What's the difference between an AA member and a AA attender? - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

lizw · 06-23-2008, 06:44 PM

There's no punch line either - I'm looking forward to any thoughts and comments. My sponsor use to tell me a lot that I needed to become a member not just an attender!

**Rowan** · 06-23-2008, 06:48 PM

Hi Liz,

For me, being a member of AA means having a home group, and attending it each week. It means showing up early to help set up or to connect with other members, and it means to stay afterwards to help put away chairs or, again, to connect with others. It means, during a discussion meeting, to actively participate either by listening or briefly sharing. It means, don't sit in the back row, show up late - and leave early.
It also means working the 12 steps - and applying them to our lives.
Hope this helps.

ananda · 06-23-2008, 07:41 PM

I believe somewhere it says you are an AA member if you say you are. Actively engaging in AA activities certainly helps my sobriety to be better

Rob B · 06-23-2008, 07:56 PM

One wants to be there, one has to be there.

tommyk · 06-23-2008, 08:11 PM

Just time, I hope.

bballdad · 06-23-2008, 08:32 PM

I have heard it a little different
get in AA not just around AA
which means to take the steps instead of just attending meetings

tiburon88 · 06-23-2008, 10:10 PM

No difference there both the same.

NoelleR · 06-23-2008, 11:07 PM

Gee....after all these years I thought the ONLY requirement for membership was a desire to stop drinking.....hmmmmm

Therefore, I guess that if the 'attender' had a desire to stop drinking.....then they'd be the same....they'd BOTH be members.....lol

NoelleR

Tazman53 · 06-24-2008, 02:41 AM

The only requirement to be a member is a desire to stop drinking, one does not even have to attend meetings.

I believe your sponsor means to be an active member and get involved, I have heard a number of people who relapsed share that before thier relapse they were just on the fringes of AA, they came to meetings and listened and then left. Listening in meetings is very helpful, but getting into the fellowship by doing service work (Making coffee, setting up chairs, putting them away, giving folks who need a ride a ride, etc.), getting a sponsor, working the steps, sharing when ready. Sponsoring others when one is ready, I beleive that is what your sponsor is saying.

bugsworth · 06-24-2008, 03:55 AM

lizw...the bb states you are a member if you say you are. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking EVERYTHING else are suggestions.

Seems like some sponsors want to re-write what the original members wrote.

Wishing you much success!

**CarolD** · 06-24-2008, 04:32 AM

I think she meant ....
get started on your Steps
and get involved with service work.

...Guess you better ask her for clarification.

***miss communicat*** · 06-24-2008, 05:32 AM

the difference is:
words and semantics

RufusACanal · 06-24-2008, 05:56 AM

Ahh, for me it's more Miss.

It's one more example of an '"inside job". When I went because I had to, I did not gain the gifts that I would later receive when I went because I wanted to. The change that is internal is more profound and real than the change that is external.

***miss communicat*** · 06-24-2008, 06:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RufusACanal

Ahh, for me it's more Miss.

It's one more example of an '"inside job". When I went because I had to, I did not gain the gifts that I would later receive when I went because I wanted to. The change that is internal is more profound and real than the change that is external.

I do appreciate the finer points Ron, and i too feel that my own understanding of being a member is to participate fully and gladly in a group, in this case, AA.

But to the question, as others have shown me, there are a variety of experiences and therefore, my own is not the only.

Someone else may feel he/she to be a member by attending. Again, to me, it IS much more about participation and interaction.

**best** · 06-24-2008, 07:22 AM

Semantics aside...

I would say that one is active in seeking answers and one is just going through the motions and not looking for growth.

From where I was to where I am now at...ahhh life is great. I can stop where I am at and enjoy what I now have.
Or second choice...
I can reach for even more of the good life and enjoy life to the fullest,
As good as it is...it still gets better.

What can I learn today? Who can I reach out and help today?
Those two things can bring me more enjoyment of life if I pratice them all the more.

Rob B · 06-24-2008, 07:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tiburon88

No difference there both the same.

Are you suggesting the guy I sat next to last week, who told me he didn't want to stop drinking, and was here because he was court ordered is a member?

There is a difference Tib, as has been pointed out in this thread, the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Not everyone sitting in an AA meeting has this desire. They are attenders, and yes if it is an open meeting, they are welcome.

Lastly, The only requirement for membership is not the only requirement for the "suggested" program of recovery.

06-23-2008, 06:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
lizw God's Kid Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: New Zealand Posts: 628	What's the difference between an AA member and a AA attender? There's no punch line either - I'm looking forward to any thoughts and comments. My sponsor use to tell me a lot that I needed to become a member not just an attender!
	__________________ ....blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the children of God.

