Money possibly missing from donations basket?

[Tryin2Recover]

Hey guys. I chair a meeting in my area and tonight I had something fishy go on. A 5 dollar bill was donated to the basket by the person giving the lead and I threw in 2 before passing the basket around. There was atleast 30 people there and at the end of the lead when I counted it up there was only 8 dollars total. Now this might just have seemed suspicious and nothing more (the fact that out of 30 people only 1 more dollar was donated) but when I counted it there was 8 single dollar bills in there. The 5 was missing, and no other higher bills there. Nobody could have made change with the 5 otherwise there should have been a 10 or 20 in there. I dont know how to handle or address this situation, as I am still new to the program and have only been chairing meetings for a little more than a month. I dont want to sound accusatory and dont know if I can address the group without coming off that way. This meeting is at a club style place and there is a board there, who I might consult with over this issue. I was just wondering if anyone has any experience with issues like this, or any ideas on how to handle this situation. Thanks in advance.

Edit: Also Id like to add that after everyone left the room I did check the floor/area incase some had fallen out and I didnt find anything. And while it is still a possibility that I overlooked it or someone else found it before me, I really doubt it.

[lizw]

You could always raise this point with an older sober member of the group and ask if something needs to be done. The group would need to decide if and when something should be done, rather than one person alone.

Some groups have boxes with just a little opening at the top, so what goes in, stays in.

At a meeting I was at a few years ago, as the basket was past the lady sitting next to me took money out rather than put it in. I could hardly beleive my eyes! Needless to say, she is still not sober and has never got past maybe 6 months, despite being round a long, long time, 15+ years.

[Tazman53]

In my area when the basket is passed it used to be said, "Put in what you can and take out what you need." That stopped after a newcomer took every dime in the basket and never returned. I guess it is possible that someone from that school was there and needed some cash? I am just guessing, talk to some old timers and get thier take on it.

[CarolD]

Well...
Yes...someone did take from the basket...IMO
It happens.

Yes...speak with your sponsor

Read the final paragraph of
"Freedom From Bondage"
and do what it says....

Forward we go..side by side

[RufusACanal]

I took from the basket, your wallet, the cash register and .. well. If I wanted to drink, I took.

If someone needed a drink badly enough I would have given them the whole basket.

[nandm]

What is the saying: "You can sober up a horsethief but if he doesn't change then all you wind up with is a dry horsethief."

My home group meeting had a secretary that I am sure was skimming from the pot. I am not alone in the belief. When that secretary moved and was replaced suddenly our group had several hundred dollars left over every month rather than just getting by which was the claim of the previous secretary.

My thoughts on it are simple. If someone feels they need the money worse than the group and therefore they take it from the basket then I am in no position to judge them as I don't know that I would have done any different if I had continued my downward spiral of drinking. I would obviously hope I would not but realize it is possible. I do think that bringing it up at a group concious might be a good idea as that would allow the home group members to keep an eye out and speak with the person if the opportunity presents itself. Maybe they just need some help. Who knows what their situation is. The money they take may be buying milk for a baby. It also might be buying their next bottle who knows.

Good luck as you are in a tough situation. It is easy for me to sit here and say these things as I am not in your shoes. Until I am there is no way I truly know what I would do or how I would feel.

[lizw]

Just remembered this.

When I first got sober our GSO was still reeling after the manager, and member of our fellowship, pilffered like 25K.

I think he'd opened accounts all over the show in the name of AA NZ and clocked it up big time.

I am unsure how the board who manages GSO found out BUT last I heard he was living in some little hick town, still attending AA meetings and still sober....

I don't think any legal action was taken because it is against the 12 concepts (maybe?)

[Jfanagle]

Just like Taz's meeting we still use the "put it in or take it out" phrase and sometimes they do "take it out." I was a DCM in a district for 2 years and we had numerous treasurers abscond with a whole meeting's complete treasury amount, including the prudent reserve. As the saying goes, "AA is not a bastion of mental health. It seems after every embezzlement the meetings come back stronger.

