Ever feel guilty about feeling GOOD?

[arieswoman]

Sometimes, when I feel good, I start to think along the lines of, "oh no, what's wrong?!" Maybe because for so long, before I got sober, I felt so miserable, and this just seemed like a natural state.

I woke up feeling really good today, and then noticed I became fearful, thinking, "something must be wrong" or "this just isn't realistic" or "when is the bomb going to drop". Anybody else ever feel this way?

[tommyk]

Yes.

I usually have some minor lingering thought that things are going too good and something bad might happen.

I recognize those thoughts as 'my disease talking' though.

[CarolD]

No....I do not.

Recovery is a fantastic way to live
and I expect that to continue.

Sorry you are feeling troubled.

Blessings

[Sugah]

Is it nuts that I'm in the middle of a pretty serious flare - and I still feel good? I've learned that my mood and emotions need not be dictated by my physical state or the circumstances around me.

I look at feeling good as the result of changing my thoughts, divorcing my ability to feel good from external causes. Although I've had a lot of sadness this week over the death of a good friend, I still feel good - because my thoughts rarely entertain that state of hopelessness I was so accustomed to before.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[lizw]

Yeah. I've heard it being describe as leaving the house then a few minutes later getting this nagging feeling, you can't shake, and it's like you think you've left the iron on or something...

[bballdad]

It may be feelings of guilt,shame and fear lingering around

Some of us felt so shameful because of what we did,what was done to us,and what we was before we got sober, we sometimes feel like we do not deserve sobriety, to be loved,wanted or needed.We sometimes feel like we do not have a good chance at life.Maybe they do,but I don`t.I don`t deserve happiness.Thoughts like these.
I`ve heard a lot of those feelings described by alcoholics,some sober quite a while.I have came to believe it is a almost common thing.Some alcoholics get over it quickly,some it takes further inventories and work and in time they do seem to get better.A few I have talked to went outside of AA to get help.
I call it deep physical,emotional and spiritual sobriety.
We all suffered many different degrees of various damage-
keep coming back and working on the steps(dig deep within),it probably will get better over time

mine did

[Tazman53]

Sugah that described my feelings pretty well lately.

I brought up gratitude as a topic for our Wednesday night meeting. In the share I described myself as being "Silly Happy!" I shared my gratitude that even though things were not going real well in my life that thanks to the program I am able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, that in times past I would have been eat up with fears with what is going on in my life right now, yet thanks to the program what would have been eating me up before I can still remain content knowing that things are in the process of working out and all will be well.

Yes, I am happy even with the problems I am walking through right now.

[arieswoman]

I agree, Sugah and Tazman. I've learned that peace of mind, serenity and joy can even be had in the midst of what outwardly appears to be a crisis or pretty bad circumstances. True joy comes from wihin - sounds like a cliche, but it really is true! Sobriety is awesome!

It's okay to feel GOOD! I'm not crazy or in a state of delusion. It's all about faith and trust and living in the moment.

[RufusACanal]

No, I do not feel guilty for feeling good. God removed that, why would I want it back?

[Sugah]

Beautiful avatar, arieswoman!

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[jimhere]

I don't know if I've felt guilty about feeling good, but I remember the first time I felt at peace with myself and with the world around me, I was suprised. I was about fourteen months sober, into amends, seeking God and helping others as a way of living. One day I was sitting at home on a rainy Saturday afternoon. There was no TV or music playing and I was reading a book. All of the sudden I realized that it was quiet, both within and without and that I didn't want to be anywhere else but where I was at that time and that I had a sense of being connected to everyone and everything. I don't think I had ever experienced that before, except when alcohol had worked for me. You know, they haven't called alcohol spirits for centuries by mistake. And I think I know why C.S. Lewis wrote of being "suprised by joy."

I think that we live in turmoil, despair, and dis-ease, and the quiet desperation that so many live in for so long that when it's not there, we are suprised. Kind of like when you have a toothache for so long that you get used to being miserable and then you have the tooth pulled and it doesn't ache anymore, it seems like something is missing.

One other thing-I've heard in AA meetings that if it feels good it must be God's will. I don't know about that. I've done a lot of stuff that felt really good that I absolutely know wasn't God's will. Then I've had to do some stuff like inventory, 5th Steps, facing someone I had wronged and telling them the truth that haven't felt so good that I absolutely know was God's will. But the result is the kind of inner solitude, peace, and joy I and others here have described.
Jim

[Tiro]

Ever feel guilty about feeling GOOD?

Yes.

Three years sober in AA did not take away my fear and guilt about feeling good.

Even when things were great in my life I would eventually start experiencing fear then guilt then a crushing sadness. I never really understood why but it was these feelings that made me realize that my issues went far deeper than alcohol. It was how I came to start looking at the suppressed memories of a painful childhood, issues of abandonment and ridicule and abuse.

[Tazman53]

if it feels good it must be God's will. I don't know about that. I've done a lot of stuff that felt really good that I absolutely know wasn't God's will

Jim I had to chuckle at that!!! I know exactly where you are coming from there. The overall post was great, that line gave me a chuckle, when I was drinking I lived by the motto "If it feels good... do it!!" A wee bit self centered! LOL