When will the promises come true?

[nandm]

How often have we heard the Promises read at a meeting? When they are read almost everyone in the room, from the newcomer to the oldtimer, nod their heads as if they have experienced the promises but I often have wondered how many people have actually found them in their lives.

The following is just my opinion and experience but I wanted to share and get some feedback of others experiences.

The famous A.A. promises are brought about by the application of spiritual principles in our lives. They are not the result of merely quitting drinking and attending A.A. meetings. A spiritual awakening results in a change in the way we act and perceive the world around us. This new way of life addresses the problems of the past and prevents new problems from arising. We have a new way of dealing even with the seeming hardships and tragedies that are a part of life.

I have broken down the Promises to better express my thoughts on them.

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before half through.

When we start applying the Steps to every aspect of our lives, we learn the theory and techniques that make up our new way of life. By practicing repeatedly the application of these spiritual principles in every area of our lives, we build spiritual experience. Our experience enables us to rely upon God.

We are going to know a new freedom and happiness.

We begin to experience freedom from the hundreds of forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity that are the root cause of our failed outlook, attitudes, emotions, and actions.

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.

Our regrets are addressed in Steps Four through Nine. In the Steps Four and Five we reinterpret our past. In Steps Six and Seven we position ourselves for the removal of those character defects that have caused our problems. In Steps Eight and Nine we repair the damage we have done. These Steps transform our painful past into a useful spiritual tool.

We will comprehend the word serenity and know peace.

The peace and serenity we experience comes as the result of conforming our will to that of God's.

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

Our past becomes an asset that we can use to help other people. Our past helps new people identify with us and shows them that new lives are also possible for them.

That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

Adopting this new way of life gives us a new direction and purpose for living.

We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.

As we are restored to sanity, we see the rewards of selflessness greatly exceed the illusory benefits of self-seeking.

Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change.

Our attitude towards life and our view of the world based on self-centered fear are changed as a result of practicing these spiritual principles. We live our way into a new way of thinking.

Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.

When we focus on what we can give rather than what we can take, we lose our fear that we will not get what we want. We are no longer afraid that our own resources are all that we have to draw upon. We find that conscious contact with God is all we really need to be happy in life.

We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.

We practice the application of spiritual principles as a way of addressing our problems and find the guidance of God is available to us when we seek it.

We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

The truth is that if we could have stopped drinking, addressed our defects of character, and righted our past wrongs on our own power we would have done so long ago. By seeking in earnest, we have accessed a Power greater than ourselves. All we need to do for proof is to examine the results.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us---sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

The key is that we must work to build sufficient spiritual experience so that we may draw upon it when we are challenged or tempted. These profound changes in our lives come about as the result of the repeated application of spiritual principles in all areas of our lives. It works for everyone who honestly tries.

[miss communicat]

Thanks Judith,

GREAT commentary!

[RufusACanal]

"This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past."

First edition, BB of AA

[sugErspun]

When I first began making ammends - I took a look at the promises.

Are these things happening in my life?

For me - they are a checklist, if something is not coming true - there is either a resentment I am holding on to, or an ammend that I am balking on (self will).

Painstaking about 'this' phase - refers to setting out and making ammends. When the books balance, the promises are true.

Another gauge would be to go over the bedevilments. Are they still happening in your life?

- Am I having trouble with personal relationships?
- Can I control my emotional nature?
- Do I feel prey to misery and depression?
- Can I make a living?
- Do I have feelings of uselessness?
- Am I full of fear?
- Am I unhappy?
- Do I feel that I can be of REAL help to other people?

The implied 'promise' that these things can be removed from my life are more important to me than the promises. Hence - the steps are more about getting rid of, than they are about gaining.

[miss communicat]

Originally Posted by sugErspun

Another gauge would be to go over the bedevilments. Are they still happening in your life?

- Am I having trouble with personal relationships?
- Can I control my emotional nature?
- Do I feel prey to misery and depression?
- Can I make a living?
- Do I have feelings of uselessness?
- Am I full of fear?
- Am I unhappy?
- Do I feel that I can be of REAL help to other people?
.

A;

I like this list, "the bedevilments". I never saw it or heard of it before. Is it in the BB? If so, can you tell me where so I can read it in context? If its not a BB thing, I still really like it. Just curious where you got it. I found it useful.

Thanks!
C

[sugErspun]

It's in the BB.

Chapter to the agnostic - pg 52 second paragraph. I did break them from the form they are written in that paragraph - but the context is the same.

[lizw]

As another poster has indicated, the promises follow step nine in the BB. When the book says '...if we are painstaking about this phase of our development we will be amazed before we are half way though...'
The phase of our development it is making ref to is making amends.
This is one of my personal irks since the promises get shopped around a lot in meetings, but they are not used in the context the book uses them. It's a bit like false advertising.

Sure, you will be amazed before you are half way through, but that means, half way through your amends list. Not half way through your first year/2nd/3rd or 4th year when you haven't worked the steps...

[TTOSBT]

Thank you so much. I needed this today!!