I am by no means making light of your situation, it just seems that dishonest folks find their way into meetings and the group usually responds in a better manner than even the group thought that they would. When a particular meeting is in trouble financially other better "heeled" meetings step up to help. Sometimes we pass the basket a second time if the rent is due or other necessities are needed and I never cease to be amazed at the good people in AA, and how they greatly outnumber the bad apples!

I will always remember when I first encountered some theft in AA and I brought up my indignation with my sponsor. He told me, "Jon, a thief will steal your wallet, but an alcoholic thief will steal your wallet and then HELP you LOOK for it!"

Best of luck,

Jon

[Peter]

This kind of thing happens in a roomful of alcoholics. Talk to your sponsor about it and tighten the basket.

[fraankie]

i've been around
and
i've seen the holy moley's accuse others of skimming
only to get caught skim themselvesi
t's not my business
i was diligent when i chaired the meeting
i counted the money at the table with the group
placed in an envelope
date, time, meeting, amount, etc
placed in safe place
at less than a year, someone became literature person
we voted to give him $50.00 for literature
and, this was a "poor" group
needless to say, he never came back to the meeting
boy, was i, like,
it's impossible that a sober person did this
but
the others didn't bat an eye
some discussion, it's over
obviously, i was naive
now,
the poor slob at a meeting gets busted cause he needs a buck for the ride home
but
hey, i've seen .99 cents cookies put out for volunteers at the district office on christmas, no less
and
i've seen time, effort and money wasted there, too
so skimming isn't the only way to steal
but, lo and behold, when it came to renovating the current "bill w."' 's office
well, it's breakfast at tiffany's
same with the "very involved with AA" people
notice their conventions are at the nice places
ala free buffet

so,
i'm in n.y.
most groups have a chain on the basket
lol
as the basket goes around
so does a basket watcher
of course, there are plenty, i, for sure plenty of good honest AA's
(until tax time rolls around)
abd
i've seen many
did it myself
drop a twenty in the basket
so i would take the experience as a fluke
move on
and, then, again
if there is skimming at the GSO
well,
what they see there, what they hear there, what they skim th................

[barb dwyer]

As GSR for my former home group - I witnessed the same thing Jfanagle described. From the OFFICERS of the group.

What I had to come to was a decision ...
not whether THEY should be held accountable...
... but if *I* was going to be affiliated with it.

I decided not to be.
I didn't and still don't want my name connected to that kind of stuff.
Ever.

When you don't have anything - youre integrity ... is ALL you have.

I figure - it's what it's doing to *my* recovery that matters, bottom line.

And yes - the betrayal of other 'chosen servants'
really messed with my idealistic head.
I mean.. one 'servant' got enough cash to move to hawaii for crap's sake.

But I don't go to that group any more.


I think this was particularly brilliant and wise of Jfanagle:

...it just seems that dishonest folks find their way into meetings and the group usually responds in a better manner than even the group thought that they would.

I guess what I'm rattling on about is really
it was never, and is probably not GOING to be
our 'job' to judge what others do.
A tough gig to let go of... but it can be done.

But I cling to the right
to choose whether I have to be around it.
A missing buck out of the basket is one thing ...
but officers ... is quite another in my book of life.

Dishonesty happens. Everywhere.
It's what it does to US ... that's the deal, I think...

[ananda]

I make it a point to NOT watch the basket go around. I'm likely to notice who contributes and who doesn't or see what someone took out and not what they put in....I can really make some wrong assumptions...and even the right ones don't help me to live a better life.

I go through wierd stuff like thinking I will put my donation directly in the lock box so that no one knows what I give since it's none of thier business...but anytime I get that uptight...usually a sign I'm getting arragant! So nipped that one in the bud this time!

[tiburon88]

Originally Posted by Tazman53

In my area when the basket is passed it used to be said, "Put in what you can and take out what you need." That stopped after a newcomer took every dime in the basket and never returned. I guess it is possible that someone from that school was there and needed some cash? I am just guessing, talk to some old timers and get thier take on it.

I never heard of this "take out what you need." I think the basket would be empty at many meetings I go to.

tib

[Tazman53]

tib I have only heard it said one time since I have been in the rooms, the lady who told me about it had over 30 years in the rooms so who knows how long ago they stopped saying that.