Try some controlled drinking.

[RufusACanal]

"Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right- about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!

Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums - we could increase the list ad infinitum.

We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition."

[TTOSBT]

No thank you.
My drinking was never controlled and truly, controlling it would be WAY too much work!
Thanks Rufus, I can never get enough of the BB.

[Tazman53]

Played that game for 10 years, I finally surrendered, of course when the blade is on ones jugalar there is little choice! LOL

[nandm]

Originally Posted by RufusACanal

".........
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums - we could increase the list ad infinitum."

I love this passage as it is an accurate description of nearly every method I tried to get some sense of control over my drinking. I did not get to the health farms, sanitariums, or asylums but did try all of the rest.

It is amazing to me how hard the alcoholic will try to prove themselves non-alcoholic rather than accept a spiritual solution to their problem. I was terrified to admit I was an alcoholic as my picture of the alcoholic was a homeless person pushing their shopping cart down the street with one hand and a brown paper bag with a wine bottle in it in the other hand. Someone who would drink themselves into unconsciousness and sleep on the sidewalk or the middle of a park. It took quite a bit of acceptance to learn that I do not have to go to that extreme to be an alcoholic. Many alcoholics hold down jobs, own homes, have friends, wives, husbands, and children. I was able to hold down a job, house, kids, and friends up to the end. Ironically the ony thing I have left from that is the kids and three of the friends who are happy I found a solution to my alcoholism.

Thank you for the excellent BB quote. I appreciate the readings as I know I need to keep up with my studying and reading of the Big Book. It seems each time I re-read a chapter I find something in it I did not realize was there .....I think there are little sprites that come in while I sleep and add stuff to the book....

[digderidoo]

I certainly had to go through this to realise step 1.

I had tried controlled drinking for 2-3 years before coming to AA. Trouble was everytime i drank i would get drunk. Friday nights would be the start, Saturday i would dry out, Sunday afternoon i would drink, Monday dry out, Tuesday i would be fine, drink Tuesday night or Wednesday night and then dry out till Friday. I thought i was doing ok, but the reality was that i was either drunk or drying out.

Since coming to AA in January i heard many speak of a local program for controlled drinking and how it hadn't worked for them. I always thought to myself i hadn't tried a program of controlled drinking, basically logging my drinking. So i felt i had to try it if only to prove to myself that i could either be successful or unsuccessful. After two weeks in this program i knew controlled drinking wasn't for me.

After 4 weeks of it the last week of May i knew that i was powerless over alcohol. I still had a night out planned for a friends birthday, i felt compelled to go. That night was May 30th. I thought i would limit myself to bottles of budweiser, instead of the usual pint glass at a time. The reality was that i just drank enough bottles to make up for the pints i would drink.

That night was my last drink. Alcohol had beaten me. I do not regret attempting to control it, it got me onto step 1. I felt as though i needed to go through this before i could work an AA program and i am glad that i did. I think if anyone is thinking about controlled drinking means that for that day they have forgotten about the first step.

Paul

[Tazman53]

Every path to AA is different in the particualars, yet it is actually the same when we boil it all down to the nitty gritty is what I have learned in AA. Until I knew in my heart of hearts that I had no power what so ever when I drank, I kept trying to find a way to drink and still enjoy it...... I couldn't.

[debs4321]

Controlled drinking HAHAHA!

I never had any control. My drinking took me straight to "BLACK OUT" phase. I never drank for......."just fun". I wanted to to get to the gusto.

Even if I thought "well, maybe tonight I will have only one or two beers" that was shot out the moment I step into the bar. i never even tried.

Oh well, the past is the past and I am grateful to be sober today.

[Peter]

I tried 'controlled drinking" from 1982 to 1995.......couldn't do it....

[Rob B]

There are a fair amount of folks in AA who may learn some things about themselves by trying some controlled drinking, I can't think of a better way to find ones truth about their relationship with alcohol. That being said, I am not telling anyone to go drink.

If one can control their drinking, why would they need AA, why would they need God? Seems like there are more options than spiritual principals or death.

