The rules of AA?

[nandm]

I have heard it said there are not "rules" in AA. Upon study of the book I have found several passages that refer to "rules" in AA. I have posted my thoughts on the passages below each BB quote. Please share your thoughts on this topic, the quotes, your experience, etc.....
I am very interested in hearing from each of you.


The rule is.....

The rule is we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others.

This is one of the only rules in the book. Do we have such a lack of concern for the well being of others that we would try to gain relief for ouselves at their expense? We are attempting to gain freedom from selfishness.


needlessly sacrifice others.....

Therefore, we are not to be the hasty and foolish martyr who would needlessly sacrifice others to save himself from the alcoholic pit.

We must not lighten our own load while increasing the burden of others. Careful thought and consultation with others must precede each amend we make. Selfishly pursuing our own relief while disregarding the best interest of othes will only compound our problems.


love and tolerance is our code.......

Love and tolerance of others is our code.
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone even alcohol.

Being freed from the chains of selfishness we are able to follow a path that leads to happiness, joy, and fulfillment. Our very lives depend upon this change of motivation. While we are in the grip of selfishness we are dead to the Spirit. Our work helping others brings our faith to life so that we may truly live.


not to avoid a place.......

So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties.

Alcohol is not the problem. Our drinking is but a symptom. The root cause of our problem is selfishness and self-centeredness. We turn to God to restore us to sanity. Our obsession to drink is removed as a result of our surrender of our will and our lives to a Power greater than ourselves. There is no need to hide from aspects of life that include drinking. God grants us a daily reprieve from the need and desire to drink.


live and let live is the rule........

Live and let live is the rule. If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticize each other.

It does not take much spiritual effort to step out of the way of the tornado that is alcoholism. It takes a great deal of spiritual effort to abandon many of our failed methods of coping with life and accept the guidance of spiritual principles.

[lizw]

Selfish and self centeredness is our problem.

I actually got to a real life AA meeting on Saturday and while I was there a newcomer shared what had brought him in.

What struck me in what he spoke was how much he used people. I.e. hadn't spoke to his mum for 3 years but still expected her to give him a bed when he felt the need.

I hadn't thought of this kind of thing, since god knows when but when I was drinking, I was the same.
All I was interested in was what you could give me and how I could use you to meet my own needs.
For example

• If I didn't have a car I made sure I had at least one friend with one, who was freely avail to drive me round.
• I only had friends who were drinkers so I could drink their booze too.
• I only wanted to be friends with people who I deemed 'social popular' in the crowd I was hanging out with.
• I wasn't interested in any problems you had in your life, I just wanted you to listen to mine

The list goes on and on really.

The friends I have these days are my friends because I like them, not because of what they can do for me. It was nice to be reminded of this.

[Peter]

The programme of AA is full of suggestions and rules that I as an alcoholic would be best advised to follow.

[Rob B]

The only requirement for membership is not the only requirement to recover.

[thebossofme]

An old-timer in my group put it to me this way...

Rule 1: Keep coming to meetings, and don't pick up that first drink.

Rule 2: See rule 1.

[Tazman53]

Great post Nadm, I am with Rob though, there are in my opinion no rules to be a member of AA except a desire to stop drinking, there are a lot of suggestions and some rules to recovery though.