update on " a beer by mistake"

[ccommer]

Hello---Well I said I felt very vulnerable to a relapse and that is what I did.I decided just to have a couple of drinks....so here I am.* Now, do not beat me up, but the real turning point for me, the real change in my thinking came with the obsession that I would have to change my date.* Alot of people did not feel that way, but alot did, as did my sponsor, although she would not have forced me to do so.* I just could not get past this, I wish I would have....I just feel like I lost what was for me a critical part of my recovery.* The "time" had kept me from drinking once before.* And, oh yes, I have heard that "time is not a tool"Anyway the drink itself (from my original post), the obsessing about it, the consequence of changing my date, the building resentments around all of this was enough, I guess....I started thinking about drinking and eventually did.Now here I am on day one, yuck!!* On one hand, I could beat myself, obsess, resent.....but that would lead to more drinking.** On the other hand, I can strive to move on, face this one day at a time, work a good program and strengthen the things that may have been lacking in my program.I think that is what I need to do...focus on today, I can move on,* the good thing is that I feel like my "non-drinking" life is stronger than my "drinking" life, if that makes sense.Thanks for listening---Chris

[ccommer]

should have done the preview, it was easier to read and understand with paragraphs

[dancinggirl]

I also drank and have now lost all my time, too. No shame in starting again, though. No shame in it at all. I, as well, feel that my "non-drinking" life is stronger than my "drinking" life. It just wasn't worth it.

[CarolD]

Good to know you are both making a fresh start.

[Rowan]

Well, it seems that what was a simple mistake was overcomplicated.

Regardless, what's done is done.

If you can, try to wrap your head around the idea that we all have the same amount of sobriety here - TODAY -

I have relapsed after a couple of years - twice - and I understand how discouraging it can be to start over. That's where pride and ego were trying to win. So I just broke it down, and admitted that again, yes, I was powerless over alcohol.

Leave the debate behind you, and start where you are.

I'm glad you made it back.

[Jfanagle]

We all start over everyday. Yesterday’s actions in all aspects of our lives are simply history. I firmly believe that the ATTITUDE that we bring to today is the real measure of the life we lead.

Your attitude is GREAT. You are examining your life and motives, and that is a lot more than most of US do. I am certainly guilty of taking too many things for granted.

My hat is off to you and I want to extend my admiration and very best wishes. You have really got a great understanding of what sober living is all about.

Jon

[TTOSBT]

Yup, all we have is today.
I am VERY happy that you came right back!
You have not lost all that recovery you gained in that 4 years. But you certainly learned a valuable lesson.

[Tazman53]

Welcome home!!!!

Look you will always have that sober time, it is not lost, draw upon it, examine it with your sponsor and others in the program. I can assure you that there were some good things you were doing in your program, maybe you quit doing them, maybe there were things you were doing that you should not have been doing, maybe there were things you should have done more of.

There is a lady I know who was sober and in the program for 6 years and she messed up with pills, I was lucky enough to have been at the meetiing where she came clean and picked up her white chip and began again. She has been sober for over 3 months this time and is a wealth of knowledge in sharing what she was doing right and what she has learned she was doiing wrong. She has spent a great deal of time with her sponsor honestly going over her program before she relapsed and shares with all of us where she was weak and where she was strong...... she has shared her road to relapse and her road back to recovery.

[lizw]

Sorry to hear you've been lapsing.

I thought about your previous situation with 'the beer by mistake' a bit, even after the thread was closed. It was a lively discussion.

I have asked myself what I would've done, if it was me and I would not have changed my soberity date but I would have put a stop to drinking non A beer.

Last year, I went out for dinner with my new BF at the time and a group of his mates and we went to the japanese type resturant. They cook the food on a grill thing in front of you and (as I discovered) use alcohol in the food. The BF knew I was an AA member but his friends didn't. I went to the bathroom and rang an AA friend from my cellphone and aid what the F am I suppose to do. She asked if I planned on eating so much food cooked in alcohol that it would affect me and make me drunk. Of course I didn't so we laughed about it, I went back out and ate the food, some say the alcoholic content burns off but who knows, really.

But, as a learning expereince, I would never intentionally put myself in that kind of situation again.

I think sometimes it is what we learn from these kinds of expereinces that are improtant not the expereinces themselves.

[StayinAlive]

Just a conformation that this disease never really gets cured and how addictive reasoning(alcoholic thinking)can take over in a heart beat and unleash the beast that lay dormant for so long if we get complacent. Thanks for sharing. Hang in there.

[RufusACanal]

Welcome to a New Life ccommer!