Whose way is easier and softer?

[RufusACanal]

1. Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now.

2. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it—then you are ready to take certain steps.

3. At some of these we balked.

4. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start.

5. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

6. Remember that we deal with alcohol—cunning, baffling, powerful!

7. Without help it is too much for us.

8. But there is One who has all power—that One is God. May you find Him now!

Excerpts from "How it Works”, Chapter Five of the First Edition of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

[Tazman53]

Mentally I thought my way was, but I stayed drunk my way. once I surrendered I found that the AA way was the easier softer way, I got tired of having my butt handed to me on a silver platter trying what I thought was the easier softer way!

The AA way for me was not easy, nor was it all that soft for me, but the results have been easier and softer on me then what I felt was the easier softer way of my way.

[miss communicat]

surrendering totally is freeing.

resisting, even just a little reservation, is torture.

But living the spiritual principles in all my affairs asks alot of this alcoholic.
I've come to see that much is asked, and much is offered in return.

A good life!

[Peter]

For me AA turned out to be the "easier, softer way".

Had I chosen "my way" I would have been singing Frank Sinatra all the way to my death...

[RufusACanal]

I posted this thread as a reminder of the basic and simple instructions necessary to every man and woman who desires a new life; free from the ravages of Alcoholism. It cannot be stressed enough that recovery from Alcoholism is dependent on the unity of the Alcoholic who must come to terms with their personal responsibility to go any lengths while shedding their old ideas and the acceptance of a Power greater than self that frees us. No one pours a drink down the throat of another; if you drink, you have made the decision to live your way. No one stands in the way of another’s recovery, for each of us is solely responsible for the continuation of our needs on a daily basis. Freedom comes from accepting that drinking no longer works, that self power no longer works, that excuses no longer work, that only through surrendering to something greater and changing everything can one recover.

[Astro]

I searched for the fabled easier, softer way for awhile. I went to AA meetings and stayed sober, miserable and wracked with pain, afraid of the difficulty I faced in working the steps.

I looked for a woman who would come to my rescue, I read self-help books looking for answers, I read the Steps and looked between the lines for hidden meanings. I prayed to God that someone would have mercy on me and show me the easier way to peace and serenity.

It's spelled out very well in "How It Works". Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

The easier, softer way was right in front of me the whole time. It lies in the program of AA and the 12 Steps & Traditions.

[ANGELINA243]

Originally Posted by Astro

It's spelled out very well in "How It Works". Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.

For me--I've sometimes heard this said backwards at meetings--which also makes perfect sense. "Thoroughly" have we seen a person fail who has "rarely" followed our path.

I "rarely" followed the path until I was beaten down enough ( ie pretty mangled up) by alcohol and was then blessed with GOD>Gift Of Desperation. Since then--I have been "thoroughly" working the Steps with a sponsor and am making progress in my sobriety.

The answer is in the 12 Steps. Just going to meetings is ok--it helps>but it doesn't keep you sober....I tried that for a long time. The 12 Steps are definitely the easier, softer way!

I spent way too much time/energy "out there"--planning/scheming ways to drink, trying not to get caught by family/police etc. This new way of life is a "piece of cake" compared to my old one....simple but not always easy.

[Astro]

Originally Posted by ANGELINA243

simple but not always easy.

I love that phrase Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid. The word simple turns up at least 17 times in the first 164 pages of the Big Book.

Most of us have already paid some pretty hefty prices. It feels really good to commit ourselves to the easier, softer, and simpler way.

[lizw]

At meetings, in my area, there was this old timer, who has since died, that (when he shared) use to slam his fist on the table and bellow "AA is the easier softer way."

It use to scare the sh*t out of me and it was pretty funny.

[RufusACanal]

Only if you put on new glasses....

