One Year to work One Step

[RufusACanal]

Today while reading a thread, I came upon a comment that had me scratching my head. A newcomer shared that her sponsor wants her to wait a year before working this life freeing step. The sponsor was taught to work one step a year and so like many of us do, she instructs her poeple to do the same.

I do not believe I would be sober today if I had followed this instruction; the entire premise seems insane to me, waiting to be more clear takes a year per Step? In 31 years of AA, this is a first for me and I thought I had been just about everywhere and obviously I hadn't. What are your thoughts? Is there no cause for concern, is it a fluke or is it a real problem and are members potentially dying because of this instruction?



Ron

[TTOSBT]

Huh?

IMO, that is truly crazy.
I would drink! What is the point of not if you have to wait 12 years for the complete freedom that comes with working the steps?
I have to ask...so this sponsor is doing what their sponsor taught them? So it took this person 12 years to work the steps??

[CarolD]

This might be a misunderstanding by the newly sober person.


In my experience and observations
the quicker the better for Step work.

[sugErspun]

The groups I am part of do the steps continually. Most go through all twelve formally at least once per year.

Then again - we use the book as our 'BS sifter'.

Nowhere up to page 62 does it say to take time off and wait until some other person decides that you are ready to take this step.

How does one know that they have completed the 3rd step?

Kind of a trick question....

[RufusACanal]

I was thrown for a few moments after reading the thread. One year before doing a Fourth Step? Crazy.

[dgillz]

Nuts. If anything they are too slow to work the steps. In the old days it was common to begin to make amends (even though the 9th step hadn't been written at the time) before you even got to your first meeting.

Dr. Bob was one of these, he did amends on the same day of his last drink.

[Signal30]

I did the steps at the exact pace I needed to do them. I had to revert back a few times, but it was through asking my sponsor questions, going to BB, and 12&12 meetings, and listening to fellow members comments on the steps that made me understand how to follow them. However long it takes, is simply well... however long it needs to take.

Tom

[lizw]

Originally Posted by RufusACanal

The sponsor was taught to work one step a year and so like many of us do, she instructs her poeple to do the same.

That is just crazy.

[Time2Surrender]

Originally Posted by RufusACanal

I was thrown for a few moments after reading the thread. One year before doing a Fourth Step? Crazy.

Been there done that. I wouldnt wanna try it again. I sat on step 3 for over 2 years. The end result was going back out. I came back and my sponsor started me on 4. And not thats the route to go for others. The steps were written in order for a reason. But, in my case with the resentments I came back with it was a good call I think. And at 23 days Im actually finishing step 4 today. Kind of ironic too cause Im about to post about finishing my 4th step in another thread.

[ananda]

Where I live now they do the steps much more quickly than they did where I lived before. Although it wasn't a year a step, it was not uncommon for someone to not do a 4th step till 1 and 1/2 to 2 years sober. Where I live now I think it is unusual for someone to not complete the 12 steps in the first year or close to that.

I've been sponsored by people who have done it a variety of ways. I simply share with my sponsee my experience on how I have done it, encourage her to look at how others do, and figure that it is the sponsee's recovery, and they have the final say on how fast or slow to work the steps.

I'm pretty big on flexability and on me, as a supporter of others in AA be openminded and willing to see how different things work for different people, yet to be sure I share what has and hasn't worked for me.

[353]

Ron,

I have no idea. I've seen people come in, talk before, during and after the meeting about how they're working the 8th and 9th step having been in the program a month. Then they drop off the scene only to come back a couple of months later trying to figure out why the steps didn't work.

I'm more of the opinion it's not a "timed" event. I do believe one step a year would not have worked for me though. I like the train of thought that it's more about living the steps than working the steps. Am I practicing the principles in all of my affairs?

Peace

[sobergirl77]

My first sponsor wanted me to wait a few months before I did any step work, just to "dry out" and such. Needless to say I didn't stay "dry" for long.

[Dean62]

I called a guy who I met at a meeting I was going to every week when I first stopped drinking. I was going to ask him if he would be my sponsor but before I did he told me he doesn't start on the steps until his sponsee has 3 months of sobriety. I don't know if that is a good idea or not but that's why I didn't ask him to be my sponsor.

We do just fine as friends.

[bballdad]

Ron,thats one sponsor who needs dumped-fast!

6 months sober I was on 10-12 and making amends.If I sponsor a guy,I like to see the same if possible.I could not have lasted 1 year without a drink

[Rob B]

The steps are meant to be done rapidly, continuously, and forever. A step a year will kill people. I would submit that anyone who could do a step a year is either not alcoholic or has an emotional pain threshhold that I can't even begin to comprehend.

To answer Adams question: when you start writing your 4th.

[Jfanagle]

I took the steps at the same pace I drank. If I had been a one drink per year man, I would not be on this site, or in AA.

Obviously we all have a slightly different take on the "timing" of the step implementation; however I believe that when the steps have been taken initially, the continual use of steps 10, 11 and 12 is mandatory for growth in sobriety.

