Too close for comfort

[Rowan]

I went to a family reunion with my boyfriend this afternoon - his side of the family. Everyone was to meet at a ball diamond for a baseball game. I don't play ball, so I didn't even think about beer.

I was blindsided. We were there early, and there weren't many people there, but soon others began to arrive, with beer coolers in tow. I found myself talking to people who had a cold beer in their hand.

I retreated to my car - thank God for cell phones - and started calling until I got someone. Then someone else. Then another. I had a plan. I had to leave, take my daughter and her friend, and go somewhere safe - which turned out to be my sister's house in the next town - which is where I am now.

My boyfriend may not understand. And that's okay. I'm keeping the focus where it needs to be - on me - and my sobriety. In the past, I may have projected my feelings onto my boyfriend, and allowed a resentment to erupt. It would have become automatic to thumb my nose at him and to pick up a beer at that point. I know - I've been there before.

So - I'm here, and I'm safe. I'm taking it an hour at a time until he calls me to come meet at his sister's for supper. If there is still a lot of alcohol, I may not go. And although I am concerned about what his family may think, I'm more concerned that I get through this day sober.

One more thing - my daughter's friend, who is 12, disclosed to me this afternoon that her dad is an alcoholic who is not drinking right now. She couldn't see him for 8 months while he was in jail and then recuperating. I shared with the girls what was happening with me - on an age-appropriate level - and when we were driving away from the ball park, this girl said to me, "Way to go, Lynner! That took guts!" And I just wanted to hug her to bits.

I am very grateful that I didn't drink.

[LosingmyMisery]

Good for you! It is always better to play it safe. It isn't worth the consequences.

[miss communicat]

how challenging, yet reaffirming.

good work! its good that you came here and shared, I love the safe feeling in here too!

[tommyk]

Great post iilustrating how you've used the staying sober 'tools' you've learned.

Thanks for sharing.

Newcomers take note - that's how it is done.

[Rowan]

Thanks ladies. You know what I found especially disturbing? I thought my spiritual condition was getting fairly strong - but when experiencing this difficulty - not once did I think of my HP. My sponsor reminded me that he - my HP - did not forget me, though.
I'm quite upset still.

[Toomutch]

Well done Rowan- it was a great decision to leave.

Suzette

[grateful2b]

gee Ro, great recovery, and what a powerful moment with the girls....nice

[Dee74]

I'm happy you made it...but I never thought otherwise

D

[stone]

Rowan, you are one of my best friends here and I am glad you got yourself out of a triggering situation.

I can't give recovery advice (as you know I am struggling) but I just want you to know I love you as a friend.

[Rowan]

I love you guys - and my SR family so, so much.

[historyteach]

"Way to go, Lynner! That took guts!"

Ditto, and lotta and for the *both* of you!!!
I agree with your sponsor.
Your HP didn't forget you at all.
Why do you think you were able to make the calls and get out of there? HP was working within, even if you weren't consciously aware of it.
You're never alone...

Shalom!

[DesertEyes]

Wow Rowan, you are an awesome example of recovery.

Not only did you get yourself away from a dangerous situation, you took care of the kids for which you are responsible _and_ you became an example for _their_ growth. Talk about turning what could have been a disaster into a shining example of healthy living. Well done, Rowan, you have earned your recovery today in an exemplary manner.

So, what's next? Perhaps a meeting or two? Go visit some friends in recovery, visit your sponsor? When I have one of those "almost relapses" I pile on the recovery activities for a few days till that "creepy, scared" feeling goes away.

Mike

[ananda]

a close call is not a sign of lack of spirituality...you are such an inspiration row....everyone has said it all....please be good to yourself and be proud of your self You ARE a strong and good person!

[CarolD]

Wise move....

And yoou had a sister visit as a bonus.

[gravity]

During my recovery journey, I have had people put in my life at just the right moment to keep me strong, to remind me of why I am sober. Only because of your sobriety, you were there to help that young girl. To me, these are among the true rewards of sobriety, gifts from God. Take good care of yourself, you are doing just great.

[Dee74]

I gotta agree with Nands - to me spiritual condition isn't measured by how many times we mention HP or God, or even how many times when think of HP...

it's actions that matter...it's how we live and what we do that counts...and you did just fine
as others have said, the God of your personal understanding was there, and you're not drunk.

I figure you must be doing something right

D

[Rowan]

I ended up not going for supper - and may have to go pick bf up when he's ready to come home, but that's okay.

I took the girls out for pizza, and we went to a park. We threw the football around, picked shells on the beach, and enjoyed the sunshine. It's been a surreal afternoon. I don't have much appetite and I am very tired.

I will go to a meeting in the morning. I talked to my sponsor,and three other women friends in recovery.

I want to thank everyone who took the time to respond. I really needed some encouragement today.

[nogard]

I read in our literature recently, if you don't experience hp anymore, who moved? glad you didn't pick up Rowan.

Kevin

[bballdad]

Rowan,days like today may make those good days look even gooder.

hang in there...

[tanyapmc]

I am so grateful that you didn't drink Rolo! You did exactly what the program teaches. You left, and then started reaching out! I am so proud of you!! You are showing me and others how to get through a difficult situation.

Remember........This too shall pass. (and all that other crap)

I love ya Rolo!!

[tellus]

(((((Ro)))))

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Sounds like you handled the situation amazingly, though. Way to set a stellar example for the girls.

[AW2486]

Originally Posted by Rowan

Thanks ladies. You know what I found especially disturbing? I thought my spiritual condition was getting fairly strong - but when experiencing this difficulty - not once did I think of my HP. My sponsor reminded me that he - my HP - did not forget me, though.

Your sponsor is right. Your HP was with you the whole time.

I love what Page 55 of the BB says. My HP talks to me through conscious contact. That little voice that we hear deep down inside us. The one that told you this wasn't right for you and as Dee said it led to action.

You did great ..

[kelsh]

Rowan,

What a Day...you must be exhausted but feeling so good about what you did. I had a teenage daughter still home when I sobered up...she had just been diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes and one evening we sat on the couch talking about how her disease and my disease were simular...we had to take care of ourselves and change a lot of things in our life to keep living...I will never forget that time.

You handled yourself soooo gooood....

kelsh