Dry Drunk #2

[Tommyh]

recently,a thread was discussed about dry drunks
A lady friend sent this to me,I wanted to post it.It has some good useful info in it.

Dry Drunk Syndrome

Sobriety will necessarily have its ups and downs, its good times and its bad times,
if only because we live in a world which we are inseparably joined.
One doesn't always sustain sobriety at the same level. There are fluctuations, shocks
and setbacks which, when addressed within the context of the A.A. program, so not in
themselves imperil the totality of one's sobriety. The Dry Drunk Syndrome is a term
that should not be used as a catch-all when one has a bad day or a bump in life throws
us for a while. Those are ups and downs that everyone experiences and shouldn't be
labeled to be anything more than what they truly are. The Dry Drunk is a condition
far more serious than the highs and lows of our day-to-day existence.

The phrase "dry drunk" has two significant words for the alcoholic.
"Dry" refers to the abstinence from drinking, whereas "drunk" signifies a deeply
pathological condition resulting from the use of alcohol in the past.
Taken together these words suggest intoxication without alcohol.
Since intoxication comes from the Greek word for poison, "dry drunk" implies
a state of mind and a mode of behavior that are poisonous to the alcoholic's well being.

[Tommyh]

OBVIOUS TRAITS

Persons experiencing a full-blown DRY DRUNK are,
for that period, removed from the world of sobriety; they fail,
for whatever reason, to accept the necessary conditions for sober living.
Their mental and emotional homes are chaotic, their approach to everyday
living is unrealistic, and their behavior, both verbal and physical, is unacceptable.

This lack of sober realism manifests itself in many ways.

1. Grandiosity, put very simply, is an exaggeration of one's own importance.
This can be demonstrated either in terms of one's strengths or weaknesses.
In either case it is blatantly self- seeking or self-serving, putting oneself
at the center of attention, from the "big me" who has ask the answers to the
"poor me" whose cup of self-pity runneth over and wants all of our attention.

2. Judgmentalism is mutually related to grandiosity. It means that the alcoholic
is prone to make value judgments - strikingly inappropriate evaluations -
usually in terms of "goodness" or "badness".

3. Intolerance leaves no room for delaying the gratification of personal desires.
This is accomplished by gross confusion of priorities with the result that a
mere whim or passing fancy is mistakenly given more importance than genuine personal needs.

4. Impulsivity is the result of intolerance or the lack of ability to delay
gratification of personal desires. Impulsivity describes behavior which is heedless
of the ultimate consequence for self or others.

5. Indecisiveness is related to impulsitivity in the sense that while the latter
takes no realistic account of the consequences of the actions, the former precludes
effective action altogether. Indecisiveness stems from an unrealistic exaggeration
of the negative possibilities of the action ; so one wavers between two or more
possible courses of action, more times than not- nothing gets done.

[Tommyh]

These conditions, grandiosity, judgmentalism, intolerance ,impulsivity, and
indecisiveness taken separately or together can lead to the
following: a) Mood swings, which are unrelated to the circumstances to
which one tries to link them. Alcoholics zero in on what they want others to
think is the cause of the mood swing, when it isn't that at all. More often
than not it is something much deeper than the reason given. Inversely it can
also be something totally insignificant with no substance at all
(e.g. the sugar is too sweet or the donut is too round). Any excuse will do.
b) Unable to demonstrate emotions freely, naturally and without constraint.
No emotional spontaneity, no genuine spark. c) Introspection. A very healthy
thing to do is difficult if not impossible for the "dry drunk". It means to
look inward to one's examining each thought and desire, which is linked
directly to one's attitude. d) Detachment. Become aloof, display indifference,
don't care one way or the other, no special likes or dislikes, they withdraw.
e) Self-absorption- with a tendency to call attention to whatever they have attained.
Narcissism which is quite simply self-love. They become pompous asses.
f) The inability to appreciate or enjoy themselves - nothing satisfies.
g) Evidence of disorganization, is easily distracted, complains of boredom,
and nothing seems to fit. h) A nostalgia sets in, a kind of wistful yearning
for something of the past, such as freedom from care associated (falsely)
with drinking, bars, drinking associates, and friends; the music, blue lights,
and tinkle of the ice cubes in a glass in the neighborhood saloon.
i) There can be a kind of romanticism, which includes unrealistic valuations of
lifestyles and character traits which can be and usually are objectively
dangerous to one's sobriety. j) Escapism. Fantasizing, daydreaming, and wishful
thinking are very much in evidence in the dry drunk syndrome as the individual
slips farther and farther from reality.