Interesting take on timing. I have heard an arbitrary 3 month spacer between steps. When all else fails I revert back to the first 164 pages and if my reading comprehension is still at or above the class average as Mrs. Smith my 8TH grade teacher said, then timing is not specifically delineated. That being said, there are many references to "we immediately moved on to step...." GUESS IT DEPENDS ON ONE MAN'S "IMMEDIATELY" vs. ANOTHER'S.

Jon

[Signal30]

That's what can be confusing sometimes. Like Rob said the steps are meant to do continuously. I've heard others say that you do your first Twelve Steps, and Step 10, 11, and 12 are the maintenance steps that you continue to do till the end of your days.

To me that means that in Step 10 you continue to take moral inventories (Step 4), then meet with your sponsor about them when you need to (Step 5) as well as promptly admit your wrongs hence doing Step 8 and 9 when needed. Step 4, 5, 8 and 9 being the "action" steps.

So...(and here's where I'm attempting to throw a monkey wrench in this).


Do you continuously do all 12 Steps or continue or practice the last three maintenance steps, by continuously doing Step 4, 5, 8, 9, (well I guess 11, and 12..or wait, do those steps go in a separate category???)


How's that for NOT keeping it simple?!? lol



Tom

[Jfanagle]

In my case, and just mine, I use 10,11,and 12 as continual maintenance steps. I have a sponsor who is rather insistant that I refer to my annual (4TH) step as my 10TH and that is OK with me. Tide or Wisk, as long as they do a good job of cleaning up, I don't put too much stock in a name.

Just my way, whatever works for someone else, works.

Jon

[Sugah]

Perhaps it's Language of the Heart - I'm not sure - but there is a letter from Bill W. that talks about the steps taking effect in one's life at the rate of about one a year. He wasn't talking about only taking a step a year - he was talking about how they become ingrained in one's daily life and in all of one's affairs. I've heard it twisted and bastardized, and usually, I'm not quick enough to call it BS. Someone invariably beats me to it.

The steps, all of them, mean more to me today than they did when I first took them. And, following Bill's observation, it's no wonder to me that I've been focused on steps five and six a lot lately.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[tommyk]

One step per year?

Not a good plan in my opinion.

[Sugah]

I didn't consider my attendance at meetings and greetings to the newcomer all that valuable as service a la the 12th step until I was about eight months sober - and caught hell from my sponsor one night when I called whining about a meeting I didn't think "did me any good." Because I was dragging my feet, we didn't "take" the twelfth step until around that time. She said, "Don't you think it's time that you stop concerning yourself with what you'll get out of a meeting and start focusing on what you can bring to it???"

I got the message. Eight months, 12 steps - and she called me a slow poke. With practice, I think I've gotten even better at them.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

[AW2486]

I read somewhere that Dr. Bob would take people through that steps in an afternoon at his house.

I have friendship type of sponsorship. Stumbled through the steps at my own pace. Being faced with either drinking or suicide in my 5th year of sobriety I finally did the 5th step. A lot of FEAR and no Courage. Glad I somehow stayed sober til then.

[miss communicat]

This is the reason (one reason at least) that I stopped attending a certain meeting here in my area. Its a step meeting, and they strongly "encourage" (translate: don't allow any other way) their members to take only 1 step per year.

When it comes round to Step 4, they spend 16 weeks on it. Oy!

Talk about a group of not well people not getting better.....

[BP44]

I have heard this approach shared before, but very rarely. And I cannot reconcile it with my experience or the Big Book. My books suggests, no, it implores me to seek recovery with the desperation of a drowning man, and we will hear...take your time. Nonsense!!!! I sit down with my guys like my sponsor did me, and we start at the title page and we MOVE from there. We meet weekly. We do everything that it asks us to do in order. I also incorporate the 12 & 12 before going to the next step in the Big Book. For instance, if we finish More About Alcoholism this week, at next week's meeting we will read the 1st step in the 12 & 12. By the way, my 3rd step decision begins to be realized when I put pen to paper in inventory, but my experience is that it is never completed. The strict spiritual disciplines of 10 and 11 keep my 3rd step decision alive and a realized decision. I do not experience 10,11,and 12 as "maintenance steps". They are growth steps. I am not living off of an old experience. I am seeking a new experience, more concious contact, continuing to WAKE UP!!!!!

[jimhere]

I heard Joe H. talk about this one time, so I can't take the credit for it, but these are my exact sentiments on this kind of B.S. that kills alkies in AA.

What if Bill had done a step a year? Bob would have been screwed (and so would we). I can just hear Bill saying "I'll be out there to Akron in about eleven and a half years Bob. I'd like to help you, but you'll have to wait until I get to Step 12."

Where do people get this stuff? No wonder I get disgusted with contemporary AA and have to "leave" once in a while to write inventory. Ol' frescacan was right on-MOTR indeed!
Jim