I have been talking about this lately, it disturbs people on the question of alcoholism. If someone admits they are alcoholic in step one and have decided they are going to "do AA" it mystifies me as to why they don't continue with step work. I see the AA waltz all too often, it goes 1..2...3.. Drink. 1...2...3... drink. I don't get it. Before anyone wants to throw the tradition three only requirement for membership quote at me, read the long form, then we can have an informed discussion.

[Peter]

I came into AA thinking that it was somehow going to help me to achieve the impossible and that the combination of AA wisdom and my wits (haha) would help me to "control my drinking".

I was going to be the first man in AA history to accomplish this.....

Perhaps others are coming into AA with this delusion....

[Tazman53]

3.) Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.

Let us talk inteligently!!! LOL

[RufusACanal]

Originally Posted by Rob B

There are a fair amount of folks in AA who may learn some things about themselves by trying some controlled drinking, I can't think of a better way to find ones truth about their relationship with alcohol. That being said, I am not telling anyone to go drink.

If one can control their drinking, why would they need AA, why would they need God? Seems like there are more options than spiritual principals or death.

I have been talking about this lately, it disturbs people on the question of alcoholism. If someone admits they are alcoholic in step one and have decided they are going to "do AA" it mystifies me as to why they don't continue with step work. I see the AA waltz all too often, it goes 1..2...3.. Drink. 1...2...3... drink. I don't get it. Before anyone wants to throw the tradition three only requirement for membership quote at me, read the long form, then we can have an informed discussion.

"Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely."

[Rob B]

3.) Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. Group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.

Here's what I am getting at, in the long form it states some valuable information that I believe is often overlooked or ignored completely.
AA is for alcoholics, can addicts who are also alcoholic attend AA? yes. Can anyone go to an open meeting? Yes. Will a newcomer be qualified as to whether or not they are alcoholic in my closed meeting primary purpose group? Absolutely. This is done lovingly.

So, how do we recover from alcoholism if we are in AA? Don't drink, go to meetings, ask for help, do the next right thing, choose not to drink just for today, 90 and 90? these work for some folks, However, I don't find those suggestions in my Big Book. We recover by following the path;The 12 steps. In looking at the long form I would submit that anyone who says they want to recover, but won't do stepwork should probably examine this apparent contradiction in beliefs.

[sugErspun]

The book has a fairly clear definition of alcoholism - it may take 40+ pages to explain it, but it's there nonetheless.

"Times" when I couldn't control my drinking. I did not get drunk every time I drank - but there were times I got drunk when I didn't want or intend to and quite frankly, could not afford to. The havoc this caused in my life is unbelievable. Anytime I take a drink - I don't know what's going to happen. And I have tried to manage it, time and again. Best thing for me - is to never drink again, then it won't be a problem.

BUT, I couldn't not drink. As much as I wanted to, needed to - even when the thought of a drink was furthest from my mind, I drank. So - something happens where I just cannot choose to not take that first drink.

An allergy of the body, and an obsession of the mind - neither of which I can control if I look honestly at my experience. This is alcoholism as AA (the book) defines it.

"all those who suffer from alcoholism" - makes more sense when I know what alcoholism is. It doesn't say "all those who drink too much" or "all those who got into a bind because of their drinking. IMO - it says "all those who can't control their drinking when they start, can't stop from taking a drink and are suffering because of it".

We owe it to those waltzing, shuffling, confused, scared, indignant to find out if they have alcoholism or not - the only way I know how to do this is sitting down, reading the book, and discussing: Is this me? Have I had this experience? Does it make sense to me that maybe I am different from the heavy drinker in a fundamental way that I have no understanding of?

Am I as hopeless as Bill?
Are you?

The 'why' of it all - comes next (spiritual malady).

[gravity]

Originally Posted by nandm

It is amazing to me how hard the alcoholic will try to prove themselves non-alcoholic...

This still blows me away. How could I not see anything terribly wrong with what I was doing? Over and over for too many years. Attempting to prove I was not an alcoholic. And what would the payoff be if I wasn't an alcoholic? I could have a beer every now and then! Big deal!