06-23-2008, 07:56 PM	#4 (permalink)
Rob B Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Southern New Hampshire Posts: 419	One wants to be there, one has to be there.
	__________________ Are You and I so Unalike?

06-23-2008, 08:11 PM	#5 (permalink)
tommyk Hopeshot! Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 920	Just time, I hope.
	__________________ ...got God? Tough love = the truth. Don't shoot the messenger. Carry the message...!

06-23-2008, 08:32 PM	#6 (permalink)
bballdad Member Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: N.C. Posts: 767	I have heard it a little different get in AA not just around AA which means to take the steps instead of just attending meetings
	__________________ I`m not that important

06-24-2008, 02:41 AM	#9 (permalink)
Tazman53 Follow Directions! Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Fredericksburg, Va. Posts: 6,498	The only requirement to be a member is a desire to stop drinking, one does not even have to attend meetings. I believe your sponsor means to be an active member and get involved, I have heard a number of people who relapsed share that before thier relapse they were just on the fringes of AA, they came to meetings and listened and then left. Listening in meetings is very helpful, but getting into the fellowship by doing service work (Making coffee, setting up chairs, putting them away, giving folks who need a ride a ride, etc.), getting a sponsor, working the steps, sharing when ready. Sponsoring others when one is ready, I beleive that is what your sponsor is saying.
	__________________ All BB quotes are from the First Edition of the BB Follow directions! Sobriety date 18 Sept. 2006 Sober today thanks to AA

06-23-2008, 06:48 PM	#2 (permalink)
Rowan Sheriff Newf Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 8,463	Hi Liz, For me, being a member of AA means having a home group, and attending it each week. It means showing up early to help set up or to connect with other members, and it means to stay afterwards to help put away chairs or, again, to connect with others. It means, during a discussion meeting, to actively participate either by listening or briefly sharing. It means, don't sit in the back row, show up late - and leave early. It also means working the 12 steps - and applying them to our lives. Hope this helps.

06-23-2008, 07:41 PM	#3 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Somewhere Left of Left Posts: 3,883	I believe somewhere it says you are an AA member if you say you are. Actively engaging in AA activities certainly helps my sobriety to be better

06-23-2008, 10:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
tiburon88 Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Chicago, IL Posts: 441	No difference there both the same.

06-23-2008, 11:07 PM	#8 (permalink)
NoelleR Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 469	Gee....after all these years I thought the ONLY requirement for membership was a desire to stop drinking.....hmmmmm Therefore, I guess that if the 'attender' had a desire to stop drinking.....then they'd be the same....they'd BOTH be members.....lol NoelleR

06-24-2008, 03:55 AM	#10 (permalink)
bugsworth Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 957	lizw...the bb states you are a member if you say you are. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking EVERYTHING else are suggestions. Seems like some sponsors want to re-write what the original members wrote. Wishing you much success!
bugsworth Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 957

06-24-2008, 04:32 AM	#11 (permalink)
CarolD Forum Leader Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Dallas, Ga. USA Posts: 13,745	I think she meant .... get started on your Steps and get involved with service work. ...Guess you better ask her for clarification.
	__________________ Each Day Sober Is A Victory!! Joy In AA Recovery...

06-24-2008, 05:32 AM	#12 (permalink)
*miss communicat* sobriety is my yoga Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: in the present moment Posts: 1,796	the difference is: words and semantics
	__________________ i close my eyes and see clearly i stop trying to listen and hear truth i am silent and my heart sings i seek no contact and find union i am still and move forward i am gentle and need no strength i am humble and remain whole (ancient taoist meditation)

06-24-2008, 05:56 AM	#13 (permalink)
RufusACanal NCN Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 1,140	Ahh, for me it's more Miss. It's one more example of an '"inside job". When I went because I had to, I did not gain the gifts that I would later receive when I went because I wanted to. The change that is internal is more profound and real than the change that is external.
	__________________ "We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body." All excerpts used are solely from the First Edition of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

06-24-2008, 07:22 AM	#15 (permalink)
best Don't get undies in a bunch Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: South Shore MA Posts: 7,191	Semantics aside... I would say that one is active in seeking answers and one is just going through the motions and not looking for growth. From where I was to where I am now at...ahhh life is great. I can stop where I am at and enjoy what I now have. Or second choice... I can reach for even more of the good life and enjoy life to the fullest, As good as it is...it still gets better. What can I learn today? Who can I reach out and help today? Those two things can bring me more enjoyment of life if I pratice them all the more.
	__________________ * I asked God to spare me pain. God said "No", Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me. Recovery Related Acronym B. E. S. T. = Been Enjoying Sobriety Today?