Rigidity

[bballdad]

I`m Tommy and I am a alcoholic
I like Bob`s address to the G S O in 1986.He makes sense to me.A friend sent this to me recently.I had read it yrs ago. I have been thinking of it and my past experiences with rigidity.Whether you agree or disagree with Bob,we all have some experience with rigidity and it`s consequences.We also have experience with flexibility and it`s gifts,experiences and blessings.
share your experiences...like a big oak tree,we bend but we do not break



1986 GENERAL SERVICE CONFERENCE CLOSING TALK
by Bob P.

At the closing brunch on Saturday morning, Bob P. (G.S.O. senior adviser), who is retiring early next year, gave a powerful and inspiring closing talk (excerpted below) to the 36th Conference.


Bob P. has since passed away.


Our greatest danger: rigidity


This is my 18th General Service Conference - the first two as a director of the Grapevine and A.A.W.S., followed by four as a general service trustee. In 1972, I rotated out completely, only to be called back two years later as general manager of G.S.O., the service job I held until late 1984. Since the 1985 International Convention, of course, I have been senior adviser. This is also my last Conference, so this is an emotionally charged experience.

I wish I had time to express my thanks to everyone to whom I am indebted for my sobriety and for the joyous life with which I have been blessed for the past nearly 25 years. But since this is obviously impossible, I will fall back on the Arab saying that Bill quoted in his last message, "I thank you for your lives." For without your lives, I most certainly would have no life at all, much less the incredibly rich life I have enjoyed.

Let me offer my thoughts about A.A.'s future. I have no truck with those bleeding deacons who decry every change and view the state of the Fellowship with pessimism and alarm. On the contrary, from my nearly quarter-century's perspective, I see A.A. as larger, healthier, more dynamic, faster growing, more global, more service-minded, more back-to-basics, and more spiritual - by far - than when I came through the doors of my first meeting in Greenwich, Connecticut, just one year after the famous Long Beach Convention. A.A. has flourished beyond the wildest dreams of founding members, though perhaps not of Bill himself, for he was truly visionary.

I echo those who feel that if this Fellowship ever falters or fails, it will not be because of any outside cause. No, it will not be because of
treatment centers or
professionals in the field, or
non- Conference-approved literature, or
young people, or
the dually-addicted, or even
the "druggies" trying to come to our closed meetings.
If we stick close to our Traditions, Concepts, and Warranties, and if we keep an open mind and an open heart, we can deal with these and any other problems that we have or ever will have. If we ever falter and fail, it will be simply because of us. It will be because we can't control our own egos or get along well enough with each other. It will be because we have too much fear and rigidity and not enough trust and common sense.

If you were to ask me what is the greatest danger facing A.A. today, I would have to answer: the growing rigidity
the increasing demand for absolute answers to nit-picking questions;
pressure for G.S.O. to "enforce" our Traditions;
screening alcoholics at closed meetings;
prohibiting non- Conference-approved literature, i.e., "banning books";
laying more and more rules on groups and members.
And in this trend toward rigidity, we are drifting farther and farther away from our co- founders. Bill, in particular, must be spinning in his grave, for he was perhaps the most permissive person I ever met.

Bob P. (senior adviser)

[Jfanagle]

I am Jon and I too am an alcoholic; I agree 100%. The key for me in Bob P's statement is, "the growing rigidity
the increasing demand for absolute answers to nit-picking questions;"

It often seems that "old timers" are increasingly absolute about detail that isn't really the basis of our fellowship, and likewise the "new comers" who seem to search for like details that prove they can't get sober with "AA." I believe that these two groups adopt their stands based on fear and an intense desire to be right. My sponsor introduced me to that old addage, "would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?"

I have to chuckle when I read some of the posts on this site that search for these details in order to prove a point that really is only holding the author back from this great gift called sobriety. Both sides seem to get so rigid that they are hurting themselves and denying them the great gift of a life lived "happy, joyful, and free."

AA has basics and these basics are not unlike our body's skeleton. When we each add the skin and muscle and such we are all a little different in size and shape, but when you "boil" us down to the bones they are all the same. Like the human body when the superficial is gone the bones seem to be what really remains!

Jon

[laurie6781]

I'm Laurie and I am an alcoholic. I guess I was really blessed. When I got my sponsor Beverly D who was already considered and 'old timer' I also got her her hubby Hugh D.

Were they rigid, yep, about the steps, and about the first 164 pages of the Big Book. They both worded with alkies, many of them, even back in '81 that were dually addicted. Oh yes, I saw the 'rigidity' spoken of by Bob P at many of the meetings I attended, however I chose to follow my sponsor's example.

I am still a BB person to this day, however, the fellowship is NOT The Program of AA, thus when someone walks through the doors of a meeting and needs help my hand is there, because sure as shootin if they have a problem with drugs, they have a problem with alcohol also (even though they may not know it yet, lol).

Yes I can be rigid about the working of the steps, and Living the steps, but over the years I have also learned Compassion, Tolerance, and Patience. That is part of what recovery is all about for this alkie. Growing and changing into a person that I like. For those that I hear in meetings today that are still so rigid, and pound the table and/or BB, seem angry all the time, I sure am glad I don't have their misery.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

[ananda]

I simply love the openmindedness and the flexability of the heart of AA.

Thanks.

[Tazman53]

Rigidity can and does kill, I concur with what Laurie has said.

[Music]

Am I rigid? You bet! I'm rigid about the first 164 pages of the Big Book and how it applies to me and my resolve to stay sober. That's it! What others do with it is up to them. The way others work their program and view the Big Book is none of my business.

As stated in the Preamble. We're a fellowship of men and women who just happen to have a program containing 12 steps. The "fellowship" is fluid and ever changing but the 12 steps are stationary and rigid. The 12 principles are what they are and have been from the beginning. If I want to stay sober, I have to apply the principles to my daily life. That's not a suggestion.