[BP44]

The 9th step promises are amazing, but let me step outside the topic box. The first promise we see is on the title page in the very first sentence of the foreward. We have recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body. That promise really doesn't take long to come true. There are promises all over the Big Book. The 5th step promises are some of the most amazing promises in the whole book!!! Stuff like, we can look the world in the eye, we begin to have a spiritual experience, our fears fall from us, we feel the nearness of our creator, we know God better. 10th step promises, we have entered the world of the spirit, cease fighting, placed in a position of neutrality, developed a sixth sense, grow in understanding and effectiveness, love and tolerance is our code. This is powerful stuff.

[CarolD]

The Promises?


Thanks everyone who has shared
Especiallly Judith for starting this excellent thread.

[AW2486]

Glad you brought that up Liz that they are the 9th step promises. The first time someone else pointed that out to me it put them in a different perspective. It says to us what will happen when we start getting free of our past.

[lizw]

Originally Posted by AW2486

It says to us what will happen when we start getting free of our past.

Couldn't have put it better myself!

[Mala09]

Yes, LizW, thanks for that. We talked about making amends in a Step meeting the other evening and the chair read the passages on making amends (Steps 8 & 9) followed by the Promises and I had never realised that the two are linked.

Very interesting because I am still making amends (working to restore damaged relationships is so much more than just saying sorry) and it has been the most painful but surprising and rewarding process of my adult life.

Thanks

Mala

[GrouchoTheCat]

Nandm, Thank you so much for this great topic!

I am just curious, is the following yours or did you find it somewhere? I really love the way it is put, so very true.

"The famous A.A. promises are brought about by the application of spiritual principles in our lives. They are not the result of merely quitting drinking and attending A.A. meetings. A spiritual awakening results in a change in the way we act and perceive the world around us. This new way of life addresses the problems of the past and prevents new problems from arising. We have a new way of dealing even with the seeming hardships and tragedies that are a part of life."


Da Grouch

[jimhere]

I thought the promises came true when after going to AA meetings, Glenda The Good Witch came down and tapped me with her magic AA wand and the miracle of AA rubbed off on me after I "got" the promises in my life because I got a great job and wasn't financially insecure anymore and skipped off through the flowers to wonderful MOTR AA land.

Ah! The rewards of putting the plug in the jug and going to meetings and not drinking no matter what.

AA meeting liturgy:

Reader of "The 12 Promises":

"Are these extrangavant promises?"

Everyone chant in unison:

"We think not!"

[lizw]

You know Jim, the wand you reffered to is actually the serenity prayer banner rolled up...I've heard that from time to time GSO gives quite a good discount on them....

[Tommyh]

Are these extravagant promises? We think not.


I guess i`m just a rebel,but I really disagree with this one...I think they are very extravagant,considering where I came from,even said so in a meeting once or twice,the people looked at me,the chair called me a troublemaker and threatened to have me sit in a corner....

If you want to have a little fun at the next meeting,when they say I think not,just let out a really big I think so or probably!

[Tazman53]

The promises...... the BB is full of them, and they do come true as we work the steps and apply them to all aspects of our daily life on a daily basis.

[jimhere]

Originally Posted by bballdad

Are these extravagant promises? We think not.


I guess i`m just a rebel,but I really disagree with this one...I think they are very extravagant,considering where I came from,even said so in a meeting once or twice,the people looked at me,the chair called me a troublemaker and threatened to have me sit in a corner....

If you want to have a little fun at the next meeting,when they say I think not,just let out a really big I think so or probably!

They are extravagant when they are made to be the goal rather than a by- product of taking spiritual action in amends.

That is the main problem I have with "The Promises." The fellowship has turned them into a selfish thing and dangled them in front of us like carrots, as if they are something to be achieved or to be gotten like a prize.
Jim

[Tazman53]

Jim a group conscience could get them dropped from the readings.

[tommyk]

For me, the promises began coming true after I began keeping the promises I made toward my recovery.

[Tommyh]

the promises are a very small reflection of God`s love for this drunk

[jimhere]

Originally Posted by Tazman53

Jim a group conscience could get them dropped from the readings.

Taz,
These groups or meetings are not my home group, so I don't have any voice in those group's conscience.

We don't read them at my home group, so I guess I'll have to be OK with that.

Besides, there is such a sacred cow mentality around most of our meeting rituals that to even bringing it up would cause most minds to snap shut in horror. I just point that out when I get the chance. That and what I said about the use of the 9th Step promises as carrots. The usual result is eyes rolling and much frowning.
Jim

[Tazman53]

there is such a sacred cow mentality around most of our meeting rituals that to even bringing it up would cause most minds to snap shut in horror.

Man do I know what you are saying. There is a speakers meeting I have been going to for quite a while, well the attendance of the meeting was going down..... way down, they had the same small core group doing the same thing, the same way it had worked for years and things were getting stale! Well they put new people into the positions to get speakers (I am now responsible for the 4th Friday every month).

What this accomplished was it broke the cycle of the same speakers speaking all the time, it brought new speakers from other meetings and as a result more people.

One thing they also changed which suprisingly really increased attendance was they started giving out chips again after 10 years of not handing them out.

From this experience it has shown that a group that refuses to change is not much different then a single alcoholic who refuses to change, they get sick first.... they start to die..... and will die if they do not change.