Working the Steps

[PaperDolls]

This might be too vague of a question but can someone define "Working the Steps" to me?

I've been attending AA.
I don't have a big book, yet.
I haven't worked up the courage to ask for a sponsor & I'm still trying to decide who the best fit is. I do have a couple people in mind.

But, Working the Steps ....... I mean, I get it on some of the steps. Listing your character defects, amends, etc. But some, I don't know what "work" there would be.

Sometimes I hear people say "I'm still working on Step 1".
I'm like What? As far as I'm concerned, I had that step worked when I was like 17 and knew I had a drinking problem and that my life was unmanageable with the alcohol.

Hopefully this make sense to someone and I'm not the only one whose asked a question like this.

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

To me, working the steps is reading and studying the Big Book. In my particular line of sponsorship, we use actual handouts with questions that pertain to the pages in the book and the whatever Step correlates to it. The steps are all in the book..

Might want to hit a Big Book study J. That way you can get a lil taste and I met my sponsor at one.

xo

[PaperDolls]

I'm actually going to an Area AA Conference this weekend.
Friday, Saturday, Sunday.
I'll be an experience for sure.

[RufusACanal]

HOW IT WORKS

Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average. There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that we deal with alcohol-cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power-that One is God. May you find Him now!

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.

Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought.

[Jfanagle]

This may sound trite, but an old timer and a very dear friend of mine has always said, "THERE IS NO WORKING THE STEPS, YOU TAKE THE STEPS!"

Let me explain, he contends and I have to agree that we are in a fellowship that demands that we "get to work" and sometimes people, due to an understandable fear, tend to "work" the steps to death. Again, quoting Dave the bus driver, "If you want to get across this room you will take steps to get there. If you work at the steps you will never get across the room."

This may seem like a silly answer to your question, but as you said, if you TAKE step one and admit you are an alcoholic, you are now ready to move on to step two.

I hope this helped in some small way.

Jon

PS. Note in the post above that the book says "HERE ARE THE STEPS WE *TOOK*.

[Astro]

Originally Posted by PaperDolls

"Working the Steps"

I've never liked that phrase. Here's a few definitions for the word work:

1: activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something: a: sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result b: the labor, task, or duty that is one's accustomed means of livelihood c: a specific task, duty, function, or assignment often being a part or phase of some larger activity

JMO, while that definition applies well to the 12 Steps, it can also define something that is difficult or unpleasant. I prefer to think that I've taken a journey through the Steps (and it's always been a very beneficial one) and I make an effort to practice them every day. "Work" is not always fun or pleasant, but practicing the Steps can be an amazing experience.

[Astro]

Originally Posted by Jfanagle

"THERE IS NO WORKING THE STEPS, YOU TAKE THE STEPS!"

PS. Note in the post above that the book says "HERE ARE THE STEPS WE *TOOK*.

Yeah! Perfect!

[PaperDolls]

Awesome!

Ok, I'm off to practice the steps. It will be a great journey.


Next question: There are like 3 editions of the Big Book. Which one is more widely used?

[Astro]

The fourth edition is the newest one Jen. The only difference is that some of the stories in the back half of the book are updated or changed. The first 164 pages remain the same.

[PaperDolls]

Thanks Astro.

I'm going to read it here ....... until my dad buys me one.
Big Book Online Fourth Edition

I say that because I'm going to this AA Area Conference with him and my mom this weekend. I expect that he'll be buying me one. I mentioned to him in a phone conversation that I don't have one.

[RufusACanal]

I would send you one if you like. I am so happy you are ready to start on the Steps; made my day!

[Astro]

I'd be happy to send you one too!

At our meetings we sell Big Books, and we always say "if you can't afford one, we'll make arrangements to get you one".

No alcoholic should be without a Big Book! Don't leave home without it! Lol.

[Rob B]

Originally Posted by Astro

The fourth edition is the newest one Jen. The only difference is that some of the stories in the back half of the book are updated or changed. The first 164 pages remain the same.

Not to hijack the thread, but there are a lot more differences, I'd go with a
3rd edition, pretty cheap on e-bay.
PM me if you want to know more of the changes.

