Poison!!!!!

[Tazman53]

Right now I am feeling pretty eat up with the dumb arse!

Time and time again I try to communicate with some one and my words get twisted by them into things I never meant.

I re-read what I posted and try to figure out how in the world they can twist what I said into what they say I said?

Obviously I need to treat them like alcohol, I need to just ignore them, accept that they are like alcohol to me, they take my thoughts and actions and twist them into something I never intended them to be.

I just need to accept that as with alcohol, no matter what manner I try to deal with them things get twisted in a manner I have no control over.

I apologize to any and all that may have viewed what I said as being Holier then thou, or any form of attack.

That is not me, I know it is not me, some may feel it is, if what I say is viewed as confrontational, it is not meant to be that way and never was.

Just a few things to say that hopefully will not get twisted.

I have never said that any one was not an alcoholic who said they were.

I have never said that AA is the only path to recovery for an alcoholic, but it is the path for me.

[debs4321]

Tazman............

What I have come to know about forums is, sometimes words can get misread. Sometimes people can misunderstand how they read a post.

People are people.....regardless if they are alcoholic or not. They are eithor gonna understand it or not.

I have had times when posting at forums (not this one in particular, yet) when someone has taken what I wrote and took it in a different way. It is only because............they cant look me in the eye, hear my tone of voice, or even know what kind of person I am, etc etc..........

I have been misunderstood, words are words, and can be misunderstood.

I do not ever recommend forum/chatroom style meetings in replacement of
F2F meetings.

Everyone has their own way understanding.

This is why, someone can read a book and say............."Wow, that book was awesome!!!! I can totally understand what the writer was saying. He spoke the truth, I believe, etcetc......"

And another can read the same book and say ..........."That book was boring, The writer has no idea what he is saying. I couldnt follow along, it was too difficult to understand. etc etc.........."


It is all about in how I perceive things.

I think you have alot of wisedon Tazman...........Dont take things people write personal. Some people will understand, while some people wont.

[Tazman53]

I do not ever recommend forum/chatroom style meetings in replacement of
F2F meetings.

I concur with that totally, F2F meetings do not have a substitute for me. I enjoy the forums greatly, but I do find that usually one can explain to other people the true meaning of what they have posted, some folks though seem to simply want to focus on the negative and slyly twist the words and the meaning of what some one else says. I will just accept that fact about some and ignore them.

Dont take things people write personal.

I am pretty good at that usually, but some times it does hurt when others start thinking I meant something negative when I did not.

[debs4321]

I understand exactly what you mean.

Dont spend your time being angry, or "eat up" by the ones that dont want to understand.

Save your energy for the ones who do (me for one) understand and value your words.

Tazman...........you rock!!!!

[Tazman53]

Debs I am far from angry, hurt is the word...... and not hurt by what was said by that person, but hurt by what that person misled someone to believe.

I just need to accept that what others think, and what I know, do not always align, what they think of me, or lead others to beleive of me are none of my business and being hurt by that does me nor any one else any good.

It takes time & thought from my program and from spreading the message. Actually it helps me to see another area I need to work on.

[dancinggirl]

It's so hard online sometimes, isn't it? Things are lost so easily by not being able to hear tones, see facial expressions, changes in nuances, etc..

I, for one, greatly appreciate all of your posts and the help that you have given to me.

[tkdan]

Taz, keep up the good work. Your posts have meant a great deal to me. People are people, we are not perfect. How I wish I did not let people rub me the wrong way or take things the wrong way at times. I've never thought you were being out of line. I truly believe that you have the best intentions when you share. Remember there are many more that gain from what you have to say than those who might miss read you. I know in the past if something you wrote rubbed me the wrong way it was because my pride was in the way of the truth. I will say again, keep up the good work buddy!

[GrouchoTheCat]

Taz,

You're like a rock around here. A rock like an anchor. Steady and consistent.

Please note that I DID NOT say that you have rocks in your head and that you bring me down like an anchor!!! He He !!!



Live and let live...

Some are sicker...