[Tommyh]

Since the abnormality of the alcoholic's attitudes and behavior during the
drinking career is generally recognized, the persistence or these character
traits after stopping drinking (or the reappearance after an interlude of sobriety)
is equally abnormal.

The term "dry drunk" therefore denotes the absences of favorable change in the
attitudes and behavior of the alcoholic who is not drinking, or the reversion
of these by the alcoholic who has experienced a period of successful sobriety.
From these conditions, it is to be inferred that the alcoholic is experiencing
discomfort in life.

The self-destructive attitudes and behavior of the dry drunk alcoholic are
different in degree but not in kind. The alcoholic, when drinking, has learned
to rely on a deeply inadequate, radically immature approach to solving life's problems.
And this is exactly what one sees in the dry drunk.

[Tommyh]

ANALYSIS OF DRY DRUNK BEHAVIOR
The alcoholic who rationalizes their own irresponsible
behavior are also likely to find fault in the attitudes and behavior of others. Although
not denying their own shortcomings, they attempt to escape notice by cataloging in great
detail the transgressions of others.

The classic maneuver of the dry drunk is over-reaction. The alcoholic may attach a seemingly disproportionate intensity of feeling to an ordinary insignificant event or mishap.

Some alcoholics who experience the dry drunk seem to know all the answers, are seldom at a loss for words when it comes to self-diagnosis. Their knowledge is quite impressive, their apparent insight, as opposed to genuine insight, is convincing.

[Tommyh]

CORRECTIVE MEASURES:
Those undergoing a dry drunk lead impoverished lives. They experience severe limitations to grow, to mature, and benefit from the possibilities that life offers. They lack the freshness and spontaneity that genuinely sober alcoholics manifest. Their life is a closed system, attitudes and behaviors are stereotyped, repetitive, and consequently predictable.

Alcoholics learn early that humility and a power greater than them- selves are the bedrock for a genuine and productive sobriety. An unusual measure of self-discipline must accompany the ego deflation process. Needed is self-discipline in honesty, patience and responsibility towards the recovery process [and acceptance of their disease]. [To improve long term goals of sobriety be aware of mental stressors, get more involved in the recovery program, get active in the 12 steps, get and use a sponsor, talk things out.] Hopefully. they will begin to appreciate the ironic folly of those alcoholics who think life has suddenly become manageable again; whose sanity is beyond question; who see no need of turning their lives over to a power greater then them- selves; who find personal inventories unnecessary since they are seldom in the wrong and are no longer subject to the embarrassing need of repairing the wrongs they have done.

When dry drunk alcoholics awaken to this irony that they, still unmanageable, still powerless, are the ones who have made this remarkable "recovery," they may feel sufficiently mortified to want to change.

[Peter]

I do not regard "dry drunk" as a true "syndrome" but rather a colloquial expression coined by AA

[suki44883]

I do not regard "dry drunk" as a true "syndrome" but rather a colloquial expression coined by AA

I agree. Not everyone who doesn't attend a "program" lives impoverished lives or experience severe limitations to grow, to mature, and benefit from the possibilities that life offers. Sorry, that's just a bunch of bull hockey.

[tommyk]

I can remember being 'dry drunk' a few times back in my college days.

I got drunk, ran out of money, couldn't buy any more drinks, had to stagger home and dry out.

Just my definition of being 'dry drunk'.

(NOTE: no offense intended, just feeling like a bit of humor...)

[sugErspun]

It says that the "drunk" portion of "Dry Drunk" is the result of past alcohol use ("pathological condition resulting from use of alcohol in the past" ).

Alcohol is not the reason I have alcoholism. Most of those traits were present in my life a long time before I ever had my first drink....

Other than that part - I think it's a pretty good description of restless, irritable, discontent.

[lizw]

I'm going to be a smart a** and say, cough, cough, big smile
"thank god I've never had that during my 10 years soberity...now excuse me, I've got a world to run..."