[PaperDolls]

Originally Posted by RufusACanal

I would send you one if you like. I am so happy you are ready to start on the Steps; made my day!

I really expect that my dad will have one for me when I get to his house Friday. Like I told him ...... and he's an AAer, 37 years sober ....... I haven't "bought into" all the AA stuff but I sorta like it. I just hate rules and stuff. He laughed because we have the same personality.

I think I'm just dipping my toes in right now. We'll see what happens. As crazy as you may think it is, I really do like enjoy being a nonconformist.

Originally Posted by Rob B

Not to hijack the thread, but there are a lot more differences, I'd go with a
3rd edition, pretty cheap on e-bay.
PM me if you want to know more of the changes.

Rob, may be there should be another thread about this? Since I've already received 2 different responses I would imagine opinions on this are all over the board? If you don't want to start a new thread (or an argument) I'd love for you to PM me your thoughts.

[Astro]

Every afternoon when I hear How It Works read a couple things always stand out to me, I've highlighted them here.

[QUOTE=RufusACanal;1912953]Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:

Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection. [QUOTE]

They remind me that even if I don't do this deal 101% perfectly, I won't stumble and fall, I'm not bound for failure. I follow these guides and suggestions to the best of my ability, I remain a humble servant to the program. So far it's working very well. I'm not looking for any refunds;-)

[stone]

Originally Posted by PaperDolls

Sometimes I hear people say "I'm still working on Step 1".
I'm like What? As far as I'm concerned, I had that step worked when I was like 17 and knew I had a drinking problem and that my life was unmanageable with the alcohol.

But since you drank after you knew that, it could be said you hadn't 'got' that step, if you see what I mean? Sometimes we need to remind ourselves of that step, or I do anyway!

But yea, some people seem to over-labour the steps.

I 'took' the steps with my sponsor in two days, this is pretty unusual these days I think but my point is, you take the steps...then you do the 'maintenance' or 'growth' steps daily, these are steps 10, 11 and 12.

As I am very early in sobriety step 12 just means going to meetings for me right now, but doing step 10 and 11 daily is where the work or effort comes in for me now.

I work 10 and 11 straight from the BB, I am finding it extremely helpful and am getting excited by my recovery again.

I am glad you are trying this Jen, just do it with an open mind and see if you get results.

[Astro]

Originally Posted by stone

I work 10 and 11 straight from the BB, I am finding it extremely helpful and am getting excited by my recovery again.

[AW2486]

I think this goes along with Jon's point..

I heard once the information the Big Book will not keep us sober. Its the action we take outlined in that book that keeps us sober.

[Tommyh]

Originally Posted by AW2486

I think this goes along with Jon's point..

I heard once the information the Big Book will not keep us sober. Its the action we take outlined in that book that keeps us sober.

thats me too !
I was told to take the action the book says to take,and the Power Greater than ourselves would do the rest!

[FightingIrish]

The Big Book thumpers use the word "work" a lot: "do the work", "go through the work", etc. Sounds like prepping for the SAT or doing vocab exercises to me.

Originally Posted by Astro

I've never liked that phrase. Here's a few definitions for the word work:

1: activity in which one exerts strength or faculties to do or perform something: a: sustained physical or mental effort to overcome obstacles and achieve an objective or result b: the labor, task, or duty that is one's accustomed means of livelihood c: a specific task, duty, function, or assignment often being a part or phase of some larger activity

JMO, while that definition applies well to the 12 Steps, it can also define something that is difficult or unpleasant. I prefer to think that I've taken a journey through the Steps (and it's always been a very beneficial one) and I make an effort to practice them every day. "Work" is not always fun or pleasant, but practicing the Steps can be an amazing experience.

[Cathy31]

Well done PD! Your weekend sounds like a great plan! All will be revealed...just take it a day at a time, and I can promise you this...

If you take the steps (), go to meetings, get a sponsor, do service and connect with a higher power of your choice - the promises WILL come true for you (google aa promises if this is not familiar) and you WILL stay happily and peacefully sober - it's a truly wonderful life and we are very blessed to have access to thanks to AA.

