Thee - to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"


Ron