Well I finally did it...

[Signal30]

I finally started taking the medicine that my doctor prescribed me for anxiety and panic attacks. For many years I have been stubborn and not taken the medication that the doctor has prescribed me.

Yesterday, I had one of the worst panic attacks I have had in many, many years. Just a week prior I told my doctor about my recent bouts of anxiety and she (my usual doctor was on vacation), prescribed me medication.

She is a great doctor. I was honest, and told her that I was bad about taking medication and my phobias (fearing side effects), to why I hesitate to take them. She called me on my sh*t and told me what I needed to hear. She prescribed me a medication (Citalopram) that has low side effects (the ones I fear).

I took my first pill today and feel no effects (that's a good thing). Here's yet another example of the typical alcoholic thinking. Disregarding doctors advice because I think I know better than them. Talk about self-will run riot.

Perhaps this recent panic attack was Gods hand pushing me to better myself and take medication to help me. I don't think God would purposely cause me harm to tell me something, (I'm still here with a heartbeat), I think God just gave me a reminder that my will has failed over, and over, and over, etc....

Wow, I am such an alcoholic...lol.


Tom

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

I'm glad that you got the help that you needed Tom!

((((Tom))))

[Signal30]

In the recent weeks I have had more anxiety/panic attacks then I have in a very long time, (long time meaning since I was a teenager). AA has reduced them to almost nil until recently. I needed to go that extra mile and the BB says to listen to doctors.

I am tired of being a slave to my shortcomings. I need to go full force into the program, and get the hell out of my own head. Thy will, not mine. One of the keys to a sound mind is to rigorously dive into proactive action in AA, (as well as take my medicine.)

Like staying sober, I need to handle this anxiety disorder on a day by day basis.


Tom

[Astro]

I was taking a med for anxiety and depression in my first year of sobriety. My sponsor told me he didn't think it was right, that being clean and sober meant going cold turkey on everything.

Thankfully I was able to think clearly enough that I should be able to take the med, as long as I took it as prescribed. After I settled in and became comfortable with taking it, the anxiety and depression decreased. After one year I tapered off quickly with no side effects. Life has rolled on peacefully since then, and I didn't feel it was necessary to change my sobriety date whatsoever.

[serenityqueen]

I couldn't help but chuckle when I read your post, Tom. No, not because of your panic attacks, but I do the same thing, I think I know better than my doctor.

When I was using, I never took one medicine on a daily basis, except the 80 or so Vicodin ES I needed to feel normal. But when I got into Recovery, wow, the Rx's just started adding up. . . and I hated it. I don't know if the fact that I hate taking meds is due to my DOC was in pill form or exactly what it is. But I know that I gag at times when trying to swallow any of my 13 different Rx's I have to take a day for my medical conditions. I hear a lot of people talk at Meetings, saying that their health got worse when they got clean. Nonsense! We just didn't care when we were out there drinking and getting high. . . and I also think most of the symptoms weren't felt due to these same reasons.

When my Dr. began writing my Rx's, I really balked. Most of these meds are the same one's my Mom, who is 69 years old and in poor health, takes. I kept telling my Dr. that I didn't need these meds, I wasn't nearly as bad off physically as my Mom. I just didn't want to face the fact that I had RA & Lupus, and now CHF. It's like admitting that I'm getting old.

I also think a big reason I fought taking any meds is because once I got Clean & Sober, I felt wonderful! I saw that I didn't need pills to get through the day, only to be told that I do. I had finally accepted the fact that I am powerless over drugs and alcohol, and now, here I am, powerless again, in a different way, to the fact that I have to take them.

I am glad that you are practicing acceptance in yet another area of your life. Hopefully, the side effects that you fear won't even surface with you. Remember, not everyone has side effects.

I also wanted to tell you that I truly admire you. You work a solid Program and that is clear in every one of your posts. You are a shining example of what working a good Program of Alcoholics Anonymous can do for a person.

God Bless,
Judy

[Signal30]

I work the program to the best of my ability, most of the time. This prescription isn't a narcotic. She was careful to prescribe me something because she knows I'm an alcoholic, (a good trait for a doctor to have.)

As I said before, I don't think I'll have a problem with any side effects, I have felt ok on day one. I might as well give you some details on my little hangup...


I have an extreme phobia of vomiting, (emetophobia), this phobia has affected me since I was about 13. It affects my eating habits, (I feel I have to eat safe food), travel, and other things that most of us have to do in our lives. I get panic attacks for others reasons also, but the emetophobia can trigger them instantly. I fear planes not because of crashing, but because I fear I may get airsick. I fear boats for the same (silly) reason.

When it's really bad it can affect my eating habits. I think I can't puke if there is nothing in my stomach.

There are some sites on the phobia. It's not my only issue, but it's a major one.

It tells you how powerful alcoholism is. Even though I fear vomiting (a 3 page fear inventory) , the disease of alcoholism was powerful enough to supersede an older disorder.

Well that's a fear I like to hide I just admitted to you all. I am one nutty SOB.


Tom

[NOMOMERLOTMAMMA]

You aren't nutty Tom. You are just like all of us.

I have a bit of OCD. I like to cut fingernails, toenails. It actually calms me. Thank God I have so many animals!

Oh, and if I get a sunburn...nothing like a good peeling.

I'll join you in your so called nuttiness!

[bballdad]

Tom,I believe you just gave your ego a big kick in the butt!
hope for the best for you

[lizw]

I laughed too. Me and a lady I sponsor both have serious health problems and we also discuss how many years of medical training we have between us too....which of course is the grand total of zero. But try telling my head that!