Cathy31x

[Tazman53]

Jon I like that "Taking the steps"!!!!

Taking the steps that first time with my sponsor was life saving for me, what keeps me "sane" (still a bit crazy though LOL) is steps 10-12, especially step 12:

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

For me steps 10 & 11 together maintain my spiritual condition and awareness,(awakening). Step 12 is key for me, carrying the message is so rewarding, taking another through the steps, seeing another alcoholic experience freedom and joy is absolutely awesome!!!

More on step 12 I have found that "to practice these principles in all my affairs" is what helps to keep me sober, sane, & happy.

I have heard more then one retread say that the had taken the steps but after a while they stopped practicing the principles in all of thier affairs.

[Boleo]

Originally Posted by PaperDolls

This might be too vague of a question but can someone define "Working the Steps" to me?

The "Work" sometimes involves;

Admitting our weaknesses (steps 1,2,5,9,10)
Deciding to take action (steps 3,6,8)
Writing (steps 4,8,10)
Praying (steps 3,7,11)
Contacting others (steps 9,10)
Being of service to others (steps 9,12)

[PaperDolls]

Thank you all so much for your responses.
I think I'll "take" the steps and not "work" them for now.
The word "take" feels better to my brain for some reason.

So now for another question. Some of you know this, some of you don't. This is something I've always struggled with.

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

connect with a higher power of your choice

I learned this from someone here, sorry I can't remember who it was! Let's say my HP is G.O.D. for Group of Drunks which basically equates to my AA group. Ok, so now I've got a higher power and I think I'm feelin' it, if you know what I mean. But this whole spiritual awaking thing scares me. It's foreign to me and it feels out of my grasp and out of the realm of the way my brain works. Turning everything over to my HP as I know it. Well, I have to make decisions on my own ....... of course I also need to attend my AA meetings so I continue to stay connected to my group ...... but turning it all over to them?

I'm typing as this stuff comes out of my brain so forgive me if it doesn't make sense.

I just know I need some guidance on this Spiritual Awakening thing.
I pray sometimes but I've never "felt" God's presence.

I question things, like why so many bad things have to happen to people. I'm sure everyone does that. I'm a tangible person. I want to touch it and see it. I need proof and facts. I guess the whole faith thing is out the window for me.

Ok, enough thinking for this chick.
If you're still reading this congratulations.
And thanks.

[Astro]

Did someone just open up a can o' worms? j/k Jen!

Higher Power, spiritual awakening. Hmmmm......

Last night I heard a guy share that a power greater than myself could be a few sober AA'ers or a classroom full of kindergardeners. Makes sense to me, Step 2 for me was watching a roomful of sober people laughing and talking, or even crying to each other. I knew that had to be the work of a Higher Power, restoring that many alcoholics to sanity.

Now how did I find my own HP? That's a long story, too long to go into here. All I know is that before I took Step 3 I was ready to check out on life, I still considered that an option. On the day I planned to do it my HP put a person in front of me who stuck their hand out and 12th Stepped me. That person is still my best friend, I believe he saved my life. I knew it wasn't just a coincidence that he showed up at that moment.

It says Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps. Some people feel that it happens after you've taken all 12 Steps, my experience was that it happened after I started my 9th Step. We're all going to have different experiences.

My spiritual awakening continues every day. I've come to believe that everything is laid out, the beginning, the middle, and the end. My place in life is to follow my HP's will to the best of my ability, to simply be the best father, friend, partner, brother, etc. that I'm capable of being. The payoff is that I'll have a life beyond my wildest dreams and expectations. I know that sounds pretty lofty, but each day I see it happening a little at a time.

I understand what you're saying about wanting proof and facts, being able to see and touch. All I can say from my own experience is that I have to do the work, take steps forward in my recovery every day, and the rewards follow. Read and understand the Promises, they do come true.

BTW, after you've got your Big Book please get The Little Red Book. I think it'll help to answer quite a few of these questions much better than I can.

Sorry for babbling!