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A One and a Two and a Three..

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Old 07-03-2008, 10:48 AM
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A One and a Two and a Three..

As a full time member of the debating society, I have over the years wrestled with topics like why the earth is round and not square, the difference between human, dog and cat years and why Alcoholics do not recover.

I started with the example of my own life; I never willingly wanted to let go of beverage Alcohol, period. This might come as a shock to some of you, but I was in love with booze. A drink was a ticket to another wonderful adventure, no matter how brief and the possibilities in my mind were endless. I could be anything I wanted to be and if by chance life did not fit exactly as I desired, I could always take another drink and move on to other more important activities.

When I was introduced to AA, I was rather young and the only reason you wanted me to stop drinking was so I would conform with your ideas of daily living; that boring, responsibility filled existence you can normalcy. Being the great manipulator that I was, I weaseled, cheated, lied, manuvered and otherwise did anything to get you to leave me alone. I would stay sober for a scant period, only to return to the bar for another round of fun.


The first three Steps of this thing called AA are miraclous to me. Why is that? Well, it is easy in this regard, I never have to be concerned with the drink question again. When it comes to booze, I no longer have to exercise One Day at a Time, becuase God has removed the desire and replaced that hole with love for his purposes and his power; I am no longer alone. to me, there is no other way to live now; I can't do it, He can , so why don't I let Him. Concerning booze I have been unchained, now there is time to work on the other areas of my life.

We admitted powerlessness and unmanageablility.

Came to believe something greater could restore sanity.

Made a decision to turn everything over to God.

These are the directions, so why do so many fall? Failure comes from never believing, refusing to follow on into the unknown. Do you honesty admit your lack of power and the results of your missmangement? Are you full of booze? Do you believe in something greater than you, something greater than can restore the sane thinking, the clean spirit, the full person back to a new life? Be willing to turn all affairs over to something greater than yourself.


A One and a Two and a Three...

When will the newcomer and the retread decide that their excuses are no longer fresh, no longer new and improved. When will they decide that they are not unique or different? Only when, they decide they are full of booze and that they can have the embracing arms of a Being who will never leave them and never forsake them.
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Old 07-03-2008, 04:13 PM
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Congratulations on the year BB12
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Old 07-03-2008, 04:31 PM
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Originally Posted by RufusACanal View Post
This might come as a shock to some of you, but I was in love with booze. A drink was a ticket to another wonderful adventure, no matter how brief and the possibilities in my mind were endless.
If that doesn't describe me back in my drinking days, I don't know what does!

Booze made me funnier, prettier, more confident, sexier, yada yada yada.

At least, that's what I thought in my sick alcoholic mind.

The reality of the matter was I had no self-esteem, and I was full of anger, resentments, and fear.

The days in between the drinking were restless, irritable, and discontented.

I couldn't stand myself, and I couldn't stand my life.

Thank God I don't have to live that way anymore
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Old 07-03-2008, 04:41 PM
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I relied on alcohol, that reliance came over time - I did not have 'faith' in liqour that it would work so well in my life when I first started drinking - but time and again it worked for me. I took a chance - got some results - came to rely on it. It stopped working. I was lost, confused- in a downward spiral.

I was offered a solution - I didn't know it would work so well in my life - but I was hopeless, so I took a chance. I got some results, I have come to rely on it - this solution 'grows' and is alive within me. Alcohol was stagnant and limited. This 'power' I have come to know is limitless and free...

I don't know if I was full of booze or not. I don't know if I was even desperate. I do know I was sick of drinking when I didn't want to and not being able to stop. I had exhausted all my plans to do it on my own - that only came after multiple failures of varying complexity. Someone gave me a phone number - I called it and haven't had a drink since.
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Old 07-04-2008, 01:50 AM
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It took me four years in AA to learn the meaning of this word.

Surrender....
I was beaten into defeat by the time I reached AA and I think there is a diff.
I think maybe the difference is probably a job, a family and some inkling of I life...
I had a guy I'd met at a treatment centre, a bag of clothes, a short lived career in the sex industry and an accomodation problem.

Drinking seriously seemed like the LEAST of my problems.
:bounce
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