I am also reminded of that joke.
Why don't alcoholics like god/a hp?
Cause we don't like competition...

[353]

Originally Posted by Peter

I do not regard "dry drunk" as a true "syndrome" but rather a colloquial expression coined by AA

Since "the 12 step program" was coined by AA and this is the "alcoholism-12 step support" section....what is the point of this post?

[Peter]

Originally Posted by 353

Since "the 12 step program" was coined by AA and this is the "alcoholism-12 step support" section....what is the point of this post?

...huh..?

[BP44]

I refrained from the similar thread in the other forum primarily because there were entirely too many people expressing opinions based on experiences they had never had. While some may be offended by the term dry drunk, it really doesn't matter what you believe or what you feel, what's your experience? What happens when you are separated from alcohol? See, for me dry drunk is how I experience myself simply separated from alcohol. I have problems with relationships, can't control my emotional nature, I'm a prey to misery and depression, have no sense of direction, can't be of real use to others. This is me separated from alcohol. It is my spiritual malady. It is the reason I drank. It's the reason I'll drink again left untreated. Now on the other thread we had people saying stuff like, " well I don't believe in powerlessness " or " I don't believe in a spiritual malady". And that's fine, but the discussion is over at that point. You are separate from me. By your belief system based on opinion. I on the other hand am not separated from those who express that opinion because I have experienced the exact same belief systems. And I was quick to express and opinion based on experiences I had never had, which always led me to scoff. So, while the term dry drunk may not be a clinical term, and my not be defined by anyone other than the person who experiences it. Quite frankly, the term "pink cloud" is probably one of the most offensive terms the AA community has picked up from the treatment industry. You're given a period of God's grace and you boil it down to something called "pink cloud". Indeed.

[353]

Sorry Peter.. Dry drunk is a coloquial AA expression...don't know what I thought I read. My mistake.

Peace

[bostonluv]

BP44 - Good Point.

[Peter]

AA has a thousand cliches, quotes, acronyms and other sayings. Paramount among them has always been; "Take what you want and leave the rest".

"Dry Drunk" , "Earthlings" , "F.E.A.R" are a few of these sayings which no longer work for me so I leave them...

"Pink cloud" I don't think I have ever used....

[ananda]

I work an AA program, but don't really care for the term...but that's not that important. I relate to much of what people talk about when they talk about what dry drunk means to them and how they expereince it. Sometimes words just get in the way of the meaning.

Any time I step away from the WE and into the ME...I flounder and loose purpose in my life.

Thanks all.

[Tazman53]

anada thanks, I like to keep things simple

Sober = "I'

Dry Drunk = "We"

[ananda]

HUH?????

I guess I think the opposite would apply

Sober = WE

Dry Drunk = ME

????????

[Tazman53]

GOOD NIGHT!!!!!!! LOL

Reverse what I said!!!!!!

Sober = WE

Dry Drunk = ME

Thank you ananda!!!! Someone has to keep an eye on me!!!!

I am just sitting here shaking my head!!!!

I will keep coming back!!! LOL

[RufusACanal]

I am sure some have never experienced a dry drunk; I have and the men I have worked with have. These men and I are of that variety of Alcoholic mentioned in “More about Alcoholism” in the Big Book; we are real Alcoholics. Whether you like the term or not will make the symptoms afflicting the dry man or woman attempting to deal with insanity, obsession and unmanageability go away; you can't wish away dry drunk syndrome with political correctness. Instead of viewing the term as a put down, use the energy to help a suffering person who has not found the peace of a recovery program. Just because something has not entered the realm of your experience does not make it wrong or untrue.

[RobbyRobot]

Dry drunk is no f ****** myth. been there. done that.
Robby.

[Tazman53]

I have experienced a bit of the syndrome right here on this board, I go through phases where I have a need to antagonize some folks because I let thier illness live rent free in my head at times. I have some work to do on this, I pray over it and catch myself most of the time before the beast pops up, but he does pop out sometimes.

Spiritual progress, not spiritual perfection, I am a work in progress.

[Peter]

Originally Posted by RufusACanal

Just because something has not entered the realm of your experience does not make it wrong or untrue.

Just because we dont agree with something doesn't mean we have not experienced it or know what it is.