Rationalization, delusion...insanity! I see people out there - staggering around, blacked out, bloodshot eyes, greasy face, rude, hurting people around them, hurting themselves - that used to be me a short time ago and I thought I was fine, "just" an occasional heavy drinker!

And at AA meetings, I do meet people that just don't get it. Introducing themselves as alcoholics yet "relapsing" over & over, refusing to get a sponsor, refusing to do the steps, going to only a couple of meetings a month, etc. I'm really happy that they are attending meetings but it is almost like their ego prevents them from accepting the solution. I am not a big fan of clichés but "not done drinking" seems to fit. It certainly described me.

[bob_sapp]

They say "Noone gets here by accident." I don't go around saying I'm an alkie when people ask why I don't drink, I see myself as a person who has had addiction problems and doesn't want to go back so I avoid all mind-altering chemicals including alcohol. I don't mind saying I'm an alkie when I am with my program friends or in a meeting, but I find people don't understand the term outside of meetings and tell me I'm not an alcoholic because of my age, I haven't lost it all, I'm not living in a dumpster, how often I drank or something else. I felt like I controlled my drinking during my last three months of drinking while going to AA. I only got drunk once and that was by choice, but I was a wreck and didn't enjoy drinking anymore. Since booze wouldn't take away my pain I had no choice but to come to AA. I don't think it mattered how much I drank or with who anymore, I needed complete sobriety and serious spiritual help or I was going to off myself with or without booze.

[lizw]

I was thinking about this last night before I went to sleep. God knows why. My memories of what I was like and how I felt at the end, before I went to treatment are pretty hazy. I can remember particular incidents but not day to day living.

For example, I knew I was going to treatment, so I just stopped. Just like that. I'd also been in a car accident (drunk) and smashed some of my teeth out, so that was a bit of a good motivator. I recall screaming, I don't want to be one of those drunken old hags with no teeth, at one of my friends after the accident.

So 2 weeks pass, have no recollection of how I felt or how I was living day to day, during those 2 weeks, I assume I was still working in the sex industry, but then this friend of my brothers turns up at my house and asks if I want to smoke some grass. It was Easter weekend. Well grass wasn't as bad as drinking (in my mind) so I did then a few hours later ended up at this party drinking. And I was the type of drunk that was blessed with 'brilliant ideas' when drunk so thinking it would be very funny, I stole one of my friends cars, who was present at this party.

Orginally my plan was to just drive it round the block a few times then take it back. Sort of give him a scare but one I got round the block I thought f**k this, there's lots of better places I want to go than back to the party. And I had that car for 48 hours and eventually got arrested, which is how my friend got his car back....

So that was my last attempt at trying to control my drinking. Once I sobered up, I can vividly remember thinking, I can't believe you done that, what is wrong with you!

[Kimmers927]

I love this passage in the BB. It makes me think of all the games I use to play -- and I could rationalize anything and everything.. My ideas of controlled drinking were: take a glass of water between each drink, leave the drink on a table half full, then go to the bar and get another, drink just wine or beer the whole night etc, etc. Oh, the powerlessness! There is no such thing as controlled drinking for me. I drank to get drunk, bottom line. And there was no such thing as stopping for "a" drink. If I couldn't drink beyond 1 drink, then I wouldn't have the drink.

[SelfSeeking]

Originally Posted by Kimmers927

I love this passage in the BB. It makes me think of all the games I use to play -- and I could rationalize anything and everything.. My ideas of controlled drinking were: take a glass of water between each drink, leave the drink on a table half full, then go to the bar and get another, drink just wine or beer the whole night etc, etc. Oh, the powerlessness! There is no such thing as controlled drinking for me. I drank to get drunk, bottom line. And there was no such thing as stopping for "a" drink. If I couldn't drink beyond 1 drink, then I wouldn't have the drink.

Oh my god, get out of my head!!

Sheesh. All us alcoholics playing the same games, all thinking certainly they're brilliant solutions to our lack of control...