Advice - Temporary Sponsor

[1day]

Hello everyone

I have recently been asked by a counselor at a local treatment facility (12 step based) to be a "temporary sponsor" for the young men who are released from there after 28 days of treatment.

I have a good foundation of sobriety, but have never been a sponsor....but i am a sponsee. My sponsor would normally offer guidance, but is unavailable (holidays) for the next while.

I meet a guy tomorrow who being released 1 hour prior to our meeting...anyone have any advice?

Thanks in advance,
Greg

[AW2486]

A sponsor responsibility is to take the newcomer through the steps. I do that using the Big Book.

Not sure about temporary sponsor.. Perhaps just a person to answer questions and have contact with the newcomer until he/she finds a permanent sponsor to walk them through the steps.

Either way .. great opportunity to carry the message that we are freely given.

Have Fun !

[ananda]

pick up a pamflet on sponosrship at a meeting, or if they don't have it go on line and print it out.

I would give that pamflet to the newcomer and discuss it with them. It should answer the questions of what a sponsor is.

I asked someone to be a temporary sponsor once. For me it was someone to help me through the intitial period of sobriety and intro to the groups. And for me...important to help me decide how to select a sponsor and get me through that process.

[tommyk]

"A sponsor responsibility is to take the newcomer through the steps."

Yup.

Get them started on the steps.

And maybe ask them to call you every day so they get used to picking up the phone.

[CarolD]

Please look on the free literature rack in your meeting for

"Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"

I sit down with my new sponsee
and we read it together.

However I've never been a temp sponsor

Good to see you are willing Greg...

[RufusACanal]

Willingness is the key... great work!

[navysteve]

"A sponsor responsibility is to take the newcomer through the steps."

That is all that you need, a big book and a willing man

[lizw]

Usually for people who (like in your case) are being released from treatment centres/prisons etc...

I have always introduced them around at meetings and to other members. Phoned them. Told them to phone me. Took them to meetings. Tried to establish some kind of relationship with them.

Then after a little while, if they have not found a permanent sponsor, I start to make nosies about the steps....

However in my expereince most of them never get past the introducing them at meetings and to other members!! Hence why a temp sponsor was aranged for them by another person and they didn't arrange it themselves.

So don't fret too much you'll be great.

This springs to mind "For those that are ready, notihng you say will change their mind, and for those who aren't ready, nothing you say will change their mind too.

[Tazman53]

Well when I first got out of detox I did as they suggested in detox, I got a sponsor and went to over 90 meetings in 90 days. The guy I asked to be my sponsor told me he would start off as my temporary sponsor. He answered questions, suggested I call him and 2 other men in the fellowship everyday no matter what. He explained to me what to look for in a sponsor and he started me on the steps. I wound up getting a different sponsor because I needed to get through the steps faster then he was able to work with me.

He is a great guy and we parted ways on good terms, we remain good friends, he just had a job that kept him out of town a lot, but available via phone when needed, he just was not in town often enough for us to work the steps quickly.

This worked well for me.

[NoelleR]

As CarolD mentioned earlier.....check out the AA Pamphlet: Questions and Answers on Sponsorship.....Besides finding it at meetings, it can be downloaded from the AA website.....

There's only one thing I feel I must mention here. Although most, if not all, folks will say that a sponsor's major role is to take a newcomer through the steps, the only thing AA's sponsorship pamphlet says regarding sponsors and sponsees and sponsorship, under 'What does a sponsor do?' it only says that a sponsor goes over the meaning of the Twelve Steps, and emphasizes their importance......not a mention of a sponsor guiding the newcomer through the steps.......hmmmmm


NoelleR


P.S. A temporary sponsor would be a sponsor who would help the newcomer until they either become the person's full-time sponsor or the newcomer finds someone else to be their full-time sponsor. Many meetings have lists of persons who are willing to fill in the gap..... (o:

[RufusACanal]

Forgive me Noelle, but what is your point? I hate to assume...

[Jfanagle]

“‘What does a sponsor do?' it only says that a sponsor goes over the meaning of the Twelve Steps, and emphasizes their importance...."
-NoelleR

If a traveler comes to the guide and asks him or her how to get through the jungle and the guide sits down gets out a map and then points out the pitfalls as well as advises the traveler to stay on the trail and turn left here and right there, will this person not be seen as guiding?

I have never done a step for any of the folks that I have sponsored, but I do believe that by telling them about my experiences and the meaning that I and others have ascribed to the steps and the part each step plays in the process of getting and staying sober so that the newcomer can follow the steps, I have in fact "guided them.

It isn't my intent to be argumentative, but I didn't want the idea that AA literature is in some way in conflict with a sponsors PARTICIPATION with a sponsee's taking of the steps. By emphasizing the importance of the steps I don't think one can avoid helping an individual take the steps. As I said, semantics aside, the sponsor is a guide in that we are there to tell and show the newcomer how we and countless others have used EACH step to achieve a sober life.

Just my thoughts and God knows I have been wrong before and will most certainly be wrong again.

Jon

[ananda]

In the sponsorship brouchure the 12 steps is only one of MANY things it lists that a sponsor may do....the others are important too.

I encourage my sponsee to find a way to incorporate her steps in a meaningful way with her spiritual belief/path/experience. So i always want people to gather many peoples expereince as they can and try different things. An the bb talks about the word used are optional and the important part is expressing the concept.

[RobbyRobot]

asking a person to be a temp sponsor is asking that person to be everything that a regular sponsor is but without the formal social introductions and requirements. thats all it really is. it is a real honor to be asked to be of any service so that is warming.

Leaving residential programs can be quite the shock for some. And some really have not much to return to and so the going can quickly get tough. As an added safety net temp sponsors try to keep the sponsee from falling through the cracks until they can get properly networked and setup with outside support.

the other thing about being a temp is that the temp will have no problem letting go when the sponsee chooses on their own steam a regular sponsor in the normal routines of recovery.

That residential program is just asking you to be part of their aftercare resources. a humble honor.

have a great day.

[fraankie]

been there, done that

it's a great way to carry the message
i always give my name and number as a contract
to ye olde rehab, ye older but renovated intergroup,
even if someone goes to a meeting
"i just got out today"

usaualy they have some sort of database to keep track of you
and
when someone is being released in your zipcode, town. county, etc
i would get a call
they would drop a dime on the newbie
i would request he / she call me asap after release
or, i would call them
better they call

then, if possible, arrange a meet with them at the closest meeting to them
i think it's best to get them situated close to their home
since i knew, like everyone,
it was easy to meet,
go to the meeting a bit early, introduce them to some oldtimers
suggest they raise their hand
share "i just got sprung today, i need help, meed a sponsor, need some phone numbers, etc'
then after the meeting,
some chit chat
try to route them a week of meetings
ye olde, olde, olde "call me anytime"
etc

i would even call a few close AA friends sometimes,
"hey, don't say anything,
between you and me,
can you go over to the guy i'm with at the meeting tonight
and
give your phone number"

i even did a 90 and 90 with someone once
a long, long time ago

it's a great experience
you do your best
carry the message
and
leve it in your higher powers' hands


best
frankie