It gets better

[tkdan]

I heard someone say that at a meeting the other night and it got me to thinking. I started looking back at my sobriety as time had went on. Life really has been better. The funny thing is I had not noticed it because it was gradual. All this time I was expecting to wake-up one day and eveything would be different but it did not happen that way. As time has went on my HP has worked on the areas in my life that were hindering me from experiencing the joy of sobriety. I can testify to this, it gets better if we are willing to take the necessary steps.

[bugsworth]

Nice post tkdan....so much truth to it!

As a fellow Martial artist, I was wondering how your belt test went? I recall you stating you were training again...just curious...excuse the post hijack! LOL

[bballdad]

Dan,thanks man..it sure does
I`ve never had it so good!

[tkdan]

Hey bugsworth, I test the 28th of this month. I have been training a lot lately. I'm to the point that I'm eager to get it over with. This one reason that I have not had a chance to sit back and take a good look at how life has changed for me. Busy, busy, busy, kids, karate, AA, work, life in general. Thanks for asking. Are you currently training?

[bugsworth]

Good luck on the test! My bb test was a killer! Yes I am training....always something to learn grasshopper!! LOL I love it when my Sensei says that! I have a black belt in Kempo, but have recently been doing alot of jujitsu...something about grappling that I love. What form do you practice?

[tkdan]

I have a husband and wife instructors. They are from two different arts. The school is tae kwon do. We also have kickboxing. The senior (husband) instructor has a karate background so I get to learn some Japanese forms on the side.
I know our bb test will be tough. We fight fifteen two minute rounds follower by a two minute round against three. That is after blocking, stricking, kicking drills, traditional forms, creative form, and weapon forms.

[CarolD]

Good to know you are making progress...
...on several levels.

[RufusACanal]

Thank you Dan for this good report.

[Tazman53]

I can testify to this, it gets better if we are willing to take the necessary steps.

Dan I really enjoy seeing you grow, I had to quote the above, you are finding what I found in the steps............. freedom!!!! Once I was able to humble myself and be honest with myself and the world the steps set me free.

Although I no longer practice martial arts (tae kwon do) due to injuries, the self discipline and humbleness I learned in them helped me immensely in working the steps. The last 10 years of my drinking stripped me of self discipline and humbleness, I am thankful they are returning.

Good luck on your test, they are brutal, but part of the learning and the rewards are awesome, similar to the steps, the difference I have found is the steps take more guts, facing myself was the hardest thing I have ever done, but the rewards are the most fulfilling thing in my life.

[tkdan]

the difference I have found is the steps take more guts, facing myself was the hardest thing I have ever done,

Funny you should say this. I was just telling my sponsor how I thought the hardest one of the steps would be five but I soon realized five was a walk in the park compared to four. Doing step four was probably the first time I ever really took an honest look at myself. The act of doing the step was not pleasent but the end result was.

[bugsworth]

Dan you should be very proud of yourself!

While I don't think "guts" have anything to do with sobriety or the martial arts I do believe focus and persistence does.

I remember being a white belt watching the black belts practice their forms, thinking "I'll never be able to do that" How wrong I was! It took years mind you...but I got it done!

Keep up the good work and best of luck again on your test!

[Tazman53]

Funny you should say this. I was just telling my sponsor how I thought the hardest one of the steps would be five but I soon realized five was a walk in the park compared to four. Doing step four was probably the first time I ever really took an honest look at myself. The act of doing the step was not pleasent but the end result was.

Four was the real toughy for me also Dan, as you say, to take an honest.... brutally honest look at myself was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life bar none, Tae Kwon Do, Basic training, service in the military were all easy, they were more a physical challenge with no real looking at me or me accepting responsibility for me.

What got me through step 4 was the promises following step 5. Once I did as thorough a step 4 as I could, I actually looked forward to getting all of it out there in step 5. The freedom I experienced in steps 4 & 5 was absolutely awesome, I felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders.

I was in a meeting before I did my 4th & 5th steps where a guy asked "When is the best time for my to do my 4th & 5th steps?" An old timer answered "My experience has been that when you are ready for the pain to stop." When I heard that I thought to myself "Pain???? I'm not hurting, I am sober and feel fine." Well the pain did come, a mental anguish which did hurt to the point where a drink kept sounding like a good idea again even though I knew it would only lead to more pain.

I had actually grown so used to the pain I carried around with me that it felt normal up to a point, I really did not realize how much baggage I was carrying around with me until I finally was willing to face myself and do my 4th and 5th step.

The end result for me of steps 4 & 5 were well worth the effort as you share it was for you, thanks for sharing your experience Dan.

[RufusACanal]

This last weekend, Tiger Woods provided me once again a welcome panaroma of persistance and dedication that is so rare in life today. tkdan, you too have much to take pride in today as your accomplishments and growth in your new life is no less as exciting as Tiger's was on Monday.