Getting tired of it all...

[jjaaam]

How do you deal with the "pink cloud" going away?

I'm just getting burnt out on going to meetings. My work schedule is nuts. I'm working 12-14 hours a day plus an hour commute (one way - two hours total). So...that's up to 16 hrs just for work. We just recently quit working Saturdays. I had made it a point to not go to meetings on the weekend so I could spend time with my family.

I'm getting to the point where I just feel so worn out that I don't want to go to meetings.

My wife freaks out if I don't go. I know she is right, but I just can't do it day in and day out. Maybe I will just have to start going on the weekends...but in all honesty I really don't want to.

Anyone else have any insight?

[Sugah]

The way I look at it, everything good in my life today - family, work, real friendships, absence of legal issues, not to mention a relationship with the god of my understanding - is a result of my recovery. I'm not responsible for having been born with the inability to drink like a lady, any more than I'd be responsible for being born with a birth defect. I am, however, responsible for the treatment of my alcoholism.

At times, it can seem like a burden. Hell, I want to enjoy these gifts of sobriety! Maybe tonight, when I have an obligation to someone or a service responsibility I accepted, I'd rather stay home and watch the second season of Northern Exposure again. Most of the time, I enjoy my involvement with the fellowship and working with others. Sometimes, though, especially when life seems particularly full and I feel stressed, I can start to rationalize that spending an hour grading papers is more productive than spending an hour at a meeting. Then I remember that the first rationalization makes the second that much easier.

There will come a time, if you're doing what's necessary to build a recovery foundation (not just meetings, but prayer & working the steps with a sponsor) that meetings become maintenance - and an opportunity to carry the message. You might find you don't "need" as many, though you may choose to continue quite regularly.

You know, I walk with a cane. I used to be in a chair (when I got sober), and it was hard then to accept that I couldn't just get up and walk. I tried it. I fell and crushed my leg, setting me back months. Eventually, I was able to park that chair and walk away from it, but I still have the cane. I'd like to throw it away, like to run with my children, like not to be so exhausted at the end of the day - but I have these conditions that prevent me from doing and having those things. It takes me longer to do things, and I have to go a lot slower than the average healthy woman my age, but at the end of the day, I'm grateful that I'm able to do what I do at all. Without putting long hours into physical therapy, I'd still be sitting in that chair, pissed off at the world because I couldn't walk.

I hope you find your pink cloud. My sponsor tells me they're made of gratitude.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[Tommyh]

been there too
I was too tired physically and I did not feel like doing anything.
H.A.L.T. is what we cal it
hungry,angry,lonely and tired...

I had to get more sleep and try and find a balence in life,so I suggest you try a few weekend meetings and find a little more sleeping time during the week and try and get to feel better physically.

[RufusACanal]

How important is you New Life jjaaam?

"Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol."

[Rob B]

I don't believe in Pink Clouds, I believe in the power of God that was revealed to me and through me as the result of doing step work as laid out in our basic text.

Where are you with the steps and sponsoring other folks, this is where the good stuff kicks in.

One last thought, just going to meetings doesn't treat alcoholism.

[lizw]

I hear you. The word 'balance' springs to mind as another person has posted.

Do you have a sponsor? If yes, have you discussed this with them?

And have you started on the steps? If no, why not? And if you are going to meetings, meetings, meetings and not doing any step work, it may indeed be time to try something different....

[gravity]

For me, it is about balance, time management, and keeping strong (spiritually, mentally, physically).

I have two young children, work irregular hours, and I am out of town quite often. My wife also works full time. I exercise everyday, take my kids to their evening activities, contribute around the house, and do social things with my wife, family & friends. I do find time to relax.

Right now, I only go to 2 meetings a week. I am 9 months sober and I have worked through the steps (still have amends to make). I find that trying to practice the steps in my everyday life keeps me strong between meetings. I also find that if I go longer than a week between meetings, I really lose focus (self-centeredness comes back).

Sobriety has to be the priority. There have been times when I was on shaky ground and I had to make time for meetings or to talk to my sponsor.

[BP44]

Whenever I look at the statement of," I'm tired of doing this" or " I don't think I can do all of this" , I get real clear on what "this" is. And it is about recovering from a hopeless state of mind and body. It is about alot more than going to meetings. I have not been bored since throwing myself into the program, fellowship, and vigorous service of Alcoholic's Anonymous. The other question you might want to consider sitting with is this.....what does a glass of whiskey ask of you? If your first step experience is anything like mine, "this" pales in comparison to what a glass of booze asks me to do.

[Tazman53]

jjaaam when I first got sober I went to tons of meetings, I had a temporary sponsor but was not working the steps, at about the 2 month mark I was getting pretty squirrely, I had it in my head that meetings were the answer, well I had a really bad day and came so close to drinking it was scary.

Well I brought this up at a meeting that evening and the old timers told me that working the steps with their sponsor was the answer for them. I spoke with my sponsor about this and he was elated that I was ready to work the steps.

Long story short I had to switch sponsors because my temporary sponsor due to his job did not have the time to help me through the steps, as I worked the steps with my new sponsor things started to improve drastically for the better.

Meetings are great for continuing to learn how to live life on lifes terms and for holding out the hand of AA to those seeking the ES&H offered in meetings, but the key for me has been the steps.

I have cut my meetings back to 3 a week, more if I feel the need, this is thanks to the steps and now working with sponsees, taking them through the steps.

If you do not have a sponsor I suggest getting one, if you have not worked the steps I suggest doing so, for me this made the difference between white knuckling it going to meetings and becoming happy, joyous and free going to fewer meetings and helping other alcoholics.

BTW part of my ongoing amends is spending quality time with my family, this is part of the balance of recovery, I did not get sober to spend every free minute in meetings, I got sober to live life again, which I do now and I also give away freely what was so freely given to me.