[deezaldog]

Gee folks, being an alcoholic I am thinking "hope I havent offended anyone or twisted things around' I take my sobriety seriouse but that is for me. I do get a lot of great support from this site and I try to do my best. One time I did get my nose in a pinch but after thinking about it people were right! It was as good as an AA mtg for me. I needed to hear what was said.
Us alcoholics are sensitive people, arent we? Like you said you cannot control what others think, say or do. Just stay sober for yourself. I enjoy this site a great deal and what everyone shares. Sometimes I have to get myself to hold back because I want to help and want everyone to enjoy sobriety like I do. Being alcoholic I think everyone would succeed if they did it the way I did.
Taz, I hope your day goes much better and you continue to do your work. LOL

[Tazman53]

Thanks guys, I am just throwing this out there to get it off of my chest, I held things in for way to many years, the things I let fly in the day were meant to hurt, they no longer are meant to hurt, I am trying to help and also to be helped. Just getting this out is helping me a great deal, thanks guys.

[Jfanagle]

I like you

Jon

[Tazman53]

LOL thanks Jon, sometimes I need to just sit back and accept me for who I am and learn to like that and quit worrying about what some folks say or feel about me. At least they don't call me "The one armed man" any more!!!!

[ananda]

You know Taz....face to face, modem to modem...makes no real difference as far as I can see....people hear what they hear..

I use to get really upset (and I guess still do at times) because people sometimes took what I said and twisted it around to mean the oppisite of what I intended...kinda funny they would "thank me" for what I said and then talk and it was sooooo not the way i intended it.

People have taken my comments as personal attacks on occation. What I try to do is take a good look at it, see if there is a different way to express myself that is less "harmful". And then go on.

If we are out there living and walking with others through the journey of sobriety, we will hurt people..just as we will help others. For me, it is just trying to walk as skillfully through the path as I can.

[Paulie]

My H says forums are like a meeting with cross talk LMAO

Follow the feeling in your heart, not your head and it will always be okay, no matter what anyone thinks or says.

[RufusACanal]

For all of my faults Taz, I still love you. The Ignore function has been a blessing until I take it off and go back and read all the crap in response. I wear my feelings on my sleeve and it causes me more grief than necessary.

Father Martin says it best. As long as I keep intellect over emotion, my way is smooth.

[stone]

For my part, I am sorry Taz. I have always considered you a friend and still do.

[Tazman53]

People have taken my comments as personal attacks on occation. What I try to do is take a good look at it, see if there is a different way to express myself that is less "harmful". And then go on.

Ananda I have tried that numerous times in this case, all to no avail, just accepting that the best course of action in this case is to just TOTALLY ignore and accept that no matter what I say it is going to be twisted into being wrong and as you say move on.

[Tazman53]

Thanks to all of you, I am slowly learning.

[PaperDolls]

Taz, I like you even if I don't agree with everything you say.
I think that's the kind of guy you are too. You are a good person.

SR wouldn't be the same without you.

I appreciate you.

[Peter]

Taz I reread your most recent posts and i don't have a clue what you are talking about.

Nothing in your words conveyed a "holier than thou" attitude.

You speak the language of AA and you speak it well. If someone misinterpreted what you said well perhaps they were just in the wrong forum.

[CarolD]

....I read everything everyone writes here.
It seems that some members only show up to fuss.

Our button...Ignore User .. is easy to use.

[gravity]

Tazman,

I have always found great value in your words and opinions. I find you to be a very strong believer in sobriety and AA. You have been there for me more than once.

I have been thinking about the war of words that sometimes happen on SR. I try not to fall into that trap, to take the bait. It only strengthens the resolve to prove others wrong. Also, I do try to see the value in the opinions of others – respect that opinion even if I do not agree with it. I was taught this years ago by my uncle, a spiritual leader.

Perspective. Many of us who post on SR, including myself, have been blessed with sobriety and the daily reprieve to stay sober. We can post about the more detailed aspects of AA and sobriety with the comfort of knowing that we will make it through the day. Whether we are in AA or not, we are very fortunate.

At my meeting on Saturday, there were three individuals that were deeply suffering. Physically, mentally, and spiritually broken, one man with bruises covering the side of his face. Sweating, shaking, scared – reaching out for help. Life & death. My fellow man. This is where I will focus my energy not just because it will keep me sober but because it is the right thing to do. Helping...not fighting each other.

[PaperDolls]

Originally Posted by Peter

You speak the language of AA and you speak it well. If someone misinterpreted what you said well perhaps they were just in the wrong forum.

You have no control how someone's reaction to something you do. You only have control of your (re)actions.

Everything that comes from your mouth is because you care. I know that. We love you.