[fraankie]

".......Whose way is easier and softer? ....."

someone qualified, long ao, at the 101 club, pompano beach, florida
how he took the easier, softer way
so
haven't heard much about it sine then
at the 1ooo's of meetings i've been to
to find a new way of life
but
my sense was always
the easier, softer way
is
you stop drinking
you make your meeting
sponsor
work the steps
but
you are really just sort of buzzing around the program
not putting all your effort into it
you sort of coast
you do service
but
not too much
enough to get a compliment now and then
enough to say, "i got a commitment"
enough to call someone
and
"can you take my commitment tonight, i got another committment to honor"
"sure, you do a lot, i'll do it for you"
you help others
"here's my phone number" to new guys
but
you don't return their calls
who's to know
when you go to the meeting, people see you giving your number to a new guy
"Hey, he's helping a new guy"
nice picture
how do they know you screen your calls
ala answering machine, voice mail
i love that call id
it's him again
and
so
on and on
the easier , softer way

[tommyk]

NA/AA sure made things easier and softer for me.

Most everything was mapped out for me, all I had to do was follow instructions.

[jimhere]

From the original lithograph manuscript of Chapter Five as written by Bill Wilson in 1939 before the book Alcoholics Anonymous went to press:


Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our directions. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a way of life that demands rigorous honesty.Their chances are less than average. There are those too who suffer grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to follow directions.

At some of these you may balk. YOU MAY THINK THAT CAN FIND AN EASIER SOFTER WAY. WE DOUBT IF YOU CAN. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.

Remember that you are dealing with alcohol-cunning, baffling, powerful! With help it is too much for you. But there is One who has all power-That One is God. You must find him now!

Half measures will avail you nothing. You stand at the turning point. Throw yourself under God's protection and care with complete abandon.

Now we think you can take it. Here are steps we took, which are suggested as your program of recovery:

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had became
unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God's care and direction.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our
wrongs.
6. Were entirely willing to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly, on our knees, asked God to remove our shortcomings, holding nothing back.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make complete amends
to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people, except when to do so would injure them or
others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our contact with God, praying only
for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual experience as the result of this course of action, we tried to
carry this message to others, especially alcoholics, and to practice these principles
in all of our affairs.

You may exclaim "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No
one among has been able to maintain perfect adherance to these principles. We are not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we set are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after have been designed to sell you these three pertinent ideas:
(a) That you are alcoholic and cannot manage your own life.
(b) That no human power can relieve you of your alcoholism.
(c) That God can and will.

If you are not convinced of these vital issues, you ought to re-read the book to this point, or else throw it away.


Big Book references from Alcoholics Anonymous, First Edition and from pre publication manuscript.

[RufusACanal]

Jim and Frankie,

Would you do me a favor and post your excellent info on the thread, A new Life in Alcoholism for me? Thanks

[laurie6781]

Rufus when I first read this several days ago I had to 'think' about it. I had to tink back on when I got sober and how it was for me.

Now I got sober in the San Fernando Valley in Southern California and there were several Alano clubs that held meetings all day and all evening long. they also each had a 'game room" were lots of folks hung out.

However, something I noticed pretty early in recovery that those that just 'hung out' at the clubs seemed to want to get recovery by osmosis, absorb it out of the air and not do any personal work, and they sure didn't look to happy.

On the other hand, those that I met in the meetings, that actually smiled all the way to their eyes, and laughed all the way from their abdomens were doing the work of the 12 steps. Those folks gave me HOPE and made me feel safe, so they were the ones I wanted to follow.

I got a sponsor and followed directions to the best of my ability, not perfect, sometimes kicking and screaming, but I did it. Of course, I wanted it ALL right away and would get frustrated when my sponsor would say SLOW DOWN. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

But for this alkie, the Easier, Softer Way, was following my Sponsor's guidance and teaching me how to apply the Big Book of AA to MY LIFE.

For this alkie, who had to die to find recovery, the program of AA as outlined in the The Big Book of AA was and is the Easier, Softer, Way. That btw was over 27 years ago and has given me a life that I never believed was possible!!!!! I have a close relationship with what is left of my family, I have unconditional love from my beloved fur babies, I have dear dear friends, one of whom lives with me, I had an excellent career in the Health field, I live okay today on a fixed income never wanting for things...................and none of it, no NONE OF IT would have been possible without the program of AA.

J M H O

Lovc and hugs,

[TTOSBT]

I really needed this tonight. I did not make my normal Friday night meeting and well, I just needed this tonight.
Jim, thanks for original manuscript.
I am working my 3rd step and I MEAN working it. Just reading the step, put THIS way was a tremendous help tonight
"3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God's care and direction."

[vegibean]

I believe it all depends on how you look at it.